When we had women-only spaces: A nostalgia thread

[EmpressLesbianInChair]

I came out as lesbian in London in the late 90s.

I remember women-only discos, Cherries at the Minories & the mammoth Girls on Top in Hemel Hempstead.

I remember the Glass Bar by Euston station, a small brick women-only bar run by the amazing Elaine, with armchairs & sofas & board games & a lavishly decorated toilet, where there were comedy nights & music nights.

I remember Silver Moon Books, and the women’s discussion group at Gay’s the Word, and message boards and book clubs that were all female.

Anyone else?

It’s a shame the bars and spaces don’t exist any more (although GTW is still there) but every single one of them failed for the same reason, women don’t spend money in the same way men do.

Really? Thats not the reason women only services round here are mixed sex these days. Its men bullying their way in basically, because god forbid women have any space away from men, they must be planning witchy things behind closed doors or having a fantastic time so men must be able to come in!

Actually, I still manage to go to a womans only swim. And have been assured it will remain women only also, so am content for th near future anyway. I wish more women could get that assurance, or that the service existed in their areas to begin with, should they chose for whatever reason, to not want to be around males.

I remember when Silver Mood could have a lesbian section, and a nice little polite notice telling men that this lesbian section wasn't for them, and could they go away to another part of the shop, please, and the shop - amazingly - wasn't burnt down in protest by a bunch of woke bros yelling Die Cis Scum.

Happy days.

I remember when Silver Mood could have a lesbian section, and a nice little polite notice telling men that this lesbian section wasn't for them, and could they go away to another part of the shop

I’d forgotten all about that.

It’s a shame the bars and spaces don’t exist any more

I don't lament them at all.
It seems like there were far more men only spaces e.g. bars, golf clubs, than women only places, and most of these have been dismantled now.
Apart from London "clubs" and some golf clubs, all the pubs that were men only have now long gone, and good riddance.

”Oh and every single one of them was inclusive to trans women. Every single one.”

Presumably back then they were mostly transsexuals, trying to quietly get on with their lives and not openly bepenised and bearded people insisting they’re biological women and if we don’t agree we must be educated.

Another change to be regretted perhaps?

Interesting to see how the experiences of some males are brought/forced in so quickly even to women sharing nostalgia for womens' space space.

Having had gyny cancer, the groups whether support, campaigning or treatment are by definition single sex. I spent a few years in the midst of many women-only places after I was diagnosed.
The quality of the strengths, compassion and solidarity amongst women is sex-specific and what was created within those groups really powerful.
(Very occasonally spaces were disrupted by maleness. Patterns which would be recognisable to many women here)

I remember going into the sexual health clinic that was female only. It was a really nice experience with ladies cooing over the children/babies. It felt a lot more relaxed with no men there.

Feb 2019 Guardian
'We are now free': Yazidis fleeing Isis start over in female-only commune'
(extract)
In Jinwar, north-eastern Syria, a pioneering group of women are rebuilding their lives away from the constraints of patriarchy

Berivan runs over to join in the dancing, her traditional gold dress catching the winter sunlight. The 15-year-old Yazidi clasps hands with her best friend and stands among the line of women stamping their feet to a Kurdish pop song.

Berivan and her mother are from Sinjar in Iraq, the Yazidi homeland, but like thousands of other Yazidis they were kidnapped by Islamic State in 2014 when the group stormed across the border from Syria. (continues)

"Jinwar is a female-only community, set up by the women of the local Kurdish-run administration to create a space where women can live “free of the constraints of the oppressive power structures of patriarchy and capitalism”. It opened in November and 12 of its 30 adobe brick houses are home to Kurdish, Yazidi and Arab families.

The women built their own houses, bake their own bread and tend to the livestock and farmland, cooking and eating together. On Saturday, people from the neighbouring villages have been invited to a graduation celebration for a group of local women who had attended a course on natural medicines at Jinwar’s education centre." (continues)
www.theguardian.com/world/2019/feb/25/yazidis-isis-female-only-commune-jinwar-syria

I only hope they can stay female only. In the real sense.

Vanilla Bar Manchester (feels like it was only a couple of years ago but actually was circa 2004). It was a women only bar popular with lesbians and biwomen, the traditional non penis owning ones. I also worked supporting victims of sexual violence. The victims were all women and the staff were all women. Not describing any more as it would ID too much. Tough but amazing experience that changed me forever.

I lived in the Middle East for a number of years and while I had a lot of conflicting feelings about that, one thing that I deeply miss is my women only gym. It was unutterably fabulous to be in a space dedicated only to women’s bodies. No dude bros, no grunting troglodytes, no selfish blokes hogging the equipment, no getting side eyed or ogled. I learnt to lift proper weights from a Russian and an Emirati. It was the only place where I genuinely connected with local women.

The abaya and shaila hanging section in the changing rooms always tickled me, too .

Happy days.

Sad that it only took a few posts for someone to shoehorn men in, though.

Greenham Common
Rape Crisis - fund raising, setting up the centre, training ourselves and watching the service grow
Silver Moon
Stonewall lesbian mother's group [irony alert]

Anyone remember Outwrite? Women's newspaper produced by a women's collective in the 1980s?

I used to read spare rib, a schoolfriend gave me her copy when we were 14, and it was eye opening.

I read about a women’s village thst had been set up after women had had enough of being abused by men. Having their own village and their own space allowed them to grow strong and healthy.

In Africa, I’m not sure where.

I really want to visit the swimming pool in Helsinki that has women only days where you can swim naked. I much prefer to swim naked but can only do that in deserted lakes usually.

I'm in my late 50s now, so was in my 20s in the 1980s. I remember many, many women-only spaces - women's centres, women's groups, women's discos, women's bookshops (SIsterwrite was my favourite). I volunteered for Women's Aid and Rape Crisis. Look at the 'Lesbians on Chairs' event video on YouTube - Sheila Jeffreys is the first speaker and she recounts what has been lost in terms of women's and lesbians' spaces and culture. It's tragic. Oh, and my recollection is that these spaces were genuinely women-only and that was not contested. They did not include transwomen - I don't recall ever coming across one in women-only spaces back then. It's possible that there might have been some who passed so completely that no other women realised, but that is very rare, so i doubt it.

I like women only spaces, but I don't think the whole reason they have disappeared is the issue of trans persons. There has been a real effort to dismantle single sex spaces for men, and women's spaces have been affected by that, by the logic that single sex spaces are inherently discriminatory.

Even in terms of funding, publicly funded spaces of that type can only be funded on certain very narrow reasons where sex is seen to be really relevant.

A lot of people who grew up under this perspective find the idea of separating sexes difficult to understand or even offensive.

I'm in my 60's. When I first started work in the 1970's, I used to catch a ferry to the city. That ferry had a "Ladies' Saloon" which was wonderful. It was such a cheery place, women sitting around chatting and putting on their makeup , relaxing totally with no worries about men staring or being inappropriate. Ahh, those were the days.

That sounds lovely, Birdie6.

Oh, and my recollection is that these spaces were genuinely women-only and that was not contested. They did not include transwomen

In this short speech by Sheila Jeffries she describes how in the 1970's there were a few males who attempted to enter women's spaces but they were refused. The vast majority of women were clear about protecting female space:

Does anyone remember Shocking Pink? A women's mag in the early 1990s? That introduced me to feminism

I was at an all-female lesbian and bi youth group, and it was one of the most healing and important space in my life. I could breathe for the first time, I felt loved for the first time, and safe. Nowadays it is no longer all-female, self-ID rules. That makes me pretty sad for the young women. Apparently not many go now as they tend to all go to the trans group instead. Nothing beats all female space - it's where we learned about feminism and started to unpick our socialisation.

There has been a real effort to dismantle single sex spaces for men, and women's spaces have been affected by that, by the logic that single sex spaces are inherently discriminatory.

Yes, that's my memory too, as I hinted above.