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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Anyone for a spot of gender-neutral wanking?

37 replies

WhatABunchOfWankers · 10/05/2019 23:29

www.lgbt.foundation/SWS

Or maybe you'd prefer the women-only wank session - for everyone who self-identifies as a woman some or all of the time (especially if that some of the time happens to be while you are enjoying some self-pleasure).

Or the queer sex session where you can be educated by a transwoman on sex-related prejudices and re-think your concept of sexuality (hmm....I wonder where that one is going....)

How about an introduction to bondage or fetish - or learning how the "sex workers rights movement" fits in with feminism?

For those of you who are not part of the alphabet soup, LGB organisations have not always been like this. There was a valuable provision of groups for LGB people - particularly those who were just coming out - to meet, socialise, discuss issues (and, yes, sometimes then go out drinking and maybe cop off :-) ). But the demographic that services are being provided for has changed massively in just the last few years (and I'm thinking about the Q as much as and possibly even more than the T here).

Originally services were being provided to people who were same-sex attracted (or attracted to both sexes). Some of those people would have been very much opposed to all the bondage, fetish and pro-prostitution stuff outlined above, others would have had a "well, not for me but live and let live" attitude while a minority would have been actively into this stuff.

Now organisations and services are for the "queer" community which outsiders and funding bodies seem to think is another word (maybe slightly more inclusive) for the same people but it isn't. Queer has now come to mean having a particular viewpoint (ie "sex positive", pro-kink, pro-transactivism, negative attitude to lesbians for not being "open-minded" enough to have sex with males). Some LGB people do not share this view and are alienated from the organisations and services while many people who we would previously have regarded as heterosexual identify as being queer and embrace all this. Meanwhile, young same-sex attracted people tentatively coming out and looking for a community are thrown into this world of kink and fetish and told that this is their community.

OP posts:
donajimena · 10/05/2019 23:36

Oh FFS this is just too much. Why on earth is there an international masturbation day? Does anyone actually need a day for this this? Coming to think about it (excuse the pun) considering the amount of shit I have to do between study/kids/work perhaps we should all make a day of it.

moofolk · 11/05/2019 00:01

Wow. What a bunch of wankers.

bd67th · 11/05/2019 00:03

I concur. For a very long time now, I've been distrustful of the LGBT organisations because they don't represent me where it matters: challenging male entitlement towards bi and lesbian women (especially bi, men seem to think that the only reason for bi women dating each other is so that men can join in), defending our right to same-sex attraction and penis-free beds, and facilitating female-only, penis-free social spaces.

The conflation of LGB and T with kink and pro-prostitution is harmful. LGB and T youth can end up prostituted because their families have kicked them out and they have few options, perhaps a pimp is the first person to offer a bed. The "LGBT" orgs should be helping these youth escape, get safe housing amd navigate the social security system etc, not tell them that being a prostitute is a job like any other (it isn't: sex for cash doesn't withstand a health and safety assessment) and here are some kink skills to increase your earnings. Vulnerable people should be not be directed to kink, there are some seriously dodgy types on the kink scene and a LGB or T person with insecure housing and no job would be vulnerable. (I'm not condemning people who do kink, consenting adults can do what they like in private: I'm saying that the kink scene has some dodgy people in it and a vulnerable person cannot meaningfully consent to power exchanges and won't have the boundary-setting skills to recognise and navigate the bad apples.)

bd67th · 11/05/2019 00:12

It's just hit me that this is an absolute rip-off and bastardisation of Betty Dodson's workshops where she taught women (as in adult human females) how to use Hitachi wands on their clitorises. I might consider a technique workshop that was female-only, but never one that included males. Penises can be quite threatening, what with being a potential weapon against women.

Why on earth is there an international masturbation day?

In fairness to the idea of a Masturbation Day, wanking alone without porn is the only truly ethical mode of sexual pleasure because you cannot hurt anyone else. I would argue that we need not to discourage it.

FloralBunting · 11/05/2019 00:16

Fucksake. You know those really powerful conservative forces that just criminalized abortion in parts of the US? That think anyone but very prim heterosexuals are sex obsessed perverts and feminists want to destroy morality? You are doing their PR for them you fucking idiots.

FloralBunting · 11/05/2019 00:16

Obviously not directed at anyone in the thread.

JuniFora · 11/05/2019 00:25

I bet every self identified woman who turned up to the group wanking session was so disappointed at only penises on display.

ClaraMatilda · 11/05/2019 00:30

WTF. Surely if you're going to hold sessions on how to self-pleasure (ridiculous idea) it'd be sensible to divide them according to genital configuration?

Interesting information about the Q. As an outsider that always baffled me because I'd only ever heard 'queer' being used as a very offensive, derogatory term for gay people. Now it means straight men who like kinky sex and support gender ideology. Or, to go by certain blogs, straight women who like to call themselves nonbinary demiboys while dating men and performing femininity in the usual way.

AlwaysComingHome · 11/05/2019 00:35

I’m old fashioned enough to think that masturbation is a solitary occupation.

If there are two or more of you why not just have sex?

bd67th · 11/05/2019 01:05

If there are two or more of you why not just have sex?

Because I won't give myself cystitis nor an unwanted uterine boarder.

AlunWynsKnee · 11/05/2019 01:13

Coffee and consent.
Right at the bottom of the list but perhaps more important than "Ladies come and wank your clitoris or penis. Who knows. Find out once you've removed your undies. Hurrah!"

NottonightJosepheen · 11/05/2019 01:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AncientLights · 11/05/2019 06:05

FFS! It's 6am and I'm reading about this? Just ugh.

Can't but wonder how many of the 'self-identifying women' in their special wank session will have a penis.

littlbrowndog · 11/05/2019 07:08

An introduction into Japanese rope bondage😮

Gawd imagine sitting with a pack of strangers doing all theses workshops

TheInebriati · 11/05/2019 10:54

If there are two or more of you why not just have sex?

Ask any trans widow, mutual masturbation is popular with AGP's.

Daughterofmabel · 11/05/2019 11:01

I opened this thread thinking it said gender neutral walking.Wish I hadnt now.BlushShame coz I really love walking.

Deliriumoftheendless · 11/05/2019 11:05

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with mutual masturbation as a part of a varied sex life tbh. Sometimes it hits the spot (pardon the pun) when you don’t feel like full sex.

I also think it’s a bad thing for young (or not so young) women to never learn what pleases them without it being dictated by male desire. It took year and years for me to enjoy sex and not see masturbation as shameful and secretive.

I don’t know how you get this message across without it attracting predatory types though. Which is part of the problem.

theOtherPamAyres · 11/05/2019 11:41

Oh the Manchester LGBT Foundation again. They never fail to surprise.

They are funded by the tax payer and through the community charges of the councils in Greater Manchester. As a health charity, they get money from the NHS.

Manchester Pride has got increasingly sleazy over the years. There's the fetishists and thrusting bare-arsed blokes in leather thongs in amongst the mix, nowadays. The LGBT Foundation seems to cater for these men more and more.

This stuff belongs in the private sphere. Not at Pride. Not in a health charity in receipt of public funds.

floraloctopus · 11/05/2019 11:47

I quite fancy the sexual solidarity ceramics but I fear that I'd make something they'd consider inappropriate Grin

InTheHeatofLisbon · 11/05/2019 11:51

For those of you who are not part of the alphabet soup, LGB organisations have not always been like this. There was a valuable provision of groups for LGB people - particularly those who were just coming out - to meet, socialise, discuss issues (and, yes, sometimes then go out drinking and maybe cop off :-) ). But the demographic that services are being provided for has changed massively in just the last few years (and I'm thinking about the Q as much as and possibly even more than the T here).

I fully agree with this. It's a very articulate explanation of the origin of the LGB movement, as it was when I was at uni. Good friends of mine were members of the LGB and did a huge amount of great work on campus.

I don't recognise the movement now. Because it's not what it was, and it's not what it was meant to be. It's become a bullying, oppressive, male orientated movement and if anything doesn't fit with that agenda, fine, they change the definition of words until it does.

Not what the LGB movement was started for, in any way.

BuckingFrolics · 11/05/2019 12:01

Oh god. That's just vile.

TheGoalIsToStayOutOfTheHole · 11/05/2019 12:06

Another who thinks attendees may be a bit upset when they realise only penis owners turn up. This reminds me of that really creepy workshop that was going to be on in Leeds I think it was..I dont remember specifics but I do remember marking myself as a potential attendee to see what happened, and being asked for wads of cash for some dude to teach me how to pleasure myself..or something. Everyone said the whole thing reminded them of the Yoni massage dude.

NotTerfNorCis · 11/05/2019 12:45

attendees may be a bit upset when they realise only penis owners turn up

I want that to happen. It will be hilarious.

FermatsTheorem · 11/05/2019 15:18

It's all a bit Brian from Hull, isn't it?

I can't be the only one wondering what gender neutral wanking would be. Do you find some bit of your anatomy common to both sexes and try to retrain your brain to recognise it as an erogenous zone? Orgasm through subtle manipulation of your left big toe (or perhaps not so subtle manipulation if you like it rough)?

feelingverylazytoday · 11/05/2019 15:26

Lol, didn't another group try something similar with 'glittery boobie painting' a few months ago.
Newsflash, its not going to work you wassochs. Even the most brainwashed libfem is not going to fall for it.

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