Article about giving my children a “gender-neutral” upbringing.

[stumbledin]

... We don’t know how much gender differences in behaviour are innate and how much they’re learned but we do know that much of what we think of as essential is thoroughly cultural. In some societies, women are deemed the chatty sex; in others, men. In some eras, male flamboyance has been the height of masculinity, while other periods have deemed it effete and shameful.

Whatever the shifting rules, they’re inextricably bound to social power and sexism. The stereotypes we absorb as children shape the adults we become. I failed at gender-neutral parenting, but any individual – or even family – alone must fail. ...

From an article by Sarah Ditum - so sad we are still having to think about this.

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/may/05/it-was-all-going-so-well-until-the-nail-polish-incident

PS It is primarily an article to get people to take part in Fawcett's commission on gender stereotyping in early childhood.

If you won't paint a 4 year old boy's nails, then you really don't seem to have gone far down the "gender neutral" parenting route.

I agree, I’d expect most parents I know (who aren’t trying to be gender neutral) would paint a 4 year old boy’s nails - why on earth would you think other 4 year olds would bully him for it? More likely to be envious, or say nothing.

It’s always been easier to be gender neutral with girls than boys. Girls in trousers, fully accepted. Boys in dresses - not so much.
Toxic patriarchy requires males to be fully invested in maintaining the status quo and their power base. It comes down hard on boy dissidents, whereas it can dismiss girls doing boy things with a patronising pat on head that they are cute or trying to copy the “superior” sex.
If the girls actually become successful in a male field as adults, they will then slap them down as “unfeminine” or bitches.
Misogynist fathers can be terrified their son may be gay, and panic at any sign of pink or sparkles, empathy or gentleness. They think their daughters don’t matter, so are less bothered by what they wear or do.

I feel like the parents around here would absolutely not paint a four year old girls nails, but would quite possibly fall over themselves to paint a four year old boys nails.

Gender neutral always means “boy stuff that girls are allowed to use”.