Such ignorance and generalisation based on ignorance! We face so much from some medical professionals and NT world but it is shocking coming from the autistic community.
DS2 was referred to SALT at 2.5 for speech delay and still has articulation issues at 13. His primary school insisted on audiology investigation because they thought he couldn't hear. They called in EP when he was 7 because they thought he had LD - although not hearing impaired he ignored his name and instructions and struggled to write at all.
Imagine their shock when objective cognitive assessment revealed him to be on the 99th+ percentile. So they ignored it - didn't compute - and continued to treat him as below cognitive average (he now has a personal budget to attend internet school as brick school insisted that he must be in bottom sets to get LSA support because school doesn't meet the need of 'twice exceptional' DC - today he was laughing at how easy tangent ratio in right angled triangles is and is predicted A* in maths iGCSE next year).
But the visible/audible 'deficits' meant that he ticked the boxes and we never had problems getting an EHCP etc when he was a m/s primary. It 'just' affected his self-esteem etc.
DS1 had no speech issues (beyond selective mutism) but we have had to fight (Tribunal, judicial review) to have his educational, health and social needs met. Whilst DS2 will complete education and get a degree and probably study to PhD, post-doctoral level, work, live independently etc, DS1 was unable to attend even ss school beyond 14 and every day is a struggle to keep him alive. Perhaps there is a connection between lack of early intervention and outcome? Between saying one autistic child 'deserves' support but another autistic child with a different presentation (but higher need) does not?
Unbelievably, the only agency that seems to recognise the needs of chronically anxious HF autistics with no speech delay are the DWP and so DS1 is eligible to receive higher level social care PIP and ESA in the not-expected-to-work group.
I used to post and regularly read the SN boards. There was no conflict between parents with so/called LF and HF DC. The struggles were different but whilst those with verbal and mobile DC struggled with diagnosis, appropriate schooling, tribunal, hearing DC saying they hated you, being told your DC was 'fine' etc, those with non-verbal or mobile DC struggled with constant appointments, SN buggies, never hearing your DC say they loved you, being stared at etc we all shared common experiences and empathised rather than competed with each other.