How would you respond to this interview question?

[Newnyham]

Are you planning to start a family? / Any variation of this.

I have a bout of job interviews coming up so I've been doing some practice with my dad who regularly recruits staff.

He threw this question in there when we were rehearsing. At first I actually laughed, and then told him that he wasn't allowed to ask that. That I was pretty sure it was illegal to ask that in an interview. Anyway to cut a long story short he advised me that the only acceptable answer in this scenario would be to say that I have no plans and move swiftly on.

He said that if I refused to answer the question, said yes or called them out on/argued about the questions legality then that would not help me get the job. Which really is the overall aim.

Erythronium I hope not, I didn't ask. At least he now knows it's borderline illegal. I know he's also had some tough interviews himself - though hasn't faced any discrimination that I know of.

Our director regularly asks women if they are using contraception during interviews.

I would actually be speechless if this one came up.

I was got feedback from an unsuccessful interview where the director told me I didn't get the job because I didn't have children.

*Once

How about
"I was afraid you'd ask that so please refer to addendum #3 on my resume which details: my moon calendar, sexual activity charts, miscarriage, abortion, obstetrical and breastfeeding, and gyn medical charts"
....Next question?"

Definitely illegal to ask that question and you can actually sue the company if you don’t get the job and have responded positive

I was asked at interview once if I thought I was a good mother.

Given I wasn’t one at the time that’s what I replied.

That wasn’t the right answer, all women are Mother’s because of the holy mother apparently and it didn’t matter if I had literal children or not.

I wish I’d walked out there and then tbh. I didn’t have the guts and I also didn’t get the job. Presumably he gave it to a more nurturing type 🙄

When I was still trying to get employed I got asked several times who would look after my DC if they were ill and predictably didn't get hired. For minimum wage jobs. Fuckers. And I come from a country where your employer legally has to give you ten days paid time off if your child is under 12, 20 days if you're single. So I didn't even understand the question. Oh and DH hasn't ever been asked, not even once. Even though he actually talks about us in his interviews because kids are seen as an asset for him. Liability for me, of course.

And if I was asked that question now, I'd probably leave after giving them a piece of my mind. Working for an employer who asks me that outright doesn't seem like a great idea (unless they pay loads and it's your absolute dream job which you would sacrifice loads for).

Our PM Jacinda Ardern being asked about her baby plans in 2017. She had just been elected the new leader of the Labour Party, a few weeks out from the General Election.

www.theguardian.com/world/2017/aug/02/unacceptable-new-zealands-labour-leader-asked-about-baby-plans-six-hours-into-job

I've been asked - I laughed and said no. I can't even remember if at the time I was with my current partner (and father of my kids), and my actual plans wouldn't come into it. If they ask, they get an answer they want to hear, whether it's the truth or not.

'Do you have reliable childcare' - my partner works from home (he doesn't), and I have nearby family who can step in (I have nearish family, they'd probably step in if asked, but I wouldn't put them in that situation unless it was a dire emergency)

Chances are I don't want the job if that's how management is, but I'm going to see the interview through and see how it goes, just for practise, and because you never know what they're going to offer!

Ruth Bader Ginsburg once gave a TV interview where she said her son was naughty at school a lot, and the school kept calling her to come down and sort it out. She got quite annoyed with this, and one time she asked the school to ring her husband because she wasn't a lone parent, after all, and she was at work. I love this story because employers, schools etc forget that there can be two parents in a child's life.

Employers do not need to ask women if they are planning to have children. But it still happens, and there is still the sexist idea that women with families are less committed to their work than men.

Even employed, you come across stupid assumptions. After I had told my manager I was pregnant he assumed I would return to work part-time or not come back at all. I put him straight. He then asked, "who will look after the baby when you are at work?" I said DD father, grandparents or private nursery. That shut him up.

If I was asked if I use contraception in an interview I just give a blank ‘no.’ Then I’d sue the fuck out of the company for discrimination when I didn’t get the job, and make them look a bit stupid as I’m a lesbian.

Or actually, in the real world I’d be gobsmacked. Partly at the unbelievable impertinance, but also because I’m getting a bit old for all that now. I’d more likely utter an offended ‘that’s got nothing to do with you.’

My understanding is it’s not illegal if they ask it of everyone they are interviewing. However, as others have said, if they ask it they are arseholes

More than that they are a liability for their company.

LassOfFyvieHe has been involved with interviewing. I think he threw it in there so that I would have already considered my answer, should it come up. Though it annoyed me I'm glad he made me aware that it could be something they ask. I didn’t think it was a possibility

Your father should be nowhere near the recruitment process if he thinks this is a reasonable question. Any interviewer asking that is exposing themselves to a discrimination claim.

I was asked this question by the second interviewer once. The lead interviewer went purple. I raised an eyebrow and paused until the lead interviewer muttered something to the other bloke about the question not being relevant. I got the job.
In another interview I was asked was my husband ok with me doing this sort of job?

"ah, I see. Thank you very much for your time, good day" would be my answer. Wouldn't work for a company that thinks that question adds any value to the recruitment and selection process.

I had a similar question thrown at me in a job interview. I had left the exact job the year previously to return to a different role.

“Where do you see yourself in five years time?”

When asked to a 29 year old female is a “legitimate” way of asking the same question. I told them ( all white and all male) it didn’t matter what I’d be doing in 5 years time, they needed to decide who would be best based on the interview today.

Of course I didn’t get the job. Thankfully. There was a reason I left the first time and the issues intensified over time.

I have stood up and walked out of an interview on being asked that question. That I had no intention of having any kids was not the point. That they asked the question told me something about them that was so blatant that they hadn't cared enough to disguise it.

The stroppy suit in charge followed me out shouting that I was being unprofessional. My last line was that I recognised unprofessional when I saw it, just as I recognised illegal work practices. Said in their reception, in front of other candidates.

Many years later I recognised Stroppy Suit when I was interviewing him. Reader, he did not get the job!

I got asked if I'd prioritise the nativity play over an important meeting once. And I work in HR!!!

I am happy to report that this question didn't come up in any of my interviews! 2/3 the places I was interviewed at brought up themselves that they were proud to employed more women than men and this is the construction industry! I mean all of the senior staff were men but hey ho, that's an argument for another day.

If it was asked I would simply reply ‘I’m not going to answer that’. If My skills and other qualities that I would bring to the job doesn’t outweigh that then it’s never going to be the right job.