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Original poster

Please someone help -

25 replies

User4763 · 13/04/2019 02:39

18 months ago I got rid of a horrendously abusive man- sexually, violently, emotionally abusive. When we split I unfortunately rebounded to sleeping with a man who lives a few doors down from me. Contraception failed, I fell pregnant and heart wrenchingly decided to abort, no support from him. Life moves on, then tonight I receive messages from his new partner. I try to ignore but the messages move to abusive, then I maybe stupidly tell her the truth . Then death threats from him they were growing increasingly more specific and violent until I eventually logged with 101. Mentally I'm now back in that horrid little space my ex had me in where I just want to die

OP posts:
AvengersAssemble · 13/04/2019 02:41

No OP we are here for you. Thanks

AvengersAssemble · 13/04/2019 02:44

Block the number and ignore. The Police can deal them both. You always find the new partner believes everything the ex says. He has shown you what kind of evil man he is, do not let him get into your headspace. Ignore, you have done the right thing. You have done nothing wrong, you do not need to speak to her or explain anything. Just calm down and let's get through this together. Smile

WantToRunThere · 13/04/2019 02:50

Well done for contacting 101 about it OP. The police can deal with it.
Do you want to have a chat about anything to get through the night?

Original poster
User4763 · 13/04/2019 02:55

I don't know what, I don't know why I attract drama that I hate, I'm lying here with a knife next ti me un case that psycho breaks my door in.. I'm so sick of men dictating my life, my level if fear, my level if anxiety. Why cant the tables ever be turned. I was loving life before this to a point why am I letting this ruin it all??

OP posts:
Alicewond · 13/04/2019 02:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AvengersAssemble · 13/04/2019 02:59

He has done exactly what he set out to do, to frighten you. Put the knife away, you have rang the Police, if he does turn ring 999 immediately and do not open the door.

You are making positive steps in the right direction. Leave all the toxic people behind. Please do not let him hurt you anymore by doing something stupid.

Alicewond · 13/04/2019 02:59

Oh god op, I’m so sorry, just re read your initial post and I messed up massively here, please forgive me. I hope you realise you are so strong

WantToRunThere · 13/04/2019 03:02

It’s not your fault OP. Some people are real fucking arseholes.
You’ve got your door locked. The police know what’s going on.
If they start banging it’s 999.
I don’t mean to be patronisng, but it’ll be getting light soon, and I always think that makes shit like this easier to deal with

Alicewond · 13/04/2019 03:05

Op I’ve also lived through an abusive relationship and got to see the other side of it. Here if you ever want to talk x

WantToRunThere · 13/04/2019 03:06

Cliché mumsnet advice, but have you done the freedom program? A close friend did it after a horrific relationship and she found it helped massively

Alicewond · 13/04/2019 03:12

@User4763 are you ok?

AvengersAssemble · 13/04/2019 03:25

OP are you ok? We are all here for you. Please let us know you are ok.

2BthatUnnoticed · 13/04/2019 03:53

Flowers OP be strong, you are strong. Do not open the door. Keep your phone charged.. I’m thinking of you and hope you feel better in the morning.

NormaStanleyFletcher · 13/04/2019 06:05

Oh love. We are here for you.

I hope you got some sleep and things look brighter today.

ISaySteadyOn · 13/04/2019 07:18

Flowers hope it all looks better this morning. We're here.

Original poster
User4763 · 13/04/2019 07:39

Hi all - I managed to get some sleep. I feel less panicked, though my anxieties are still raging, heart is going nuts. Just cant believe I'm back to this low point after I've been feeling great since July. Thank you all for listening to my rambling Flowers

OP posts:
Original poster
User4763 · 13/04/2019 10:07

He's been knocking at my door this morning - obviously I didn't answer. Does anyone have any good self-calming techniques? Does anyone know if SS will get involved? I have a DC (not with him). I've worked myself up into a right state of panic again

OP posts:
SignMeUp · 13/04/2019 10:41

Can you stay with a friend or relative for a few days?

endchauvinism · 13/04/2019 15:04

I've been through a number of abusive relationships and I don't think I always behave practically in these situations so I don't want to give any bad advice. But I wonder if it'd be a good idea to keep his number blocked and send him one last message letting him know he's blocked and you're going to get the police involved if he doesn't leave you alone.

MNHQ
LouMumsnet · 13/04/2019 17:16

Hi there OP.

We're so very sorry to hear you're going through this, OP. It sounds truly awful and frightening.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged to us we like to link to our web-guides, which we hope may be helpful. If you'd like to, please do feel free to take a look at our Domestic Violence page.

Very best wishes from all at MNHQ Flowers

2BthatUnnoticed · 14/04/2019 00:52

  1. Deep breathing, such a cliche but I find it helps.
  1. Positive self talk, be strong for yourself and your child.
  1. Grey rock, do not engage.
  1. Do you have a friend you could stay with?
  1. Access the links and support signposted by MN and any others in your area.

FlowersFlowersFlowers

SignMeUp · 14/04/2019 03:37

Are you OK?
Sending strength, wisdom and safety
Please reach out and accept help
In solidarity
Love,
Someone like you who found her way out

KataraJean · 14/04/2019 06:06

Can you get a non-molestation order from the courts?
In the meantime, call the police if he turns up. Have they given you any advice on what to do/when to call them?

If SS get involved, it will be to support you. You are doing your best to protect your child, so they won’t intervene in your parenting.

Yeahnahyeah · 14/04/2019 06:16

Fuck them. You are stronger than you realize. Go well.

SignMeUp · 17/04/2019 04:42

Keep thinking of User4763

Is there any way to check on her?

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