Why are women shamed for taking the morning after pill?

[Sophestry]

I guess there is an underlying assumption that, if you're taking emergency contraception, you didn't use contraception, but in reality no contraceptive is 100% effective and, if you don't want another child, it is often the right choice for you at the time.

Young mothers, married ladies, people in long term relationships and pretty much anyone with a uterus who has sex may seek emergency contraception at some time in their life. Some experiences are really straight forward and easy but, especially outside of the cities, it can be really horrible.

This has turned into a bit of a rant, but I'm curious to find out what your thoughts are RE morning after pill shaming and if you think there is still a stigma attached to emergency contraception.

Inspired by this: www.mymorningafter.co.uk/mymorningafterstories

If you have sex, you're planning to get pregnant.

😂 that’s so silly.

But actually, also deeply unkind. Rape. Failed contraception. Enjoyment. I mean seriously, this is the feminism boards

Confusedfornow by it's very nature the MAP is taking responsibility. Your username seems very appropriate.

Oh confused you'd be hilarious if you weren't so fucking terrifying. Why do some women hate women so much?

If you have sex, you're planning to get pregnant

What about same sex couples? Post menopausal women and infertile people?

Yeah the one time I've taken MAP was when I got stealthed (he took off the condom) and the pharmacist was a complete asshole about it.
A few years later, was on holiday in Australia and helped my friend go for it and a pharmacist refused "on religious grounds". We found a place a few streets over to get it because we were in Melbourne, but in a small town with only one chemist, how is that supposed to work?

Formerbabe

Same sex couples can't reproduce. Did anybody ever explain human reproduction to you? Obviously I am referring to male/female interaction.

Jessica

You clearly missed my point entirely. If you know that contraception can fail, you are aware of the risk of pregnancy, if you accept that risk, and have sex anyway, who is to blame if you get pregnant?

The MAP is just a panicked reaction to poor decision making.

Same sex couples can't reproduce. Did anybody ever explain human reproduction to you? Obviously I am referring to male/female interaction

You said

If you have sex, you're planning to get pregnant

So same sex couples, post menopausal women and infertile people have different motivations for having sex than straight, fertile couples...is that what you're saying?

if you accept that risk, and have sex anyway, who is to blame if you get pregnant

No one is to blame. Why do you feel the need to blame someone?

Yup,I used it twice when condom broke or wasn't on properly. The second time (male) pharmacist made some snarky comment,I think implying I'd been on a drunken one-night stand. I hadn't, I was with bf of six months, but even if I had been on a ONS, it was none of his fucking business and no one's right to judge.

The morality aspect of it is bizarre and archaic. There should be no judgement from the dr or pharmacist, no apology or explanation from the woman, there should be nothing but facts as to the efficacy of the pill and factual replies to any questions. It’s a medical transaction. Can you imagine being congratulated for buying a box of condoms?

I'm not sure sometimes if an age thing comes into play. I had to take it twice once as a student...once because I realised that I had grabbed the empty box of pills, on my way to visit my BF, and only found out later on. I got such a grilling by the doctor, who then sent me to the nurse once he'd signed off who proceeded to also lecture me, and then watched to make sure I took it in front of her.

The second time was with my DH when the condom split, the doctor (same doctor as 8 years previously) laughed, said these things happen and just gave me a prescription.

I am 53. Doubt I'm planning on a pregnancy. My dh is not going to be happy when I tell him that we will have to stop.
What a ridiculous statement.
To answer the question op it's misogyny.

confused yes you certainly are.

I would say if you have (consenting) sex you are planning on having a nice time, not necessarily planning to get pregnant! For goodness sake!

I work hard, enjoy a healthy fun sex life and I rely on and regularly buy condoms; l always have some in my handbag. I am not saying this as a holier than thou comment about the morning after pill. The filthy looks you get from some shop staff at the counter is dreadful, especially if you are not buying anything else as well. It’s all part of the women should not be having sex attitude that still prevails.

I don’t know how a lot of tgese people arrived in this world!

Re my post above. I’m expecting name calling from at least one person.

A coworker said how impractical it was that the MAP makes you so nauseated. I looked at her and said "What are you talking about? I have never felt nauseated after taking the MAP". She, however, claimed that it wasn't only her experience, but also that of several of her friends. Thing is: while I have used the MAP a couple of times it has always been related with having a stomach bug and realizing that my contraceptive pill most likely hadn't stayed inside me long enough to work. We deducted, that the nausea is probably related to the drinking alcohol instead. So saying that the MAP causes nausea is like saying that if you fall asleep with your boots on, you'll wake up with a headache

I hope those of you who have experienced snarky comments from the shop staff have all complained to the shop afterwards.

Mumminmum, I think the dosage of the MAP has changed over the years. It used to be a super-strength dose of oestrogen enough to drop an elephant in its (22-month-long) tracks, and it definitely made me puke my guts up. Neither time I've used it has the puking been related to alcohol, both occasions it was definitely the MAP. (There may also be differences in individual physiology at play too - I've never been able to tolerate contraceptive pills either).

Mumminmum, I think the dosage of the MAP has changed over the years

That's right. Vomiting from it used to be very common but now it's unusual.

@confusedfornow
There is no such thing as an unplanned pregnancy, of you have sex and you get pregnant, you planned it.

Why are you ignoring rape?

I can understand in a way why pharmacists can be funny about it. I know my local has to stay open at Christmas specifically because the rate of requiring the MAP is shocking. One woman came in looking for the MAP quite easy going at 5pm...an hour after the intercourse took place. Some people are really irresponsible.

When I first took the MAP, you had to take two pills 12hrs apart and nausea was definitely at the top of the side effects.

I’ve used it since and it’s now only one pill and doesn’t seem to have the same effect. Thank goodness.

Pets how is that irresponsible? Sounds responsible to me as opposed to hoping for the best. It’s more effective taken sooner. How do you think she should have approached the pharmacy? With guilt and remorse for her slutty behaviour?
If women aren’t able to access MAPs earlier maybe there should be a rethink of how to make them more readily available so as to meet need.

And how would you know those details? Somehow you’ve got involved in gossip about a woman’s private business and are now sharing it on a public forum.

That's a bizarre post Pets. People have sex at all times of day. They have contraceptive failures at all times of day. They do the responsible thing and take steps to ensure this doesn't lead to an unwanted pregnancy at all times of day.