Gendered toys

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My 3 year old has just said to me 'guess what Mummy, I know something - there are girls toys and boys toys' - how depressing.

I've raised her believing that she could play with anything, she has 2 brothers who play with anything. She's recently started nursery and although I know they try and not gender toys, other kids obviously do.

I was a bit gutted when she came out with her favourite colour being pink and liking unicorns etc. but whatever she wants and likes, I'll support but this is depressing how young she is.

I was shocked when DS came back from nursery saying "I played dinosaurs with my friends"
I asked
"Did so-and-so (his fave female friend) play with you?"

His answer
"No girls can't be dinosaurs!"

Me

I just said
Of course they can!

On reflection I should maybe have said something like "how do you think you get dinosaur eggs?"
BUT
he's only 4...

They come out of it. I just kept gently challenging it, I like dinosaurs and I'm a girl! Etc. By the time he was 5 he was through it. In fact now proclaims dark pink is his favourite colour. And loves watching barbie on Netflix which is quite funny actually However I noticed at school they then start playing more with the same sex friends mostly, certainly in y1. Prior to that he had more friends who were girls.

My DD was the same at that age and in pre school. It must be where they are wanting to feel part of a group or some sort of human nature I dunno, I kept reinforcing my statement that it’s ok to like any colour, there is no such thing as boys or girls toys, I bought her a variety of clothes (mostly leggings and tops for comfort). At 5 years old now she says that blue and purple and red are her fave colours, she plays with all the children in her class and will play mums and dads, ride a bike, anything really she wants... I think they need to find who they are and we as the parent influence by being the example and being consistent in our message to them. ( I realise I have a long way ahead as we have many years of growing up to do but basically, don’t fret)

One thing I did do was get a very easy non gendered sewing set when he was 4. He'd been asking to do some when I had been sewing or a bit of crochet. He loved it. Recently I asked him who a very pink stereotypical sewing kit was for and he answered " big boys" seeing through the pink flowery stuff and seeing only the level of difficulty. So just keep gently challenging perceptions without being ott.

After starting nursey my DD refused to wear jeans " coz jeans are boy clothes".
Despite the fact I wore them all the time!

Now she mostly looks like a scruffy goth.

It's very common. Like other posters have said, just point out real life around you that shows the reality of gender expression - girls can like dinosaurs and trains too, boys can like any colour they like - including pink or purple or blue. Toys are just toys, clothes are just clothes.

My DD was fine until school. Then we had a brief pink period, It lasted a year or so. I didn’t make a huge thing of it. The reality is dressing up as Spider-Man (now it could be Captain Marvel) is more fun than lolling about as a generic frilly princess.

DS had a pinkish/lilac top (with airplanes) that he liked. One day he didn't want to wear it, as others in school had said it's for girls. So I bought the same colour sweater to DH - after he wore it to drop DS to school, there have not been any comments and DS is happy to wear the top again. Keep challenging.

I had a mum who also challenged us if we said things were just for boys or girls. She was never into girly things. My sister was more interested in cars and mud. My niece is now interested in video games and loves superheroes. She never played with barbies they didn't appeal to her. I think if you challenge it at home it does make a difference. I was the one who grew up loving pink and sparkle, I still do.

Nothing wrong with pink and sparkle, of course, if this is your choice. Not something you believe is your only choice as a girl.

@dpwm absolutely point out that dinosaurs that lay eggs are mummy dinosaurs and female. That was one of the ways i got around this stupid gendered animal shit .

Even unicorns would need a daddy unicorn. Its just sensible!

Also,yes @tediousnamechange Barbie life in the dreamhouse (not to be confused with any other barbie program) is hysterical.

This is why, in the 21st century, we still need
lettoysbetoys.org.uk

Both my boys came back from nursery when they were 3 and told me “boys don’t cry”. It’s totally shit.

Yes I am challenging at home. If she loved pink because she loved it without the outside influence I'd be more than happy - I don't even care about the pink thing really, it's the insidious nature of the 'that's for girls' that's really caught me off guard.

I like the dinosaurs have a Mummy - we read lots of books and all the dinosaurs ones have mummy dinosaurs so that's a great idea.

Maybe some of you need those hatching dinosaur egg toys?

Or introduce them to this mother...
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maiasaura

It’s a great shame that the Early Learning Centre shops closed down. They sold very well made, educational, fun toys that were completely non gendered. My kids loved them. There was much less stereotyped gender crap 30 years ago - toys were just toys. DD’s best friends all through primary school were boys.

I didn't know ELC had closed, but actually some of their wares used to be ridiculously gendered (the infamous pink globe, gendered dr and nurses outfits....)

Around age 5 my oldest declared he wouldn't eat prawn cocktail crisp anymore (his favourite flavour) as they were "girl" crisps because they are in a pink packet.

Goodness knows where he picked that up from! Luckily it was a short lived phase, though I still call them girl crisps now, and he's 20!

ELC used to be great but then the pink globe etc happened and it all went to shit.