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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

New, confused and don’t know where to start

34 replies

Skittlesss · 16/03/2019 18:26

Hi everyone

I used to think feminists were all about wanting women to be treated better than men and I never used to understand.

I know now that was wrong.

I don’t know if it’s because I’m older, wiser and have a daughter now... or what. I think part of it was a conversation I had on here (on my old username before the recent security breach thing) about trans and people opened my eyes to trans-age and the men who “ID” as women in order to attack them... well I think that was a bit of a turning point.

Now I have been thinking a lot and I think I need to know more about feminism. I don’t think it’s about being treated better than men, I think it’s about being treated equally. I work in a male-dominated environment and see it there a lot.

I don’t know where to start learning more. Can anyone point me in the right direction to any “starter” information, please?

Thanks for reading.

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Skittlesss · 17/03/2019 08:42

Also, has anyone seen the “Terf is a slur” page on Facebook? I found it yesterday and I am pretty confused because the woman who runs it basically just gaslighted or abused everyone questioning her post about trans and compassion.

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Skittlesss · 17/03/2019 09:42

I’m also really confused about why the T is with LGB... I don’t understand why, for example, a lesbian would want to support a man who ids as a woman, but has a penis. Hmm

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endchauvinism · 17/03/2019 10:36

It may be a minority of men who rape and kill but it's a large number of men helping them get away with really bad behavior by the way they all continually downplay the mistreatment of women, ignore it, and try to silence women who bring up real problems that result from living in a patriarchy.

The vast majority of men who think of themselves as equality minded seem very uncomfortable with women actually having equal power, money and status as men, being listened to just as much as men, and being taken as seriously as men are.

sackrifice · 17/03/2019 10:38

I don’t think it’s about being treated better than men, I think it’s about being treated equally.

Being treated equally would mean aiming for women to kill 2-3 men a week. Not good huh?

What feminism is about is the freedom of oppression from patriarchy. So no women being murdered just because they are women. And being free to make whatever decisions about your life and family without expectations being thrust upon you. Being safe to walk the streets at night. Those kind of freedoms.

Horsewithnogreenbobblehat · 17/03/2019 11:40

I’m also really confused about why the T is with LGB...

ME TOO!

Whose brilliant idea was that? Seriously, I suppose is was some bloody American? Anyone know?

NeurotrashWarrior · 17/03/2019 12:39

I’m also really confused about why the T is with LGB...

Yes there aren't many who've been able to work that one out.

If it helps I was blissfully unaware of the real need for feminism (most stuff seemed obvious to me and I thought it was "all sorted out" but also just accepted that was the lot of a woman; my life as a female wasn't as bad as those in other countries) a cascade of pennies dropped when I became a mother and got older. And read more on mumsnet. And realised how many friends had been in abusive relationships. And realised the gender stereotypes are so damaging. And that the T is a men's rights movement. And is a massive safeguarding issue. And everyone is being gaslit and brainwashed.

It's a hard hike to the top of the peak and you won't ever come down.

Skittlesss · 17/03/2019 12:49

I’ve noticed a lot of the higher ranked police officers have put on Twitter that they are Stonewall Allies. “G with the T”.

I didn’t know what this really meant, but a look into it fills me with fear that policy/decision makers are in support of Stonewall’s stance on Trans.

I’m all for human rights, but do they really think it would be ok if a man can just say “I feel like a woman” and then wander into the ladies toilets/changing room? And where do we draw the line?

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Skittlesss · 17/03/2019 12:51

I don’t want to seem like I’m being rude to Trans, but at work I have seen sex offenders suddenly start IDing as women, and that scares me- suddenly they can follow me into the toilets?!

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Prawnofthepatriarchy · 18/03/2019 10:06

You're right to be concerned.

The Fair Play for Women site has explored the numbers and offending behaviour of trans prisoners. Through Freedom of Information requests they established that last year 60 out of a total of 125 trans prisoners (all of whom were male) were sex offenders.

This is a very much larger proportion than in the general prison population. It suggests that either transwomen are more likely to be sex offenders or that sex offenders are identifying as transwomen for reasons of their own.

Or possibly a bit of both. The FBI has said that fetishistic cross dressing is the most common paraphilia found in sex offenders, so there's that. But there are many potential benefits for a sex offender of pretending to identify as a woman. Top of them is surely to gain access to women by being moved to a women's prison. But there are others.

Here's what the British Psychological Society said about the issue in the prison estate:

... psychologists working with forensic patients are aware of a number of cases where men convicted of sex crimes have falsely claimed to be transgender females for a number of reasons:

- As a means of demonstrating reduced risk and so gaining parole;

- As a means of explaining their sex offending aside from sexual gratification (e.g. wanting to ‘examine’ young females);

- Or as a means of separating their sex offending self (male) from their future self (female).

- In rare cases it has been thought that the person is seeking better access to females and young children through presenting in an apparently female way.

Such strategies in no way affect risk and indeed may increase it.

Some people falsely believe that taking oestrogen and blocking androgen in males will reduce risk of offending, however this is not necessarily the case.

Consequently the Society recommends that the Government give appropriate assistance to transgender people within the criminal justice system; while being extremely cautious of setting law and policy such that some of the most dangerous people in society have greater latitude to offend.

On a more practical note, transgender prisoners get more privacy in the showers and maybe a cell of their own. So there are plenty of reasons a prisoner might pretend.

This is one of the concerns women have about Self ID. Even if every man who identifies as a woman were a saint, allowing one group of men into woman only spaces essentially lets them all in. Because predators exploit loopholes.

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