A transman speaks, and speaks sense, on children and dysphoria

[MrsSnippyPants]

quillette.com/2019/03/07/i-have-gender-dysphoria-but-your-trans-identified-child-may-not/

Great article, thanks for posting it

I think articles like that are really important.

Thank you Todd

This is such an excellent piece, thank you Todd.

Another sensible voice - to an extent. But another story that makes me sad for an individual that they didn't grow up in the family I grew up in where I was offered the option of being female without having to love the crap that comes with it and without being expected to give a damn about makeup and hair and "girly stuff" whatever that is. It sounds more like discomfort with gender roles than discomfort with biology from the way they tell it.

INteresting article but I do feel like the focus at the beginning of not liking "girly" things is half the problem in these articles. A child reading it will see it as proof they are a true trans not like the other kids. Quite a lot of Todd's view of their body and childhood reminded me of me.

That's true, but I do get the impression Todd had the freedom to explore and had acceptance as them as a female. The key thing is that they waited to see if anything changed.

I do often wonder though if 18, 21 is still too young due to the fact that the brain is still developing till around 25.

Actually third I read it that this person did grow up in a family that was ok with their daughter not being 'girly', they loved her as she was, allowed her to be a 'tomboy', called her boyish nicknames and were upfront about what puberty would involve. All that and she still wanted to be a man, back in the 90s when it was relatively rare.

I will never really understand gender dysphoria, or why people maim healthy bodies to try and remedy the anguish that goes on underneath but this has to be one of the most sensible things I have read on the subject in a long time. This person knows they are not really a man, knows they are doing potentially life limiting damage to themselves by using testosterone and is asking parents to step back and pause before rushing their child into medicalisation that they might well regret in a few years time.

God knows what we are storing up for our kids in years to come if we allow this to continue unchecked.

But yes turtle I do wonder if they'd had a certain layer of extra experience if they'd have not transitioned.

By that I mean we're there influences outside the family that led to the decision to transition. Eg friends trying to put make up on. Just reject make up. I've never been able to cope with lipstick happily slap too much of the rest on

*were

Perhaps it's just me but I hated being called a tomboy, it seemed to imply that the way I was was not right for a girl and I was being some kind of imitation boy instead. But yes, maybe more society than family.

With all the staying in that youngsters have today, is it possible that they are not able to fully explore who they are by climbing trees, falling in streams etc. and seeing that they remain female nonetheless?

This is a great article advocating a sensible, measured approach. He didn’t start hormone treatment until 21, after a year of living as a man. Still can’t help feeling a bit that sexualisation of women and the sexism and misogyny in society is what drives this, at least, to an extent.