Born again. A fresh start. Wiping the slate clean. A new name.

[MsTiggywinkletoyou]

Some people transition gently - maybe they always looked and dressed androgynous, and had a gender-neutral name like Chris or Daniel/le. Some people transition more dramatically, completely changing both first and last name. The old name becomes the "deadname" and to refer to it - and by extension, everything that that person did - is taboo. They get to start again as their "true self".

Who else gets to start again, and who benefits?

*Adults who find Jesus and profess Christianity - all their sins are washed away - they may receive a new name at baptism
*Likewise those who convert ("revert") to Islam, some of whom choose a new identity (name, clothing, habits which may alienate them from family)
*People joining religious orders (Call the Midwife)
*Ne'er-do-wells who join the Foreign Legion, do the bidding of the French Republic for a few years, and gain a whole new identity, complete with citizenship papers
*Young offenders, on reaching 18
*Those in the witness protection programme - not only victims/survivors but perpetrators too - some scary criminals have grassed up someone scarier
*Any woman who, upon marriage, takes her husband's name (and non-heterosexist versions of this arrangement)

With the deed poll system, anyone can change their name for any or no reason; fine. On the other hand, very few people are allowed to leave their pasts behind; indeed, "allowed" isn't really the word - the state has to facilitate it (up to and including facial surgery for supergrasses). These examples are all different from noms de plume (often not very secret ones, from George Eliot to Posie Parker) or undercover policemen (playing a temporary role, shagging activists and fathering children).

A small number of people change names in an attempt to hide a disreputable past (ranging from a criminal record to repeated bankruptcies). Another small number change their names to mark the fact that they have turned over a new leaf - particularly religious conversions - in that they admit to past errors, and take steps to demonstrate that they have changed.

How does transitioning fit into this framework? I'm not sure, but I suspect there may be some parallels that merit consideration. I throw this out there for the wiser heads of Mumsnet FWR to ponder.

I changed my name in my late teens to reflect what I felt was a new identity. I had to accept, though, that people from my past life, including my family, naturally, still instinctively called me by my old name. Really this did not bother me, though, as I came to recognise the social and functional nature of relationships, and how personal names are very much a part of that. Personally, find that interesting - and feel no need to impose on anyone.

The only people who do this are either those who are hiding a dodgy past, those seeking to enter control or those fleeing violence etc. The last group I have sympathy for but it’s still not positive is it?

Don't agree with that.....

Name changes can be very liberating and reflective of new and emerging identities. It can feel very profound to re-name yourself. Obviously re-naming has social significance. But my feeling is that going forward does not have to mean erasing your past, or your past relationships.

Yes, but I think what is being referred to as negative are the instances of changing your name and erasing the old completely. You can certainly change your name for very positive, life affirming reasons. I did so myself. But they don't usually include erasing the previous identity because you are in fear of your life, or because you are hiding a criminal past etc.

There's a kind of threshold with starting again. It's certainly possible to have a fresh start psychologically, but it isn't possible to actually erase our past. There are limitations.

Back in the day a number of feminists changed their names as a challenge to the patriarchal system of women adopting their husband's name. So there was a lot of ' Sylvia Judithschild ' and Robin Edithsdaughter' with women centring their mother's names. I have no idea whether they sustained these names over the decades. It was seen as a very woman centric act.

Oh, Hmmm, my comment wasn't in the slightest aimed at you, I'm sorry if it seemed that way! It sounds like you absolutely made the right choice for yourself and I'm so happy for you.

I found it difficult to write about RPG there because I got into it after the whole "satanic panic" thing in the US and even now it still has a bit of a whiff of brimstone to some people (cf Harry Potter being banned in some religious schools, etc). Given that the trans phenomenon is also condemned by the same kind of intense religious groups, I didn't really want to link the two things together...but I'm afraid there are similarities in the way certain people create a new persona for themselves. You only have to look at the "route to trans" that some take - a strong interest in gaming/cosplay/anime is often the gateway to some kind of identity change. Not always, of course, but it's a factor we should take account of.