Clodagh's mother and sister

[powershowerforanhour]

www.rte.ie/news/2019/0226/1032852-evil-brutality-and-control-a-family-seeks-answers/

More power to them.

God that's appalling, I do despair of the police services, I can't understand why there would be such a delay. What a terrible loss, that poor family.

Irish Times link

"He started to go to counselling, Ms Coll said “and then an issue arose in the school so his counselling sessions went from dealing with his porn addiction to his issues at school”.

She added that “we do know now that we didn’t at the time that he was dressing in Clodagh’s underwear.

“I mean Clodagh would never ever in her wildest dreams have thought of that, none of us would. We only found that out after the inquest. He said as well when I go back to school it will all blow up. What we don’t know. Was he going to face a grievance? If he was masturbating in the school well at the very least he was guilty of professional misconduct. That was at the very least.”

Yes, he had serious problems - he was going to be exposed as a porn addict, accessing porn in the school where he was deputy head. But he'd been going to counselling sessions! Didn't he listen to any of the advice he would have been given? Or was he not telling the counsellor everything?
Either way, he didn't take the help he was offered. He was totally absorbed in his own problems, his own drama. I'm not totally condemming him, but he didn't have to kill anybody. He had time to think about it - especially before he went upstairs to the children - but he went ahead and did it anyway.
NO WORDS

You should totally condemn this killer gran
Why not

Grumpy gran not killer gran ffs

Read this yesterday. Horrific

every time theres a case like this the media coverage is ‘poor man, he must have been under such strain.’

No consideration for the victims at all. All about finding an excuse for the killer. Makes my blood boil.

And then it always comes out further down the line that the pillar of the community who just snapped narrative is utter horseshit.

The pattern of Hawe's behaviour (porn addiction, the cross-dressing fetish and masturbating at school) had been going on for years.

Reminds me of Christopher Foster, another man who killed his family and then himself. Another pillar of the community who just snapped, apparently.

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/shropshire/7594411.stm

Nope, the man sexually molested his own younger brother and was a bully all his life.

www.shropshirestar.com/news/2011/11/28/brother-of-osbaston-house-killer-says-he-was-sex-abuser/

He didn't just snap. He'd been planning it for months including moving the sitting room furniture so that Clodagh would have her back to him.

Pervert murderer
Yeps but he has been exhumed and cremated

I didn't know that about Christopher Foster, but so.not.surprised...

I don't understand why none of the school's staff have broken cover and quietly had a word in the ear of the family to let them know what was going on at work which led to his actions. Especially in such a small community.

Obviously it's not their responsibility, but if I knew something which would give some answers or relief to Clodagh's mam and sister I'd find it very hard to honour the privacy of her murderer.

Maybe it involved a minor at the school?

And that is why there is such a hush-up about it. In order to protect the privacy of the child.

Hawe seemed to live for a long time with the cross-dressing and the porn addiction.

But the truth of the school situation coming out was enough for him to annihilate his family. Therefore the truth of that situation must have been very bad.

Why hasn't "what was happening at school" been asked as part of the inquest? I don't understand. Surely someone at the school knows and can help answer her family's questions?

I read this yesterday.

Simply can't understand why the school problems are only coming out now.

The article said he'd been in touch with the INTO, presumably about getting representation in a grievance or disciplinary.

So there would have been school staff locally who knew what happened (or whisperings at least), as well as his union. And yet this information still can't be divulged to the family?

I didn’t think the story of what happened could have got any worse, then this... her poor, poor family.

This myth of the decent-bloke-snapped is so hard to shift. So frustrating, because it makes so much LESS sense than the truth- narcissist/bully/abuser goes to the extreme of their already well-established behaviour and does something that, while utterly appalling, can be set in the context of what has gone before. Why would people rather think that this sort of thing just rains down from a clear blue sky with no warning? Why is that more comfortable to believe?

"This myth of the decent-bloke-snapped is so hard to shift."

Luke and Ryan Hart talk about this a lot and are working hard to bust the myth. They talk about how the reality in their situation was a long history of coercive control and abusive behaviour by their father.

Their father killed their mother Claire and sister Charlotte in Spalding in 2016. And then killed himself.

Brothers say their abusive father was like 'a terrorist living in their own home'

www.itv.com/news/anglia/update/2018-11-29/brothers-say-their-abusive-father-was-like-a-terrorist-living-in-their-own-home/

Luke and Ryan have been speaking out and campaigning to raise awareness of coercive control, including taking part in the Walking on Eggshells video which was made in partnership with Mumsnet.

By not digging deeper and releasing the whole story they're giving him what he wanted. He was ashamed and didn't want "the real him" to come out, didn't want to deal with the consequences of his actions. Not telling Clodagh's family what was going on just allows him to continue to control the narrative from his grave. Why does he deserve that courtesy? Why don't they get to know what drove him to kill their daughter and grandchildren?

Absolutely, popchyk- I love what Luke and Ryan do. They are fabulous.

Also totally agree craicdealer. Abuse thrives on secrecy and that murderer has no need for his reputation to be protected, or whatever other idiocy is driving that decision.