Lorena Bobbit

[NeurotrashWarrior]

Sadly it seems to be a very sensationalist take on the story, still focusing too much on the wrong side of it.

I don't actually really want to watch it, I believe her.

www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2019/feb/15/lorena-review-she-cut-off-her-husbands-penis-but-who-was-the-real-victim?CMP=fb_gu

I read this extended interview and nuanced article in the New York Times a few weeks ago by By Amy Chozick. Its worth reading:
'You Know the Lorena Bobbitt Story. But Not All of It.
In the 1990s, she was the topic of tabloid headlines and comedy skits. Now, as a documentary series takes on the story, she opens up about how that one night changed her life.'

www.nytimes.com/2019/01/30/arts/television/lorena-bobbitt-documentary-jordan-peele.html

Guardian Hadley Freeman today, 'The Lorena Bobbitt documentary reveals the weirdness of the 90s'

concludes:
"It’s tempting to think that the lesson of Gallo’s story is that the 90s were a foreign country. I think the lesson is that you don’t notice the water is boiling while you’re still in the pot. Bobbitt’s history of domestic abuse would probably be taken more seriously today, but it is not difficult to imagine today’s teenagers going on to make documentaries about how weird it was in 2019, when people still fretted openly over a female politician’s “likability” (see Elizabeth Warren and Hillary Clinton); when people spewed vicious garbage about Meghan Markle and Serena Williams; when men still felt entitled to tell women how to Do Feminism Right.

Where women were once harangued about getting a man, today they are merely expected to be perfect: strong but not too opinionated; high-achieving but perfectly groomed; successful but not intimidating; feminist but accommodating to the male point of view. Instead, I recommend a different goal: be the person you want to be in the documentary your kids will make in 20 years’ time."

We forget about the string of witnesses at her trial who testified that they had seen bruises on her arms and neck and that she had called 911 repeatedly and that John had bragged to friends about forcing his wife to have sex.
That's really all we need to remember about this case.

Thanks R0. Sadly (or luckily) I was such a sheltered 16 year old I never really thought about why she did it. Goes to show how well oiled the machine was for so long.

Metoo has its faults and people criticise it but at the very least it has encouraged people to speak out far more.

Though, thanks to porn, it seems it's all still going on except through normalising anal and violent sex. How ironic Bobbit went into that industry to hide.

be the person you want to be in the documentary your kids will make in 20 years’ time.

Yep.

I watched the series. I recommend it. While it did seem to spend a lot time focused on John's life, it does do a good job of covering the media climate and attitudes towards women's rights and domestic violence at the time. I'd say that the focus on John's life helps bring into stark relief the level of cultural misogyny through which the events were interpreted.

The work on male violence against women and children is in its infancy. We don’t even have the correct words to describe what Lorena survived. If a State holds a person captive and subjects them to regular beatings and rape, we call that torture. Lorena was held captive in the marriage, not only by her own deeply held conservative and religious beliefs, but by John who told her he would kill her if she left. Lorena did not survive “domestic abuse”, she survived torture. This needs to be recognized, not only socially, but in the law.

@NottonightJosepheen - absolutely, what a prick!

I'm watching it now. It's a bit (hate to say it) 'triggering' because John reminds me of my ex. The way he could so easily manipulate his audience into thinking he was so innocent despite sexually assaulting her behind closed doors. Putting her down, using her. BRAGGING to friends is a huge one. 'I like to make em bleed' - ffs. My ex said that exact thing to a woman he was cheating on me with. She told me later. The way Lorena was demonised as 'volatile' and 'crazy', it's the same old story. John used it all to garner attention as well, great indicator of narcissism.

He took advantage of the fact that she was young and an immigrant who was learning English as well.

Anyway, watching the doco and thought I would see if anyone else was discussing and add my piece.

Repeating that line about him orgasming and her not orgasming is really pissing me off. I can guarantee that was how she interpreted the sexual assault in a moment of pressure and high stress.

A lot of women aren't even sure they've been raped until they seek out advice and support.

The footage of her testifying is excruciating. Textbook severe PTSD. Did they even have that diagnosis back then?
I also think her citizenship status and limited English language further victimized her.
In the end, she has become a powerful advocate for women and I admire how she has reclaimed her life.

The 90s. I remember just screaming inside my head during the OJ Simpson trial and its aftermath where the obsessive focus on race obliterated the fact that this was a horror story of domestic violence and murder. Nicole Brown's story was just lost - her bruises, her terrified phonecalls, her desperate pleas for help and her awful death. I know the LAPD were racist and I know America's toxic racial politics had to be dealt with. But chat show hosts were making jokes about it every night- jokes about a woman being cut so hard she was almost decapitated, her children left motherless. I found it unbearable and I like to think more people would see it that way now.

I've been watching this on a Twitter recommendation. I knew the story and I don't think I was ever consciously dismissing her side as 'crazy' and falling for the woman-shaming as much as is implied in the criticism of the media in the doc etc.

I grew up in another country. I wonder if the coverage was better (more woman-friendly, more objective) than in the US.

I like the fact that the documentary maker got Jordan Peele interested. I find his take in 'Get Out' absolutely fascinating. A proper view of 'checking your privilege' and what colonisation and oppression looks like to the victims. In that perspective, I see a comparison with criticism of 'woman-face'.

I’m only on the first episode but I’m very disturbed by how hysterically funny everyone thinks it is that John had his penis cut off
The surgeon , the police , everyone is laughing ffs. One officer even guffaws when he talks about Bobbit having to “sit and pee, like a woman” for the rest of his life.

I think the hysteria is embarrassment. And of course, male preciousness penis=whole hu-man-ity

Comments like “sexual cripple” from the surgeon. Yes beag I agree Male preciousness indeed.