Anyone for a Liberation Pub?

[FloralBuntingIsObnoxious]

So, I'm on my own for evening because, let's face it, Valentines Day is a bag o shite, and I thought I'd set up a nice open bar.

Any drink available, alcoholic or not, a full range of bar snacks, a decent jukebox and a friendly ambience. A golden banana sits atop a pile of weetabix in the corner, ready to be deployed at the first sign of shenanigans.

What'll it be?

Large G&T and a packet of crisps please.

And I'll sing along to Sunshine on Leith on the Juke box, because that has been going round my head since someone put it on one of the threads a couple of days ago

Marvellous. I'm afraid I have to insist on beermats, though. I've spent at least 15 imaginary minutes polishing the wood on the bar top.

When I was a kid and my dad was still around, we would occasionally go to a pub. My parents would go inside, and my brother and I would have to sit outside on a bench. It's not a great memory because I was often cold, but it was the only time I ever got to eat prawn cocktail crisps which I thought were the food of the gods.

Kids today don't know what they're missing, with their playstations and their smartphones. I remember parties in pubs that were so thick with fag smoke your eyes would water

I would scorn them youngsters, but I am, in fact, typing this on a smart phone, and scanning through Netflix, somewhat disappointed at how few Marvel movies are on there right now.

I really should get my cherry docs on, a black velvet jacket from a charity shop, far too many bangles and some cheap and gritty eyeliner, drink a cider and black and try and impress the house band, tbh.

We used to get to sit in a car in the carpark on holiday and get lemonade and crisps. Bit boring though (apart from the crisps).

I used to go coin fishing in the car park, there was always plenty of change hidden in the gravel.

I remember going to a club in Dudley when I was 15, and walking home to Netherton at about 3 am, pissed as a newt, having to take my docs off because I'd got a blister the size of Wales on the bottom of my foot.

Good times, good times.

I remember 'cider and black' - used to sneak off out of the school production to the local pub (only on refreshments since I wasn't good enough to audition, apaz)

Should have got out the car and looked around for pennies - too good and there were the little ones to look after and 'set an example to'

I'll have a Cosmopolitan and some salt & vinegar chipsticks, please!

Me and the cat are ready to let rip what with Thursday being the new Friday..

Actually, best get some of those meaty stick things for the mog or he'll have my eyes out, stroppy greedy adorable bugger!

Oh - and I got some new DMs today so I expect I'll be hobbling home later as they always rub like fuck the first night!

Yeah, cider and black was what crusties drank way before they invented alcopops. Then it was all Mad Dog 2020.

I think I've actually still got a bit of a hangover from that.

Couldn't drink it now, far too bloody sweet. I need paint stripper dry now.

Gin and bitter lemon, please!

If we're still going tomorrow, I'll make some chocolate caramel vodka.

(Psst. Guess what? I had toast and jam for breakfast this morning. Heresy! Don't tell anyone!)

I used to like salt and vinegar chipsticks. I think they started putting too much vinegar flavouring in them and I moved onto hula hoops. I used to like the M&S ones - good value for money - but they don't seem to do them now. Just many, fancy flavours of ordinary crisps

I think you can't really beat own brand cheap shite crisps. Less pissing about with new formulas and recipes.

I have a friend who works at a place where they mix the flavours for crisps. Strange job, but someone has to do it

Would it be more heresy if I mentioned pig scrats?

(pork scratchings)

I'd wear a jacket with big pockets.

How does cider and black differ from snakebite and black? Can I have a lemon and lime and a packet of dry roast peanuts?

I’ve brought my own beermat from the last pub I visited.

Why would it, Lang. I love pork scratchings, except the very occasional ones that break your teeth.

In fact, I don't really object to many foodstuffs except aubergines and scab sausage.

Cider and black is snakebite as far as I remember. I preferred it to a 'lager top' because I can't abide lager.

I'm not keen on those - I only like the crunchy bits - but I fully support your rights to eat them if you like them.

I have temporarily suspended crisp eating IRL because I haven't learned how to buy a big family bag and not eat the lot.

Snakebite was lager and cider?

Ah yes, I think it was.