Why do men get so much more

[rainbowsRcool]

So far I haven't really noticed much but lately I have been thinking about what women don't get and the abuse they get. For example men get paid more for exactly the same job, they also expect us to make their food and expect us to obey them and I feel they forget sometimes that we have the same rights (supposedly)

Also I feel that whenever I go for my evening run I get beeped at and shouted at.

I just wanted to know if I am not the only one who feels this.

" For example men get paid more for exactly the same job, they also expect us to make their food and expect us to obey them and I feel they forget sometimes that we have the same rights (supposedly)"

Maybe you should get a new job and a new husband.

men get paid more for exactly the same job

That is illegal in the U.K. - if it's happening then it needs to be challenged.

You're not wrong that sexist behaviours still exist, unfortunately.

If your man expects you to obey him and make him his food you do not have to stand for that.

I remember when I made Christmas dinner, went to work that evening, and came home the next day to find the pots still there. My partner at the time was slightly surprised when I threw all the pots in the wheelie bin and returned his Christmas present to buy new ones rather than do the washing up, but after that, he pretty much knew where I stood.

If you love someone, you should be their partner, not their servant. When you have choices to make, make powerful ones.

If you're younger than 35-40 you're statistically more likely to outearn your male peers.

I think both sexes face unique challenges and many people (including women) are fooled by the 'brave face' men put on, which is belied by the fact that 84 kill themselves every week (a statistic which gets much less focus than the two women murdered each week).

Only until you get to 30, Doughnut, then the maternity penalty hits, and incompetent men start getting promoted.

I've read 35-40 in various articles but of course each one produces slightly variable results

I remember a female poster on here saying that you can't 'have it all' with regard to mothering and work. I often reflect that she might be right. You can't be a full time parent and a full time employee and I think that may just be down to biology, just like a man cannot become a woman no matter how unfair he thinks this is.

You can't be a full time parent and a full time employee and I think that may just be down to biology

Women can't be both you mean? What is a 'full time parent'? Do you just mean 'parent'? What is a part-time parent?

Although, I've only ever heard it described as a 'penalty' on here. Most of my female workmates (majority of my dept are female and 25-35) seemed to really enjoy motherhood despite some experiencing greater difficulties with sleep etc.

I think the resentment comes from trying to compare one's situation with that of another whose situation you can only assess from the exterior. Like my male friend (a gay man) who is extremely good looking and often comments that if he were female he'd be able to marry a rich businessman, live in a huge house, and drive around in a range rover without ever working a day.

What is a 'full time parent'? Do you just mean 'parent'? What is a part-time parent?

Have you never heard the expression 'full time mum'? As in a women who doesn't work?

I agree with you OP.

What's been bugging me lately is how much more women need to do to have a fair shot.

We need to overperform to keep up with male colleagues.

We are expected to do more of the domestic load at home, and be better at work.

We need to put in 5 times the effort to look "presentable" at work (DH: shower, teeth, suit, out to work. Me: shower, shave, teeth, blow dry hair, do make up, more faffy clothes, nursery drop, work). Takes more time.

We also bear the full burden of gestating babies, then often feeding them to 6 months.

Then our bodies get destroyed by that and we're knackered but we're still expected to get back into shape, look good and groomed, overperform at work again, etc.

I've recently been wondering, why doesn't society expect men to be the decorative ones? It's easier for them, they don't have much else to do, they are biologically designed to be more athletic than women looking so it's easier for them to get fit, they don't lay down fat as easily, and they don't have to host a baby for 9.5 months and then deliver it with all the havoc that wreaks on your body. They have no excuse for not being in shape and well groomed.

We need to flip the burden of being pleasant on the eye on to men. Give them more of a purpose.

Try being a chubby young bloke out for a run. I guarantee his experience will be worse than yours.

Oh, and you know the pay gap's bullshit, right?

@DoughnutCowboy and haven't you ever been told what an inappropriate label it is, that working doesn't some how make you a part time parent, full time parent is implied, whatever your employment status. Surely it should be just as difficult for men to be "full time parents" and "full time workers" after giving birth, recovery and BF has (if) happened what has biology got to do with it?

many people (including women) are fooled by the 'brave face' men put on, which is belied by the fact that 84 kill themselves every week (a statistic which gets much less focus than the two women murdered each week).

You'd have more of a point if those men were being killed by women.

We talk about the two women a week because men are killing them. It's male violence being taken out on a usually innocent woman, to take her life from her against her wishes.

Men are violent towards men, women, and themselves. Men are the cause of 99% of those deaths. Not women. We need to deal with male violence.

OP, unfortunately your thread is going to get massively derailed now by the usual suspects posting the same old bullshit Whataboutery and denialism. So predictable, unfortunately, happens a lot on threads like this expecially at this time of night.

The pay gap is only bullshit if you compare all men to only women who haven't had children. Men and women are equal* until they decide to have children.

Parenthood is the great unequalizer of the sexes.

• if you also discount the many businesses that have an unlawful policy of not hiring women of childbearing age. Which these days is anywhere between 20-50.

I've recently been wondering, why doesn't society expectmento be the decorative ones?

Despite us men supposedly being more 'visual' (not sure if this is true but I'd say probably) I do think that many female standards are pushed by other women. Men don't generally prefer a size zero over a Scarlet Johanssen etc and studies repeatedly show this. I mean, some women's magazines (the tackier ones) are horrid. All the "Selina Gomez spotted looking haggard" type of publications where they shame other women over their appearance, often on the basis of a couple of bad photos taken whilst they were drunk or maybe just on holiday and without much makeup on.

And whilst women are likely less superficial overall about looks, the ideal male body is much harder to attain as we're expected to have low body fat and also be ripped (two goals which are difficult to simultaneously achieve as the body wants to catabolise muscle when low on fuel, hence the steroid epidemic in young men which is never discussed).

A 'pretty' woman can just be slim and look amazing, but to get a Tom Hardy physique can take literally years without steroids.

Poor men

You'd have more of a point if those men were being killed by women.

Why?

This only makes sense if you're viewing it as a 'battle of the sexes'. A man killing another man is just as bad as a man killing a woman (and the former happens much more often).

Men killing themselves arguably indicates that their lives are deemed 'not worth living' by themselves, which isn't an assumption we can make about a murder victim who may have had a very happy existence.

He seems to be working his way through the tropes, now.

Yup, poor men.... /s

If you can't be a full time parent and a full time employee how do single/lone parents who work full time do it?

"If you can't be a full time parent and a full time employee how do single/lone parents who work full time do it?"

Outsourcing? 😉

If my DP ‘expected me to make his food and obey him’ he wouldn’t be my DP for very long.

Do some women really put up with such nonsense in 2018?

“Have you never heard the expression 'full time mum'? As in a women who doesn't work?”
I’ve heard it. Not from anyone I thought had anything interesting to say, though.