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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Breastfeeding men project

69 replies

Bittermints · 12/02/2019 18:55

There was a report on this on the BBC London news just now. A young female design student has produced a kit to enable men to breastfeed. She did finally mention near the end of the segment that not a single man has yet tested it. She wants to issue men with some sort of pump thing and domperidone, the drug which is banned in the US but which the US transwoman who 'breastfed' a baby last year bought in Canada. (To be fair, I think I read that domperidone is used here to help women with breastfeeding issues, but not men.)

Her rationale is that men often suffer from depression after a baby is born because they feel excluded and one of the things they struggle with is that the mother is feeding the baby and they can't.

My answer to that is Get over it! This is how it is. If the mother wants to breastfeed, your role as her partner and your baby's father is to support the mother. If she doesn't want to breastfeed, then you can get stuck in with bottle feeding. Either way, you can change nappies, bath and dress the baby, take the baby out for a walk, give your partner a chance to sleep, make your partner a cup of tea and a sandwich, do your share of the tidying, cleaning, cooking, shopping, washing up, laundry etc etc etc.

What you don't need to do is take hormones which would be passed on to the baby through this 'milk'. FFS.

OP posts:

OdeToDiazepam · 12/02/2019 18:56

sackrifice · 12/02/2019 18:58

This will all blow over one day, and we can get back to worrying about buttoning our cardigans up the right way again instead of waking up wondering what next batch of woke bullshit will come flying out of someone's arse today.

Fek's sake.

Jinglejanglefish · 12/02/2019 19:00

It made me feel nauseous 🤢

FloralBunting · 12/02/2019 19:00

Yes, saw her on breakfast tv this morning, and the first thing my girls said after she spoke was "But what about the baby?"

Seriously, is everything secondary to men's feelings?

Datun · 12/02/2019 19:00

Her rationale is that men often suffer from depression after a baby is born because they feel excluded and one of the things they struggle with is that the mother is feeding the baby and they can't.

Do they feel excluded from the fact that she is too knackered to change all the bedlinen, make the dinner and hoover the carpet?

Idiocy and fetishism.

Fleetwoodsnack · 12/02/2019 19:04

Not really on topic, but interesting that domperidone is largely banned (one exception and it's not this) in the US. Its given to cancer patients during chemo over here.

It doesn't sound like a good plan, pumping your body full of crap to make it do something it's not meant to

Rogueaccountant · 12/02/2019 19:06

Mad nonsense.

BruceAndNosh · 12/02/2019 19:08

If men want to bond with their baby, I suggest that they do all the nappies

MillytantForceit · 12/02/2019 19:09

On BBC London News just now with her 'chest-pump.'

Why not just make it hollow and fill it with SMA?

53rdWay · 12/02/2019 19:09

This idea that we have to coddle men’s feelings around bonding after we’ve given birth or they’ll ‘feel excluded’ or ‘not get a chance to bond’ is annoying enough as it is. Yes bonding with babies is important - but for women it’s something we have to do, while for men it’s something women have to enable for them? Nah.

ZigZagZombie · 12/02/2019 19:12

I took domperidone to try and give me milk (didn't give birth in UK)... didn't work. So I dread to think exactly HOW much would need to be given to make a man lactate!

NoseringGirl · 12/02/2019 19:13

how about that time and effort goes into supporting women to breastfeed and encouraging their partners to support the mother and bond in the many other ways available to them. This could actually be harmful to the breastfeeding relationship between mother and baby but never mind as long as the man is happy hey?
Oooh this has made me cross!! It's not a solution to paternal mental health issues but it could potentially be a contributor to maternal mental health issues.

Ineedacupofteadesperately · 12/02/2019 19:16

Oh for fucks sake. I have no words for how fucking offensive this is to women who breastfeed and how evil to be so unconcerned about the impact on the baby. And women who breastfeed are not supported properly if at all, constantly undermined by formula companies, , and milk banks aren't funded so that babies who need it get human milk (poorly premature babies whose mums milk hasn't come in, or babies of mums too poorly themselves to breastfeed) and there isn't enough research on drugs in breastmilk so women have to suffer without drugs. But some dads have hurt feelings. Diddums.

Anyway, as a counterbalance to this utter evil willingness to experiment on babies, here's some people who actually care about babies:

humanmilkfoundation.org

HamiltonCork · 12/02/2019 19:16

Do they feel left out of the whole-birth process? Because we could arrange a horse to kick them in the nuts (repeatedly).

Iused2BanOptimist · 12/02/2019 19:17

Guaranteed to cause a parental bust up. When my DD were born I loved breastfeeding and felt so close and possessive and protective of my baby and sorry, hard cheese but I definitely wouldn't share it.

Ineedacupofteadesperately · 12/02/2019 19:17

humanmilkfoundation.org

I'm so angry have lost ability to do links.....

Lymphy · 12/02/2019 19:19

ZigZagZombie totally agree,I had it as well for poor milk supply, it worked for me but it’s only ever useful short term in breast feeding mothers then the effects wear off, can’t see how it will help in men ( I can’t believe I’ve typed that!), it can be prescribed in the UK for breastfeeding but it’s off licence so I can’t imagine a GP happily dishing it out, I had to stamp my feet with the support of the breast feeding midwife to get my GP to give it.

GGMummy3 · 12/02/2019 19:19

I didn't realise it was banned? I was prescribed it in the UK in 2015. Never used it in the end because the side effects put me off. Glad I didn't use it now

Ineedacupofteadesperately · 12/02/2019 19:21

Do they feel left out of the whole-birth process? Because we could arrange a horse to kick them in the nuts (repeatedly)

Ooh yes, or for a doctor to snip the bit between their anus and penis. I bet they feel left out of that bit. Or cut a hole in their abdomen so they can't sit up without pain for weeks afterwards, all while not getting more than 2 hours sleep at a time.

2cats2many · 12/02/2019 19:24

How fucking stoopid.

JellySlice · 12/02/2019 19:25

I would love to post the photo of dh with our newborn dc tucked inside his shirt. The incredulous joy on dh's face. That's bonding.

Or the pic of dh in an armchair, with our dc sprawled fast asleep on his chest. The protective arm lightly curled around the baby, while the other is wrapped around the toddler. That's bonding.

Or the pic (that is only in my mind) of dh puking because he spent the night in our puking child's bed, comforting them, rather than let pregnant me be exposed to D&V. That's bonding.

Or the full fridge/empty laundry basket/freshly baked bread that he regularly left in the house before leaving for work when the dc were little. That's bonding.

I asked him whether he would have wanted to breastfeed the dc to bond with them. His reply: "That's not bonding. That's distorted."

ZigZagZombie · 12/02/2019 19:27

Why is this reminding me of a Robert De Niro scene in "Meet the Fockers"?

GrumpyGran8 · 12/02/2019 19:29

Men cannot breastfeed babies, even with domperidone. Read this doctor's analysis of the last "breastfeeding man" story.

ZigZagZombie · 12/02/2019 19:29

I also want to add that I never bf my children - and yet strangely enough, they are still my children - and I have still bonded with them.

Perhaps I'm biased, but we need to remove the language around this - breastfeeding is not about bonding. It is more than possible to bond with a child without breastfeeding. As Jelly points out above - there are a multitude of ways and it's nonsensical to suggest that the only way a parent can bond with their child is via the medium of breast milk!

This is about bloody men. Again.

Badgerthebodger · 12/02/2019 19:33

I’m just...aghast I suppose. Why in hell would any decent mother or father want to experiment on their baby? Why would any medical professional support it?

I am so fucking sick of shit like this popping up. The avalanche of batshittery pouring down at the moment is directly because of boundaries and safeguarding being weakened. People with bad intentions see the cracks and use the situation to their advantage. Suddenly it’s completely fine to go on the BBC news and suggest experimenting on babies.

I’d love to know this OP: did anyone at the BBC even mention the baby? Did anyone push this young woke idiot on what the impact was on the baby? The breastfeeding relationship with that inconvenient woman in the corner who grew and birthed the baby? What about that poor unfortunate mother, does she get a say or is she expected to smile from the sidelines as her breasts grow rock hard and leak milk. Proper, wonderful, magic milk that is specifically designed to feed that baby. I am so angry I could cry.

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