1 year old body autonomy

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I am very keen on teaching my 1 year old daughter body autonomy

I have tried to make sure her wishes are respected around going to people, hugging kissing etc (much to my MIL annoyance - she wants to hold, hug kiss her all the time)
My little girl gives very obvious cues to what she likes and doesn't l. And is very affectionate on her own terms.

What I want to ask though is how do I respect her body autonomy when it comes to her not wanting to be changed, dressed, washed, lay down to sleep?
At the moment I take a break, give her a cuddle and calm her before continuing
But sometimes I've to go ahead while she very obviously doesn't want it

We try to give her freedom where possible, in play, feeding etc

But it sometimes feels like I'm contradicting myself telling her she gets to choose what to do when I say so

Am I over thinking this?
Will giving her autonomy over as much as I can in her life be enough?

There’s a limit, when autonomy clashes with care. For example they may not want to be strapped in a car seat but you’d be negligent not to.

Things like not having to kiss relatives or be tickled are fine. Things like not wanting to have teeth brushed? Well tough on that - that’s where you use distraction and fun but the teeth have to be brushed.

Too much choice isn’t slways a good thing at this age - the thing is choice within a boundary. As they get older that boundary expands, when they’re tiny, it’s narrow. The blue jumper or the green one, not ‘washed or not.’

Yes you're over thinking. Her bodily autonomy also has to exist in the context of her being a tiny child with no idea what's safe, healthy, appropriate.

So, you have to change a soiled nappy promptly, otherwise it will cause painful nappy rash. She won't understand that, so you have to balance her bodily autonomy against what you know as an adult. You are responsible for her health and safety, until she's old enough to understand.

She can have choices (from a couple of reasonable options offered by you) where there isn't any issue of safety, health etc. Those situations will expand as she gets older.

The need to be parented and cared for comes before her need to body autonomy especially when too young to understand the consequences of not doing so.

As others have said, the difference is that the things you're talking about are things that when older, she will be doing for herself - personal care which needs to be done, and while she is unable to do it, you, or another trusted adult does this for her.

Whereas tickling, hugging and kissing - these aren't personal care, these are interactions which should always be with consent.

Thank you
I kinda knew I was over thinking it

When I try to explain say why I won't force her to go to MIL, my Aunty etc it sometimes feels like I contradict myself a few mins later by forcing her nappy change
But you are right as she gets older boundaries will grow and she will gradually have more and more control

I've taught DD to high five and fist bump and encourage that. Adults love it.

I also explain while I'm nappy changing and teeth brushing. I pretty much say she has to be clean so she doesn't get sore. If she's ever fallen over and grazed her knee I've always referred to it as sore to help it sink in so she knows what I mean by sore. She's almost 3 but I've always done it and I think talking calmly works with her.

I let her pick her clothes now and tell her she has to get dressed because we need to go out. She's often naked indoors I've given up on that and keep the room warm.

I get what you are talking about but I think you are overthinking it. Roll on a few years ..... how much autonomy are you going to allow her? Will you allow her not to wear school uniform? Will you allow her to go out dressed in skimpy clothes in the middle of winter or wear her best shoes to go play in the garden and ruin them? My youngest is 'choosing ' not to have a bath at the moment but she gets sore down below if she doesn't wash!
I've had all these conversations with my older girls. They still need guidance for quite some time to help them make the right choices. I'm not prepared to let my youngest go without a bath as she will end up smelling and very sore and i would be negligent to allow that to happen. Sometimes I allow her the choices of bath tonight or shower in the morning but according to her i'm a meanie mummy!!