The term 'ally'

[JellySlice]

I'm not comfortable with it. An ally may be someone with a common cause, but may also be someone who's just going along with a point of view that they have not truly considered.

Glinner, for example, is often termed an ally. But I think that does him a dis-service. He is a gender-critical man, someone who has thought hard about the subject and stands up for what he believes in.

And then there groups that have diametrically opposing views, yet agree on the gender critical aspects. Are we allies? Or is the relevant aspect of our relationship the fact that we are gender critical?

Just feels like emotional black mail when I hear it used by TRAs..guilt trip women into feeling that if they don't go along with all TRA demands then they 'literally' want transgender people dead.

Also irks me because it's having to put a label on every-bloody-one. God forbid you just have your own critical thoughts and don't have to label yourself as belonging to category.

It’s like cosying up the the biggest bitchy bully at school.

Yes, that, too.

Which is another reason why I don't like describing GC people as feminist allies.

It's not about allies and taking sides. It's about rational thought, it's about mutual respect and compassion.

Yes, so much this. So much of the time, 'ally' is just codeword for 'Yes men' (well, mostly yeswomen). It's hard to reconcile the fact that so many 'trans allies' see themselves as genuinely helping minority groups with their eager willingness to ignore the erasure of women and lesbians that follow from their ideology.

When I see an email footnote with such wording (and ikkle rainbows) I feel the urge to throw my computer. It’s just so... well ‘men’ isn’t it?

Who gave a flying toss when it was stand up to bigotry, sexism, racism... we all know what ‘be kind’ and ‘no bigotry here’ (as the sign in my pool changing room says) actually means don’t we? Funnily enough there aren’t any ‘no bigotry’ signs in the men’s (I asked DH).

It’s flavour of the month - and this will change when the gaggle decides it isn’t trendy/sexy/fabulous enough for them. I hope to god that’s before any more damage has been done or laws amendmended.

Ally just make me think of grunt work and exploitation.

It’s just another way of entrenching the “Youre either with us or against us” narrative, especially on the TRA/LGBTQ side of things.

Hate the term.

You don’t need to make alliances with people you trust...

This twitter thread was a shocking lesson in the socialisation of young (and a few older) women. Self described 'cis' women falling over themselves to validate and elevate a known (and self admitted) rapist above themselves and other women.

The mental gymnastics a person must go through to convince themselves a man who has used his penis to rape is a woman is mind boggling.

twitter.com/EliErlick/status/1088244394279366656

Most of the time, when I see the word "ally" used, it's as a means of control or to signal virtue.

Hate the word. Now it's even being included in training 'How to be an LBGT ally' Presumably you get a certificate!

I think they actually mean ‘T’ ally. My sister needs no bloody ally (she’s a grown up Big Girl).

There are so many articles on 'how to be a good ally '. Basically be supportive and available, never question anything, take a back seat, shut up when the person you're allying with is talking, put yourself out on their behalf but don't expect anything in return, accept your ignorance, own your privilege, be a doormat.

Can we please avoid using it wrt to gender critical men?

Because these little wallflowers need protecting. Call me ma’am my arse.

While ally is a sucky term, it does resonate with the term ‘suffragette’. We are behaving like suffagists but there is a chance still that the battle will heat up. We need to know who we can rely upon. Note that no one calls themselves the Axis.

I appreciate genuine support as long as the they know when to stay in their own lanes. Watching the LGB movement become what it currently is today has shown me that sometimes the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. Now these 'allies' have colonized our spaces so thoroughly that we are losing them all under threat of violence.

What sort of allies, and how!!??

Just to say, though, that I am standing and sitting, and indeed skipping, with born women!

Posie P is playing a blinder here!

Talking to a variety of women, in a manner that has pissed off certain men!!

I’ve just had a thought. The allies are for trans people (pretty much so). So it’s actually allying with loud, aggressive ‘call me ma’am’ men against most women and a number of men.

I agree. Hate the term (there's no war here).
At work there are workshops on how to be a LGBT+ ally and I really, really want to protect the hardwon rights of the LGB (while not belonging to that particular group) but it's the rest of the alphabet soup that's annoying me.

Pic attached is from that Twitter thread.

I guess I'm not a woman anymore. Can I still post?

Oh, I was using the words feminist allies yesterday, I thought it was apt in that particular rabbit hole.
I was using it to describe men who are
"I don't consider myself a feminist, but" group.

Since it appears that many men do not actually want to call themselves feminists, Glinner being one of them.
(See his interview the other day with MM where he corrected her on this point).

I'm not sure now if this is a problem or not.

People with a protected characteristic often say that people who do not have that characteristic can be allies.
I think part of the problem with the word is that it has been co-opted by people who use it as a shield for shitty behaviour. I can't see how to reclaim it.

I’d tell anyone asking me to go on a workshop to fuck off. Where were they on the 1980s when I got bullied for having a gay sibling? Oh but she is female so I guess that’s all ok then...