Domestic emotional verbal abuse

[Leelu1]

My partner and I split up over two years ago due to verbal abuse that heightened after our baby was born. I frequently get verbal abuse to this day. Since we split up he would see our daughter every month quite happily, then suddenly will drop her like a hot brick. Sending me abuse such as recently, 'I want nothing to do with our dd, you used me for a baby and then left me. I want you to suffer and I will make your life miserable in punishment'. He resents our daughter but says he will see her but will not feel love like he does his other children and can not guarantee he won't treat her differently. With his current state, wanting to punish me and saying he resents our daughter, I have said that he shouldn't see her until such a day that he does want a relationship with her. Picking her up and then dropping her for months at a time, is abuse alone. He knows by doing this it will cause me upset. Am I in the wrong to prevent him from seeing her. If it came to court, I wondered if this would go against me or if I'm being too harsh by preventing him from seeing her. She loves him dearly. It's him saying he can't love her as he feels I used him!

Picking her up and then dropping her for months at a time, is abuse alone.

I think you've answered your own question there...
You're absolutely right to say he won't see her until he stops using contact with your dd as a weapon to hurt you rather than an opportunity to build a positive relationship with her.

You're acting with the best interests of your child in mind (which is more than her father's doing) and, if it ever came to court, that's a very valid argument to have. Just keep a log of when he's seen her, when he hasn't shown up and things he's said. Keep it factual (no emotion at all) with times and dates.

It's often better to have no dad figure at all than have a dad who doesn't value his children for who they are because that can end up creating insecurities and low self esteem in the children that last well into adulthood.