feminine gender performance: a massive time sink

[learieonthewildmoor]

I retired from work last year and have been having fun playing around with lipstick and nail polish, things I never had time/priority for when I worked. I also stopped dye-ing my hair and have grown it long.

To keep my hair from going frizzy and brittle I use 4 hair products - shampoo, conditioner, oil, spray. Nail polish? A long prep time and then needing to remove it fairly quickly - a few days- because it's chipped. Takes a significant amount of time. Lipstick is not hard, but if I worried about re-application, well, energy spent thinking about my lipstick and the time spent re-applying rather than inter-acting with other people. The amount of time I spend to achieve what I perceive is the socially desired effect is ridiculous.

I am thinking about the painted images of women throughout the ages. Skinny women = poor: Rich woman= fat. (Now that has changed: now rich women are the ones who have the time and money to make themselves skinny.) Rich women had elaborate hairstyles and clothing that could only be achieved because they had slaves/servants to do them.
So many young women talk about the time they spend getting ready for work, making themselves "presentable"- and then face the criticism of being too over-done. Even though women have achieved the right to work and own property, "women as objects" has not died.
I have been boggled by Korean "beauty" regimes involving 24 different potions and creams, and not at all surprised to see Korean women coming out and calling bullshit, in a massively misogynistic culture.
Make-up etc is marketed as "fun" - and I admit I see the appeal of that- looking after yourself, taking care of yourself. I used to think the main purpose was to keep women as consumers: but now I think keeping women insecure and unable to compete with men in the workplace/society is the real impetus behind it.

I definitely think it’s something worth thinking about and being aware of what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. I don’t judge women for wearing makeup because it does make life easier in some ways in terms of avoiding negative reactions for not conforming to certain standards.

But at the end of the day it is yet another tool of the patriarchy- it is, undoubtedly. And I do think it needs to be looked at. I saw Julie Bindel’s article on it. Of course it enraged all my favourite woke idiots on twitter who claim to be feminists but are as far from it as you can imagine. Sudden barrage of tweets about how wearing makeup is a feminist choice. No it freaking isn’t. Wear it- but to say anything is feminist just because it’s a woman doing it is bull.

I very rarely wear makeup at the moment due to allergies, but I don't do most of the other time consuming things so I actually slightly miss it - just as I'd miss, say, a craft I couldn't do when I felt like it.
But when I resent the time spent in the hairdresser's chair I just remind myself of the time my Black friends spend.

I used make-up a few times in my teens and twenties, then forgot all about it when I had kids.
I'm now a wrinkly old bat and wonder, now & again, if I'd look better with some make-up on.
But I always instantly abandon the idea because I know I'd just feel weird with stuff on my face, I'd probably mess it up accidentally and I'd worry that I was looking awful anyway.
It's much better to just accept the natural look, however wrinkly. At least it's real.

I believe that make-up is part of making women feel they are not good enough without adjustment, correction, enhancement, concealment. That erodes women's confidence and makes them less effective than they could be, in every area of their lives.

Potplant2, why is it not professional enough just to look clean and tidy?

You can only think so many thoughts at once. If you have a lot of beauty/other mental Labour it’s going to use a greater proportion of that time up

How patronising. How many times have I seen on here the comment about how it's possible to think of 2 things at the same time.

Mixed feelings about this. I bloody love clothes, and anyone who says I’m wasting brain space thinking about what to wear can quite frankly fuck right of

No mixed feelings here but otherwise yes bore off with telling me I'm wasting brain space.

banivani carolinepooter Parthenope Not sure what you like to accompany your reading so trying to cover all bases! Love the Harriet Vane & Sayers posts which have made a good thread even better. Learie Have noticed how we are all expected to use so many products now - extra profits for cosmetic companies but also makes us feel a failure if we aren’t doing contouring and smokey eyes etc

parthenope Absolutely, it's always easy for someone who is conventionally attractive to say that no beauty routines are necessary ;)

I'd like to qualify that I enjoy pretty things and clothes and so on and of course we are capable of thinking of several things at once. But if we look at the amount of grooming a woman nowadays seems to "need" to do it looks like an ever-growing list. My favourite example are eyebrows. 20 years ago we barely thought about them, now they alone have their own Instagram accounts and 20 products. ;) When we level up and master all existing beauty routines someone additional comes along - never replacing, always adding. I def thinks it's worth having a mindful discussion of what we're doing and why, and if we feel free to say feck it all anyway and just stop or if that will invite some sort of backlash in our professional or personal lives that keeps us doing it.

If women are gullible enough to fall for this kind of thing/do it because they want it then sure that’s their business? Also worth pointing out that you are doing something wrong revlipstick and nail polish. Good nail polish will last a week and good lipstick will last the day.

it's always easy for someone who is conventionally attractive to say that no beauty routines are necessary ;)

I am in no way conventionally attractive. Simply CBA. No interest whatsoever beyond maintaining hygiene. But I don't knock women for taking an interest in beauty and fashion if that's what they like. What I object to is society expecting all women to participate in a hobby that not everybody enjoys.

It's as unreasonable as expecting all women to collect stamps and shaming or excluding them if they don't.

Nettie, thanks for cake! Banivani, I see so many women with sluglike eyebrows!!

Of course there is nothing wrong with make up per se, only if it is seen as somehow obligatory for women. We should have freedom to paint or not. And so should men! It is such a trivial issue, but people attach ludicrous significance to it. I never seem to see, shall we say, transformed persons without shovelfuls of make up. It has somehow become an integral part of being female which of course is grade A bullshit.

Grandma, me too....gave it up years ago but am sure I would frighten the horses with or without!

I think I agree with that. I don't think it's make up in itself that's the problem but the way it's used to police how women should look. I too have often raised my unthreaded eyebrows at the ever lengthening list of 'essential' routines, but I still find some elements can be good fun e.g. drawing a big slash of colour on my mouth makes me smile.

And as regards judging, let's not pretend it all goes one way. I've had plenty of 'another outfit Flo?' comments in my time.

Indeed Flo, it's fun to play with clothes and make up. My teen grandson is going through a David Bowie phase and I think he looks fab!

It is incredibly serious that our worth is determined on our appearance and that standards for men and women are so different. :(

I’m very thankful that my job as a hospital doctor meant going to work in jeans and a t shirt, changing into theatre scrubs and clogs and putting on a paper hat and face mask!
No make up, no wasting time choosing “outfits”, no employer criticising lack of make up and heels as “unprofessional”. No wasted time or effort in the morning.
I must have saved a small fortune on make up (and the inevitable chemical removers and cleansers) over the past 40 years. I’ve never worn that crap, even on nights out. Nobody has yet fainted in horror at the sight of my bare face!

There's a Korean radfem "off the corset" movement that is developing, that is trying to address this:

koreanradfem.blogspot.com/2019/01/off-corset-movement-1-whats-happening.html

There’s nothing wrong with liking clothes or enjoying makeup. There’s nothing wrong with just maintaining ‘clean and tidy and no more’ either.

The problem is where women are expected to spend so much more time/effort on appearance when men are not. I was once at a conference (clinical research) where a Male senior person had a go at a female attendee because she ‘wasn’t wearing high heels.’ I told him I’d wear heels when he did, and I’d look forward to him being an effective speaker after 18hoirs on his feet in high heels.

That’s the kind of shit that needs to stop. If an individual woman wants to or enjoys the makeup/clothes thing then that’s fine. Being forced to wear heels or expected to be heavily made up is not.

The maintenance and expectations have increased alarmingly, as has the expense and time. I like makeup but it's pretty basic - bit of foundation and mascara and a cheerful dab of red or pink lipstick, which takes about 5 minutes. I am happy to not wear it too. The things that young women are expected to do now are amazing...false eyelashes, microbladed brows, full body waxing, hair extensions, tanning, gel nails, just looks exhausting!

I suspect it’s the effect of social media and selfies that is driving these poor young women into competitive make up routines. When I was their age nobody was taking photos of us - it required expensive Kodak film and a wait for lab processing. Most teenagers couldn’t afford a bag load of expensive cosmetics then anyway. We were much freer to be our own spotty little selves and just have fun!