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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

We Can't Consent to This: all the "sex game gone wrong" defences

134 replies

WomanDaresTo · 24/12/2018 08:12

Hello - doing this under my semi-public NC.

On FWR we've been grimly collating the stories of women killed by men who claim they've died in a "sex game gone wrong". Given Natalie Connolly's killer's sentence has received rightful outrage, and given even the excellent Harriet Harman thinks this is an unusual defence, I thought it time to pull them together in one place:

www.wecantconsenttothis.uk

It's not a fun read, of course. I know it's not also complete - will keep updating but do of course let me know of other cases, and mistakes.

But perhaps we can help get to a place where women are not deemed to have consented to bodily harm, or to death.

Flowers and unmumsnetty Christmassy hugs to the families and friends of these women.

if anyone wants me I'll be having a humungous Gin

OP posts:
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applestrudels · 17/01/2019 10:09

If you're thinking of the same case I am, that "erotic cannibalism" was in Germany. But I don't see why the same logic wouldn't apply here. That case was quite disturbing because it was 100% pre-meditated, they had reams and reams of internet conversations between the two of them planning the act, and there was no doubt whatsoever that the victim 100% wanted to be eaten - and yet the court said no, you can't consent to be murdered and eaten.

I think you're right, I think porn is just addling people's heads.

AngryAttackKittens · 17/01/2019 10:10

Yes, I think it was in Germany. Can't remember the killer/cannibal's name.

Ereshkigal · 17/01/2019 13:20

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armin_Meiwes

staydazzling · 17/01/2019 13:21

i really hope this gets traction OP xx

Ereshkigal · 17/01/2019 13:25

I remember arguing with people about it that although he consented to be killed there was no reliable way of knowing whether he freely consented or changed his mind at the end.

I'm quite comfortable with people going to prison for murder even though the victim apparently "consented" to being killed in a sadomasochistic act. I don't see it as a terrible miscarriage of justice that this man got a life sentence and that people know that they can't kill people with impunity.

BernardBlacksWineIcelolly · 17/01/2019 13:33

yes. it's very unlikely that as the act was being done, the victim still consented

and regardless, murder is illegal. the feelings of the victim don't change that

WomanDaresTo · 18/01/2019 15:28

Well done vipers:

www.swlondoner.co.uk/we-cant-consent-to-this-murder-defence/

OP posts:
BernardBlacksWineIcelolly · 18/01/2019 15:58

that's brilliant

such a constructive and necessary campaign

feministfairy · 18/01/2019 16:10

An excellent campaign - and Mumsnet at the centre of it I see. Have MNHQ indicated whether they'll play an active part?

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