Comedian refuses to sign "behaviour agreement" before performing at university

[Dermymc]

www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-46541002

"Universities used to be all about that, but now it seems they're places where students are being taught to be woke. I think it reflects a broader issue, where increasingly there are people who value safety, or what they perceive to be safety."

Even if they got up and modelled a few balloons there would be bowls of outrage.

Students seem a bit weird these days.

"I just think it reflects an attitude among a group of people, people at university particularly, where it seems that they have become places of indoctrination rather than learning," he said.

It's looking that way.

One on the isms on the list is anti-atheism.

Who'd have thought comedians would be the voice of reason on this?

It's historically always been important for comedians to fight against censorship. To fight for freedom of speech which is not available to people in many countries. But we think of oppressive regimes who do that. We don't normally think of our own country.

The higher profile comedian that supports freedom of speech the better.

SOAS, though. It's pretty much the definition of the lunatic fringe. I was frankly amazed that the "cuddly Gulag full of joy" stuff was Goldsmiths, because I automatically assumed it would be SOAS.

The useful thing about having institutions like SOAS (the place where the lecturers are so stupid that they go on field trips to defend their genocide denial and get shot dead for their pains) is that all the crazies are kept in one place where we can see them.

The intellectual standards of SOAS can be seen here, where they now use data protection to conceal the identities of the examiners who passed a thesis which had been repeatedly rejected.

Must admit I lost a few minutes wondering what you COULD perform that was completely offence and trigger free for the poor little souls. Balloon animals did cross my mind but omg the latex and possible bangs and insulting animals?! Silent disco is all I can come up with. Provide everyone with earphones, a long list of musical choices on an ethically sourced ipod and they can all exist in their own little haze of me, me, me.

Knock knock jokes?

Oh wait... that would discriminate against the vertically challenged who couldn't reach the door knocker - or the those without upper limbs. Thinking about it, what if the person on the other side of the door was deaf and couldn't hear the knock.... or the person knocking was without speech.

Actually - isn't knocking on a door committing a literal violent act?

Shit - this is a veritable minefield......
....my brain hurts, I need my safe space!

The document is comical, itself. Can you name any comedian who'd be able to do a gig that kept to those guidelines?

Maybe they should just hire a children’s party entertainer - surely they must bw offence free?

I’m assuming that even had this gig gone ahead, there would have been no applause, merely the waving of jazz hands?

It’s no wonder that politics is in the poor state it is, when it appears that people under 30 are concerned with nothing but the most masturbatory and pointless posturing.

The document is comical, itself. Can you name any comedian who'd be able to do a gig that kept to those guidelines?

Any comedian worth their salt would be able to come up with a comedy act based on the document itself. It’s half way there already.

It seems the fashion for universities to have safe spaces. They should be hotly debating and arguing and learning how to deal with controversy. Comedy is supposed to knock someone, that's how it works. Misogyny and racism aside, some edgy should be allowed, The list is ridiculous. These students are snowflakes. God help them when they grow up and join the real world.

My son's university student union statement (not one of the worst offenders) explains its no platforming stance is due to that educational establishment being "your home" which is a massive load of bollocks to start with.

Not for the first time in recent times, I'm laughing as I read this but it's that or weep. What are we doing to our universities? What on earth is this generation going to be like in adult life? Actually, I know the answer to that. Hardly any students actually sign up to rubbish like this, so most graduates are going to be much like previous generations. What concerns me is that the ones who want safe spaces, complain about lecturers trying to expose them to challenging ideas, picket women's meetings and so on are also the ones who will start trying to climb the greasy pole of politics on graduation.

Ok folks for tonight’s entertainment - we are going to show you all how to stroke kittens! And for those who may be triggered by the kittens there’s a nice, dark padded room with whale song just next to the quinoa n avocado stall.’

Gordon fucking Bennett. What a time it is to be alive, eh?

I went to university in the late 70s. The student union spent its time debating and acting on international issues like Palestine, national issues like poverty and student issues like food and accommodation costs, etc.

We went and had a shout (outside, as he arrived) at Sir Keith Joseph when he came to address the Tory group (because of some intemperate remarks he'd made about "social classes 4 and 5"), but we at no point tried to stop him speaking to them.

I don't recall any bollocks about people feeling 'unsafe' or having hurty feelz.

True. Didn’t like something - debate or leave. Not curl up like a hedgehog and cry about your human rights.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD - we are going to show you all how to stroke kittens!

Omg no! Stroking kittens is abuse! You're violating them! www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2448932/Want-cat-affection-DONT-stroke-Our-feline-friends-stressed-touched.html

SOAS certainly have form. They have a "Womxn's Network" for a start.

I love that you can't be anti-atheist. That would make you an
anti-atheist-ist.

I am totally against anti-atheism-ism

I read that SOAS Student Union are saying this behavioural contract thing had nothing to do with them - it was the 'UNICEF on campus group' who were "too zealous interpreting charity guidelines". If anyone has come across the Titania McGrath spoof account, there are some funny threads on this including her contribution to #wokecomedy:
Knock knock!
Who's there?
David
What are your pronouns?

Our eldest has just started at Leeds University and, I swear, if he comes home for the holidays spouting woke bunkum like this, I’ll cancel Christmas and pack him off to the gulags.

The old-fashioned kind of gulag, not Goldsmith’s version obviously...

They made Owen Jones try and defend this on Jeremy Vine this morning. He sat there and said "I did say I didn't want to do this one and moan moan you made me." I did some LOLing.

You can see why my kids avoided socialising on campus while at uni and went into city/town instead, can't you?

Langcleg pray for me that my son is as sensible as your offspring!

Aww, go on, the model gulags have barbed wire baseball bats painted in pretty colours. The machine guns have probably got cute little crocheted hats.

The brief was 'joyful'. The entertainment must be joyfilling.

Since cake and chocolate and gin are all definitely right out since the fights over gluten free/dairy free/ fair trade/ nut free/ egg free are just too exhausting to think about, I'm going to suggest carrot sticks and a reading of Room on the Broom.