This Facebook post gives me the rage...

[CrimpBrunette]

But I seem to be the only one as I can't find one negative post on it! "Women ask for a provider", wtf? Am I the only one who finds this ridiculously outdated? Shared by one of my friends on Facebook.

What do you think of the friend who shared it? Maybe time for a quiet cull? I would be beyond shocked if anyone I'm friends with shared that drivel unless they were doing it to take the piss out of it.

It is an incredibly patronizing and self-righteous post, agreed. I do think that plenty of men believe this though. I had a few dates with a guy once who had chosen his whole career path based on being able to provide for his future wife and children and had got to late-30s, flushed with cash and was shocked to find this wasn't the passport to happiness he had expected. He was a nice guy (not for me) and he felt he'd been sold a lie - working his arse off for years and ending up single.

My DH I think genuinely feels that work is a bit of a con. He does work but is quite happy for me to be the main breadwinner.

where we wishes we was my Precious.

There fixed it.

Very outdated thinking there. Men are the provider and need to be fawned on for that providing, women know your place.

Whoever wrote it needs a slap alright. Most all of FB gives me the fecken heave though so it's about right.

Ffs we all do things we don’t like for the benefit of the people we love. It’s part of life. Perhaps all these men that hate their corporate careers could quit, give their high paying roles to women and reap the rewards of a society with a reduced pay gap? What’s that I hear, is it tumbleweed?

Scott, if your mates aren't 'allowed' to leave their jobs then they are in abusive relationships and need to be big boys now and leave.

I think their comments were slightly tongue in cheek, but the reality is that they put their family's needs above their own individual needs, as many men do. That's could also be seen as 'being a big boy.'

Haven’t seen it, must be my choice if Fb friends

We wishes he was home
Who would share such twaddle
Can you post something about it being 2018 and you would rather have a relationship as equals

"Where we wishes we was". We wishes you was at school learning the basics of grammar, we does.

Surely many folk do that, male or female! It's laughable that some need to brag about it on Facebook for some sort of weird validation, most just get on with it as shock horror, most people need to work 😂

Beanbag, I definitely feel a cull coming on

but the reality is that they put their family's needs above their own individual needs, as many men do

Well as many parents do at any rate

On the subject of hobbies i know a couple were the man works very hard in his job and is hardly home during the week

He isnt at home on most weekends either as he works hard on his hobby

Having been a SAHM/student for a while, DH main wage-earner, I’ve recently got a job (starting in January!). The plan, agreed with both employers, is that both DH and I will drop to part-time next summer and share childcare/wife work etc.

This came up in conversation at a recent party we went to (friends, friends of friends, people we’d never met before). The consensus was that this wouldn’t work for many of them because 2 part-time wages wouldn’t be the same as 1 corporate big bucks. Fair enough.

However, as more drink was taken, more and more (all) of the corporate-big-bucks partners admitted that, even if the wages worked, they wouldn’t follow our route. Mainly because they actually couldn’t imagine anything worse than taking on a share of the childcare (as opposed to Disney-dad-ing) and household management. Corporate-big-bucks jobs gave them an excuse.

Dh would have loved to be at home with the children

If our wages had been more equal we may well have gone that route

But even 20 years ago he earned double what i did

And now his wgaes have overtaken that

It's bullshit.

There is lots of this twee, regressive, stand by your man, his happiness is most important, rubbish out there.

Best to ignore.

Yes exactly. Lots of people and women work hard for their families. Although reading MN you realise that there are huge numbers of men do not care about their families or their finances at all.

My examples applied to a particular hobby which often draws from a particular demographic since it is expensive and I have not seen it replicated to the same extent anywhere else. Certainly not in the majority of people.

I had a few dates with a guy once who had chosen his whole career path based on being able to provide for his future wife and children and had got to late-30s, flushed with cash and was shocked to find this wasn't the passport to happiness he had expected. He was a nice guy (not for me) and he felt he'd been sold a lie - working his arse off for years and ending up single.

I can see how this happens. It must be eye opening for a man when he has thought he will be able to 'buy' a wife with his financial prowess alone, because he has bought into or been brainwashed with that all "women are greedy and shallow" capitalist misogyny.

Hence my comment about some men in my examples not seeing women as real complex individual people, just presuming that all women want to be 1950s style middle class housewives who are just waiting to grab all the money and spend spend spend. That belief is offensive to women and degrading to everyone.

Does this idiot think only men work long hours? I did 100 hours a week as a junior doctor, and aftef DH died I was working full time AND bringing up two babies single handed. I didn’t need to boast on bloody Facebook or expect some female slave to welcome me home!

It reminds you of that Chris Rock sketch 'I take care of my kids' 'You are supposed to you dumb motherfucker!' Honestly, working to support your children is just being a half decent human being 101 - how come some men expect cookies and blow jobs for doing what women just get on and do every day?

No whining over here. From your responses to me on other threads it seems to be you who can't take it when somebody disagrees with the mumsnet matriarchy.
I stand by my (truthful) statement that many of my male friends do jobs they don't really enjoy to provide for their families. In spite of what people like you would like, men are still the vast majority of breadwinner in this country in situations where only one partner works full time.
Actually ScottCheggJnr I wasn't aware of you disagreeing with anything I've said. I assert that many employers have far more opportunity to make high quality well paid part time work available to both sexes than they realise and that I do my part to facilitate this. Given what you have said about men feeling trapped in their exec positions I would expect you to be embracing and supporting thus view. But you remain strangely silent on it. I wonder why that is.

The reason I find your views annoying is because I am the 'breadwinner' and I do not see it as a tougher role than my sahd husband. I recognise that I have more choices than he does. I know both men and women who feel 'trapped' in their exec careers who opine about stacking shelves but their real beef should be with capitalism/materialism.

It never occurred to me to consider any man's earning potential in looking for a partner. Is it a coincidence that I was the daughter of a feminist Mother? My dh's earning potential is below mine and this was a factor in his choosing to become a sahd. His work was less stimulating than mine. I disagree with your belief ScottCheggJnr that women are more materialistic than men when they look for a partner but even if you were right and I was wrong which of us would be doing more to counter it? When you plopped onto this board with your stereotypes you should have been congratulating and thanking feminists for inadvertently supporting your cause. This is exactly why I suggested to you that you work on toxic masculinity and you will inadvertently support ours. When dh left his job he only received criticism from one man who clearly thought he has abdicating his responsibilities. I would definitely support you working on that kind of idea and encouraging men to think of and value themselves in the round.