14yo leaves note to tell parents he's transitioning overnight

[Bittermints]

metro.co.uk/2018/11/26/transgender-14-year-old-leaves-note-to-tell-parents-hes-transitioning-overnight-8178053/

Follows the template very closely. Never liked girls' toys, much happier now with short hair and a re-decorated bedroom and wearing boys' clothes. Not like the older girls in the family. Hates developing body. Family saving up for mastectomy if the NHS won't pay for it. Let's hope somebody gets it through to them that they'd be better off spending money on counselling. Poor kid.

Confusing spelling error by the Metro there - ‘formally’ for ‘formerly’. Sums up the confusion of this whole phenomenon, really.

So, bam, just like that? Really? No discussion? I can't believe how irresponsible the media are being reporting in this way.

Agreed, Dana.

There is no depth or thoughtfulness in the way that it’s reported.
The narrative is that it’s easy and achievable. No reflection that 80% of children with gender dysphoria grow out of it- just reach for the and remove breasts.
The parents seem fully roadmapped into accepting all of this.

Well, sadly, if they've contacted the scaly-tailed support group they've probably been told to affirm at all costs and warned about the suicide risk.

I saw the story in the Daily mail. Check out the comments underneath. One, purportedly from Josh's mother, says that Josh is autistic. Poor kid.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6429067/Mother-reveals-transgender-son-14-told-letter-wanted-live-boy.html

Should add that I hope no one minds me posting on the feminism section, as I don't normally post here. It's just that i have been interested in so-called trans children ever since a class mate of my daughter "transitioned". Lovely child, but heading for a very difficult life I fear.

Did anyone hear woman's hour yesterday? Even Joan Collins said that at 14 she hated her developing body and wanted to be a boy. We need to give these young people support and time - not jumping to quick irreversible "fixes" - and think very hard about why so many girls struggle with the idea of becoming young women.

So again what was so bad about being a girl that overnight they had to change.

And why can't a girl wear what she wants and play with what she wants?

I'd be more concerned what could have happened or who's been saying what

There are a whole bunch of lesbian women who dress in mens clothing but have boobs. They have no desire to be men and would just like to be recognised as women too. They don't thrill at being called sir etc in shops and bars and are just as offended that you don't see them as women, clearly with boobs. Soon we will have to develop new polite greetings that don't gender a person for the fear of being offensive one way or the other.

Although I am really pleased to see Josh not wearing a binder.

It's so sad. I actually find reading about these kids quite traumatic and terrifying, knowing it could have been me if this had been going on when I was a kid.

Look at the pics. Josh likes fishing and boxing. Guess what. I used to go fishing and do kickboxing. Still a woman.

I had short hair as a kid. Still a woman.

Didn't like wearing dresses/skirts. Still a woman.

Hate wearing make up. Still a woman.

Hated my body at puberty. Would have loved to have got rid of my breasts and periods etc. Still a woman.

What makes me sad too is I was telling my oldest that if this had happened then he wouldn't be here. I'd be a gay infertile transman rather than a heterosexual woman. He still thinks kids should be able to chose to have puberty blockers/hormones etc.

There was mention in the article of getting a binder, sadly. It's all so grim.

As a little sister to a near-perfect big sister, I’ve spent vast swathes of my life trying to be absolutely nothing like her (I knew I couldn’t compete so I went for oppositional instead).

We’re now 42 and 45 and have ended up in more or less the same place in life only I did it all in an arse about face order (and have some extraneous ex husbands).

As far as I am aware this is a fairly normal sibling thing - so how does being nothing like your older sister suddenly indicate that you must be a transboy?

(My dad desperately wanted a son, he would’ve happily transed me. Thankfully I grew up in the 80s and escaped childhood with only a feminised man’s name an official school photo featuring a Glenn Hoddle haircut)

BloodyMary75

In case you haven't seen this interesting article from journalist in Seattle:

I suspect that "they" is most often lobbed onto people who look like me; that is, butch women. I have short hair, wear clothing from the men's section, and would look like a very awkward drag queen in a dress. When young, queer, online people meet me (or already know me), I am just as often referred to as "they" as I am "she," no questions asked. This looks, in practice, a whole lot like female erasure to me.

www.thestranger.com/slog/2018/09/06/31903785/they-is-a-fine-pronoun-but-it-aint-mine

So sad. They changed the room from girly purple. Why was it girly purple if they didn’t like purple? You can be a girl and have a graffiti wall too. Got rid of all dresses. Why did they have dresses if they didn’t like dresses? I never wore dresses, still don’t. My DD also never does. They cut her hair short, well, why did she have long hair if he wanted short hair. All this says to me is that ridiculous stereotyping meant that this child could not be who they wanted to be. So, “he was different from the sisters”, well why not as a girl? Some girls like traditional girls stuff. Some don’t. This is awful. Just so sad.

Again they have taken a formula from a few years ago of a teenager coming out as gay to their parents and the parents being lovely and supportive, and applied it to trans.

Except that when you come out as gay, you don't cut your healthy boobs off and take drugs which will render you infertile. All whilst still a teenager.

My daughter boxes. Her room is grey and red. She adores science and maths and computers. She wears a dress twice a year. She is a woman.

Some of this shit drives me up the wall.

And they are going to pay for surgery at 16? Surely they'll have to wait till 18 to do that?

The way they talk you’d think a double mastectomy was no big deal 😳

Here’s an account from a woman who had a cancer risk-reducing mastectomy (ie, she was healthy at the time of the op). Some differences in the surgery as this lady was having a two step reconstruction (so they try to preserve as much skin as possible) but otherwise, this is what the mum in the above story is cheerfully planning on buying for her 16 year old child...

brca2gether.wordpress.com/2013/12/18/12-days-post-mastectomy-recovery/

nellieellie
I agree. I had short hair as a child, was in Cub Scouts, played with Lego and Meccano, and dressed very similarly to how my DS does now. I was still a girl.

That blog is so moving.

This is all so very very worrying

Oh dear.

• Dad with hipster beard - check
• 4 daughters, youngest transitioning to a son & parents overjoyed - check
• Mum claims to have felt different while pregnant with fourth of four daughters - check
• Photo with 'male' deodorant - check
• Photo doing 'male sport (boxing) - check
• 'Excited' to start taking hormones - check
• Mum claims child looks to have an Adam's apple, despite this being bollocks - check

Also, from comments on Daily Mail website:

• Mum's literacy seems to be somewhat lacking. Does she really know what is going on here?
• Child is autistic (just how many autistic girls are transitioning), on her fb she says "I have a autistic child with sensory problems"

I had a look on Mum's FB, child is still there with long hair in March, then in June she posts

"14 years ago after 6 hours and 30 mins of labour I have birth to a beautiful princess. Today you have grown into a wonderful young man and today I am proud to call you my son. You have overcome so much in your life and I'm happy you're now comfortable with who you're and want to be."

So stepdad has hipster beard.

I am puzzled by all this complete utter nonsense.

As a girl I was really into building model fighter planes and spent loads of times in model shops - can't actually recall any other girls doing it but I never ever for one moment thought it was unusual. Would it be seen as unusual now and a sign of being trans ??

I also asked not to be given dolls as presents because my family were poor and I didn't want to put pressure on my parents so I made out I didn't want any girly presents.

I never ever was into Barbie again but I think that was because of money - maybe I would have played with one if it had come my way?

I always saw boys as my equal and so was very interested in anything my older brothers did.

I was good at maths and science. I worked very hard to get an education.

I always made sure I never made tea and coffee growing up as I often saw that this was something only females in my family did.

I avoided going to home Ed lessons at scho and protested them as I felt they were a waste of time.

I loved cricket and reach cricket autobiographies.

My hair was long because I could not afford to cut it.

I often still wear my husbands boxers and t shirts around the house.

This is all crazy.

I wonder if now some teacher or social media freak would suggest I was trans rather than actually understand anything about the sheer poverty I was in and the fact I had to work from a young age.

I mean why can't a girl have graffiti bedroom wall or a boy have a purple room?

I really loved prince growing up - I never once thought he was a girl?

Sorry for all my typos - I found the article about this poor child chilling.!