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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

I was thinking of 'Man Fridaying' my local gay sauna but I wrote to them instead....

37 replies

barelove · 06/11/2018 21:37

I emailed my local sauna who advertised 'Men only naked nights' asking if they would allow a trans person who identified as a gay man but presented as female (ie. pre surgery) to attend. They simply answered by saying that I would be more comfortable going to a cross dressing event that runs on another night. I then asked them to clarify that as a gay male identifying, female presenting person I would not be allowed in to their men only night. Again they avoided answering the question directly by saying that the only event I'd be welcome at would be the cross dressing night. I wrote back saying that I actually only identify as a man on fridays (Man Fridays!) and how happy I was to hear that they only allow men who were born men into their male only spaces and that I applaud their common sense. Ha! They then got back to me with a very panicky and defensive response stating that their business has always been welcoming to the trans community both pre and post op and that they did not appreciate me trying to catch them out or wasting their time. Obviously, I was confused by this response and wrote back querying their about turn. Once again, they responded by saying that 'the men only events are for MEN ONLY. ie Male men' but that they have another night where anyone can attend including trans people. The overall tone was defensive and fearful ending with 'We most strongly object to anyone saying we are being excluding or prejudiced towards any part of the community'. Which I'd never actually said or even implied! To summarise, it seems that this sauna business was great at sticking to their sex specific, men only nights but were terrified of having this pointed out publicly. I wonder why?!

OP posts:
Badmoonsarising · 07/11/2018 08:37

I’m not surprised they were annoyed for wasting their time and causing possible anxiety thst they’re going to be used to promote a news article or twitter storm. It’s game playing.

barelove · 07/11/2018 08:59

It was information gathering

OP posts:
ARosebyAnyOtherNameChange · 07/11/2018 09:09

I’m not surprised they were annoyed for wasting their time and causing possible anxiety that they’re going to be used to promote a news article or twitter storm. It’s game playing.

How does anyone distinguish between that and the situations in which male people have turned up at female-only establishments in order to waste their time?

In the case of that bod who wanted a 'bikini wax' of his sauna-credentials, it's less game-playing and more like straightforward blackmail.

ARosebyAnyOtherNameChange · 07/11/2018 09:09

'her' sauna-credentials, I suppose. Oops.

WhatTheWatersShowedMe · 07/11/2018 09:14

I think it would be brilliant if a bunch of women in fake beards rocked up to a gay sauna. Like the stoning scene in Life of Brian.

"Are there any women here?"

Needmoresleep · 07/11/2018 09:18

I think the real ManFriday checked policy with the Local Authority (City of London) first, before attempting access. They said he/she would be allowed access to the man's pond, but the police were called when she tried it, making nonsense of their commitment to selfID when it impacted on mens spaces.

Single sex saunas are licensed by the local authority and Sailors got it absolutely right by saying they needed to double check with the license giver first.

breastfeedingclownfish · 07/11/2018 09:25

For you waters

NotMeOhNo · 07/11/2018 09:37

Wow I got the cruise ad too, even though I'm in Australia. Usually I get local ads.

SnuggyBuggy · 07/11/2018 09:41

OP don't you know the new system is men and non-men? Know your place you non-man

But seriously it's interesting how no one is asking men to "be kind" and let women into their spaces.

IdaDown · 07/11/2018 09:52

I’d be up for a Friday night sauna. Would do my aching joints no end of good!

Seriously though, I would. I’ll bare my moobs and steam my mangina for the greater good.

Really, really stupid question. Apart from health clubs/spa type places. Stand alone saunas, are they usually single sex ie gay meet up places?

OlennasWimple · 07/11/2018 19:57

I get ads for tea infusions, gay cruises and hideous clothes - I am clearly straddling lots of demographics with my online activities!

FloralBunting · 07/11/2018 20:10

I've a tourist ad for Croatia. It's full of life, apparently, which is encouraging for a country with a decent population level.

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