R4 - sex addiction

[pombear]

I'm a bit perplexed. Radio 4 programme on now, starts off talking about #metoo, Weinstein and his proclaimed 'sex addiction'.

And almost straight away we're focusing on a woman with a sex addiction.

When I saw the story on the BBC news website this morning I was already perplexed. The main focus of their story focuses on this woman too. Illustrated with a nod to traditional soft-porn images, mainly of the woman.

Why is the first major focus on a woman who is sex-addicted?

We had to get to 18 minutes in to hear from a man who is sex-addicted.

Why, on some other subjects - not going to name them, otherwise I'll be accused of being 'obsessed' ! - on R4 is the male-voice centred even when it's about women's issues, but in this case someone at R4 obviously thought it was important to balance the sex-based voices out? Put a woman on first?

Statistically I'd be surprised if the % of women with 'sex-addiction' or porn-addiction is higher than men.

Why is the woman's story given so much prominence?

Rhetorical questions for a Monday evening!

Oh it's infuriating. In my opinion it's all for "Poor men"
So 99.9% of "sex addicts" are men but if they reported that it makes men feel bad. So they need to pretend some gender balance so that men as a whole aren't threatened by sex addiction.
It's like the "false accusation" story that gets trotted out every time there's a report about rape stats.
I'm not sure sex addiction is even a thing.

And Mandy, your husband sounds like he doesn't have sex-addiction, he just did what he did because he could.

Mandy talking about her husband, who she discovered had seen prostitutes throughout their marriage, and was a heavy user of porn.

Interviewer: Do you still believe he's a sex addict
Mandy: I think that depends on what mood I'm in, a lot of the time.

Mandy, I hope you find Mumsnet. (Hotbed of nappy changers, knitters, and part-time activists for women's rights!)

I'm really fucked off with this programme and the accompanying article on the BBC website

www.bbc.co.uk/news/stories-46073909

I totally accept that some women may have stories such as Neila's.

But the website article reads almost like wank-fodder for men who want to think about women's sex life.

Hey people - look here. SEX addiction. Now let us tell you about a woman who was shown porn by her colleagues at work and then went home and wanked to it also. Because.

(Oh, by the way, way down a story, if you're still interested, here's a man who liked shagging around and then got hooked on internet porn )

Is sex really addictive?

Do men get withdrawal symptoms?

That’s a half serious question. Is sex, in the strictest sense, addictive, or is it just habit forming?

It is deliberate disguise of the fact that the overwhelming majority of perverted, entitled, selfish sleezeballs are men. In fact a significant percentage of men are.

You'll notice that any discussion of the sex industries will involve wheeling out the handful of women who think it is just the bestest career choice for women, but voices and faces of men (the actual beneficiaries of the sex industries) will be almost entirely absent.

It is predictable.

Interesting how some behaviour/traits are being pathologised and some are being depathologised.

Ugh that article. Minimising bullshit.
"I loved her, I really did but for whatever reason I went to see a prostitute," he says. "I was desperate for a thrilling sexual encounter and I knew that this was something I shouldn't be doing. I'd never be unfaithful to her with another girl but this felt like something different."
For whatever reason being code for my penis rules my life.

aspie in my opinion it's not addictive as such but I think some people get a compulsion to do it (similar to shopping 9r hoarding maybe)
I think talking about it as an "addiction" stops them taking responsibility for their actions and the impact on others.
I know the topic of whether or not sex can be an addiction is controversial in psychological fields.

Agree that talking about it being an "addiction" is just a way of trying to abnegate resposibility, like having a "sugar addiction" or "anger issues". Some people can't help their sexually promiscuous behaviour but they are usually floridly manic and need psychiatric treatment and major tranquillisers.
Some people like more sex than others, some people see sex as a substitute for affection, some people use sex to bolster their self esteem, some people have lots of sex with different people because they can. Calling it "addiction" doesn't help.
Also agree most people with excessive libidos using sex chat lines,prostitutes, sex as power like Weinstein are men.