The Unspoken Homophobia Propelling the Transgender Movement

[IdaBWells]

I did a search and couldn't find this posted so my apologies if it is a duplicate. A very straightforward article in Quilette. The author's claim is that young children say they are the opposite sex "because that's the only language they have to express to adults that they want to do things the opposite sex does".

quillette.com/2018/10/23/the-unspoken-homophobia-propelling-the-transgender-movement-in-children/

Click link

quillette.com/2018/10/23/the-unspoken-homophobia-propelling-the-transgender-movement-in-children/

The comments below the article are well worth a read too

Thanks for sharing that. The comments were very supportive and interesting.

I think it's heartbreaking and terrifying. Why don't LGB people see the danger in this?

Correction: *More (lgb people see the danger in this)

Great piece by Debra Soh.
Thanks for sharing!

yes, it's a really clearly laid out piece. I too am astonished that the it's not obvious to people that transitioning children who are questioning gender conformity is basically conversion therapy in many cases.

It's similar to people being unable to see that transgenderism is rooted in sexist stereotypes.

It is hidden in plain sight, Jazz Jennings and I believe Susie Green’s child were boys who preferred stereotypically female interests and roles. When they expressed a desire to be a girl their parents energetically embraced that rather than continue with the ambiguity of having a gender non-conforming boy.

Quite recently Jazz has talked about if she came back in another life she would be a gay man which has to be one of the saddest statements I have ever heard.

“The author's claim is that young children say they are the opposite sex "because that's the only language they have to express to adults that they want to do things the opposite sex does".”

That does make sense: in the same way young children will often call me “Mummy” because, to them, a woman looking after them is a mummy.

However, I have to say that none of the nearly 200 children I have cared for has ever said he is a girl or she is a boy. Not one. Quite the contrary!

They have access and play with cars, dolls, dressing up clothes, cooking, trainsets regardless of their gender. They are never discouraged from doing any activity they wish to do because they are girls or boys.

Perhaps the author’s explanation is the reason why.

I understand the logic, but still find it difficult to believe that anyone would really think it's easier for their child to change sex than just be gay.

www.google.com/amp/s/people.com/tv/jazz-jennings-past-life-regression-therapy-hungry-accepted/amp/

Sorry if it's not clicky but I'm struggling with a new phone! It turns out it was during "past life regression" she imagines herself as a gay man rejected by her family

I agree that that lack of acceptance of gender nonconformity - a man with feminine traits is somehow not a man - is rooted in homophobia.

The MTF trans person I know well was exactly in this situation. Very bigoted, homophobic father, felt he couldnt come out, decided he was 'a woman trapped inside a man's body' instead. Now lives with a gay man. It's all based in rampant homophobia. Astounds me that haddock et al can't see that.

I think some people are very comfortable indeed inside the box of gendered stereotypes. if things that challenge that, like effeminate men and butch women make you incredibly uncomfortable, what could be nicer than pretending they've changed sex, thus removing your need to deal with them.

I just don't understand why some people find gendered stereotypes so very comforting.

I think the root homophobia of the trans/genderist movement is very very obvious, especially in people from religious backgrounds or in cases with small children in religious families.

If you believe homosexuality is a wicked, perverted sin, and you also believe in the idea of an eternal soul which is separate from the material body, then transing looks very appealing as a way to sidestep the wicked perverted sin.

My child isn't gay, they have a girl's soul in a boy's body. We can fix the body, and retain the relationship with my child, and my standing in the church/community.

If they grow up and are openly gay, I will be faced with ostracism from my church/community/family, and I may feel I have to reject my child for their sinfulness.

A subset of gay men are repudiating the idea that there is any association between homosexuality and femininity

Yes, which is why I don't think it's especially helpful to say to every child who is being targeted by Genderists "You're just gay".

But, we are talking about a certain section of society which does associate femininity with male homosexuality, and their responses to a child or young person displaying an interest in stereotypically feminine things or an attraction to the same sex.

It's not a reasonable response to these things, but it's certainly happening for a significant proportion of families caught up in this.

Honestly, when half of trans Twitter is reframing same sex attraction as an obsession with genitals, I don't think we're in "unspoken" territory at all.

Langcleg, I agree - it’s certainly not unspoken when there are demands for lesbians to “suck lady dick”, and vile references to the cotton ceiling etc. Trans activists are openly homophobic. Young gay teens are a threat to their blanket sex stereotypes, and must be forced into hormone treatment.
If the Haddock wasn’t so blinkered he should see that. But I suspect he’s a narcissist who loves the publicity and doesn’t care that he’s supporting the wrong side.

If I can use a personal example - my son is non conforming in many ways. He likes nail polish and floral patterns and is really quite flamboyant in manner. He's also, as far as we know at this stage, heterosexual.

A boy at the church youth group keeps calling him gay. The boy is gay himself, so I think there's some odd psychology at play, but that's by the by.

My son is only a preteen boy, so does not have the wisdom of years to assess this rationally, so he's going to go a number of ways. Either he's going to baulk at being persistently called gay as a pejorative when he isn't, and start toning down his self expression, or he's going to be stubborn and just be himself, which is obviously the response I am encouraging.

It's also, sadly, possible that this will propel him into some difficult introspection about who he is, and if we were in a certain religious setting, that could lead to some very mixed up conclusions.

I'm hoping that in my lifetime, or at least his, society will get to the stage that you can be any orientation you please without judgement or comment, and that if you are a straight male who likes floral patterns and big arm gestures, no one makes assumptions or judgements either. But I'm not going to hold my breath.

Less "unspoken", more "thinly veiled and constant".

The aggression from the two TRAs in the comments is particular noticeable.

And the story from Tom, who is clearly deeply unhappy as a male but doesn't want to be a ''pretend woman" (his words, not mine) is very sad.

At some point older gay men are going to look round and wonder where the younger generation got to.

My thoughts on this aren't very organised but fwiw the thing I struggle with is the rush to declare a public identity (even if that identity places you somewhere between two poles, eg non-binary/genderqueer). There is no room for nuance or an ongoing interior process of (often painful) self-discovery. Rather than examining homophobia, misogyny, oppression and the ways we have internalised them, I think it's simpler and happier to focus on concepts like support and pride, even though by forcing an identity declaration you may not have had the time or reflection required to really understand yourself.

Case in point:

Gender stereotypes: Teen called lesbian for playing football www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-46074539

Anecdotally:

Aged 5 in reception in the early 80s I played a lot in the home corner with some girls and one boy. We loved playing with that boy.

One day he was crying in the playground as he'd been teased by the boys and told he mustn't play in the home corner. It was his absolute favourite thing.

Age 5 logic made him say through tears; I want to be a girl so I can play in the home corner.

I pointed out this was silly and said If he was a girl I couldn't do this and gave him a big kiss. Made him very happy and I clearly didn't know about same sex relationships at that point.

My only experience I've had with anyone who really wants to change sex and was distressed has been that they're actually very gender non conforming (and actually autistic); luckily this was clarified (I believe at the Tavistock.) parents were fine with the gender non conforming part; it was more the desire to wear girls school uniforms etc that was difficult and led to desires to actually change sex.

My own son knew he was a boy and would ever be able to breastfeed at age 2 or even before (I was still feeding him; he handed me his toys to feed as he stated couldn't). They do become so very aware of differences and preferences very early on; how these differences and preferences are handled is so important, and can't always be in the home. He started touting the only girls can have pink at age 3.5 via nursery (swiftly challenged).

I do believe there will be very rarely a truly dysphoric child but I also believe that the more the stereotypes are challenged around them and acceptance of differences, preferences, bullying attitudes challenged, the easier their lives are till they're of an age to really choose and understand themselves better. And as I believe the influences and awareness starts very young; how much can we say that how preferences have been dealt with aren't a factor? Baring in mind media messages through film etc. No Disney Prince wears floaty sparkly dresses.

^ the child bullied for home corner play was likely the target of an undercurrent if background homophobia just generally in society at the time.