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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Reflecting on becoming GC

5 replies

Poppyred85 · 02/11/2018 17:43

This post is probably going to be a bit rambly so apologies from the outset.
I’ve just been having a chat with my Mum about the debate around transgender ideology. It started off because she asked whether I’d watched Butterfly and I said no as I felt it was heavily influenced by the TRA agenda. We talked about Mermaids, self ID and some of the GG issues. She is broadly GC and in agreement regarding self ID but said she thought it was good that people on Question Time and similar programmes had been saying how important respect and kindness was on both sides. This was in response to me saying I thought Mermaids were awful and the actions of Susie Green reprehensible. She seemed to think that opinion was excessive and there were “extremists on both sides.” The conversation moved on but it’s left me feeling upset and I’m not sure why. Of course it’s right we all treat each other with respect but I feel as though the GC side is not the group lacking in respect in all this. It left me with the feeling I got as a teenager when I argued with her over the Iraq war and as an adult when we discuss Brexit (now a verboten topic by mutual agreement). I think overall I feel a little sad that she’s not as vociferously GC as I thought she would be. She’s the reason I am a feminist. I haven’t read any feminist theory and only realised I would be considered rad fem or second wave by reading here. But she’s the one that got me started. She told me of her experiences as a working class girl leaving school at 15, the attitudes of the men in the offices and factories she worked in and her determination that her daughter should not be cowed into accepting the same sexist behaviour
As I said, this is all a bit half formed in my head, and I’m not sure what the point of the thread except possibly to ask has anyone else felt like this? A bit disappointed that people who you assumed would get it just don’t seem to in the way you thought they would?

OP posts:
Ereshkigal · 02/11/2018 18:11

Yes, OP. My mum is pretty much the same 💐

Ereshkigal · 02/11/2018 18:12

I would definitely call her GC though.

SarahCarer · 02/11/2018 19:55

Likewise. My Mum taught me that gender is a social construct but later I realised she doesn't really believe it. She actually never stopped believing that certain traits are naturally associated with being male or female. She is a feminist and would like to see far more women in positions of power as she believes they are more inclined to pursue peace and collaboration (naturally). I held the same conflicting views until Mumsnet showed me it was impossible to believe both.

Electron1 · 02/11/2018 20:20

I get the impression with the whole Susie Green Mermaids stuff that people think it's all a bit Jeremy Kyle and a bit harmless/hopeless/not worth worrying about.

Until it knocks on your door of course and you are the parent of a groomed child then you then realise the whole country is going ahh, bless, what's on Netflix, we don't care, Jimmy Savile style.

FloralBunting · 02/11/2018 20:27

I think the reality is that we all have quirks and blindspots. We live our lives and do all the day to day stuff that takes up time and energy, and we don't always have the space to think everything we believe through to all the logical consequences.

I think that's possibly why you have the kerfuffles here when people find themselves questioning where they stand - it is very easy for life to fill up to overflowing so you don't have anything spare.

I've been thrust into this because of real life issues that have meant I had to really consider all the implications, and I'm at a point in my life where I can devote some energy to it, and even I regularly examine my thinking so that I can see where I've cocked up.

Most people see this as glancing off the edges of their life - they've got kids to get ready for school, extra work on that project for a colleague, a trip to Tesco for some loo roll, housework, elderly relatives etc. Etc. Etc. Until you see the importance of these ideas and campaigns, smacking you between the eyes, it's far too easy to just nodvandbsmile to things that sound reasonable, notice a headline, and then it's on to the next news item while you eat your tea off a plate on your lap.

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