13 yr old arrested for sex attacks on 9 women

[failingatlife]

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-46069899

So shocked at this story! My 13 yr old DS is a child! How the fuck have we got to this point?

I agree with Lottapianos.

Lottapianos

Yep. It has been going on for a long,long time. Why are there so many supposed adults throwing tantrums over social media if someone disagrees with their opinion. Hell you just have to watch auditions for shows like Idol (pick a country) or .......got talent. Some parents are incapable of telling their children the truth and/or explaining reality and consequences.

Exactly lotta

Raise your kid with no rules and no boundries . Shrug as he pushes girls around and pulls their pig tails. Boys always joke and laugh about their willies. It's funny to pull kids trousers down or to lift up girls skirts etc

All at an age well before they get a phone or know how to log on to a computer.

Then we can all shrug and pretend and could do nothing about their internet access and it was bound to happen. And everyone has sympathy because they need phones and we can't be there etc

Porn has basically become a free pass now. We attribute everything to it.

Truth is the behaviour was most likely clear and habits ingrained well before phones are an issue.

I mentioned porn before. I completely agree that it's not the only reason and that it's not a new problem.
However, I do believe porn is making the problem worse, can't find any articles now but it's linked to increase of younger boys assalting other kids.

However, I do believe porn is making the problem worse, can't find any articles now but it's linked to increase of younger boys assalting other kids

Out of curiosity how did they measure this. I remember a judge once (I think If I remember correctly) giving a young Iad an extremely light punishment for a horrific crime on the basis of him having been exposed and ergo influenced by too porn.

Would the results of this kind of study be dependent on sone one admitting "oh yeah I saw someone do this online/on tv it looked like fun " etc ?

The questions I have here are - isn't it a worry if someone is so easily influenced by something that by a certain age they should realise is acting etc. Same as Dr who doesn't really time travel, and dr karev isn't really a Dr. The blood on Carrie was fake etc. Is being so easily influenced a worry in itself. Same as say violent computer games and acts of violence.

Has porn become the new " well dave did it"

Murdered, rapists etc always seem to have an excuse . Usually a woman saying no to them. They don't like it. They don't feel women should get the choice etc. And that is usually the product of a lifetime of male privilege and being indulged.

I guess what I'm saying is are they reasons because they are reasons. Or are they reasons because those of us who are decent people need something to blame. We can't fathom something being done especially by sone one so young who could he any one of our brothers or sons or cousins etc because that person is a bad person. That there has to be a reason that makes us feel better for not noticing or not being there or for not teaching them a better way..

Sorry not sure if that makes any sense

Cos exposure to porn comes quite late really they get phones at what 11? Ready for senior school.

This kid was 13.

Could exposure to porn really over ride the 11 years previously of being taught to be respectful etc?

Sorry I'm.not questioning you. More just laying out my thought process really.

'Then we can all shrug and pretend and could do nothing about their internet access and it was bound to happen. '

Yes, and wring our hands a bit more about how hard it is being a parent, and how I simply have to hand over my phone every time the 2 year old screams for it because if I dont, they will cry and we can't have that, and gosh, well what can you do???

It's just simply not good enough. It's failing the kids, and failing whatever poor unfortunate person will be on the receiving end of their entitled, abusive or dangerous behaviour in the future

It's not just porn. The messages about what men can do to women and get away with are everywhere. They're on adverts, they're in the music they listen to, they're on the TV, they're on games (GTA anyone?). Everything is hyper-aggressive now. And that's their normality.

A few points I would like to make.

1. 9 year olds being in the ladies changing room or toilet is absolutely no predictor of them becoming a sexual offender ffs!!
2. Yes there are lots of badly behaved brats whose parents don’t correct them (mainly out of sheer bloody laziness). But they are both boys and girls.
3. Yes I do hear “boys will be boys” I also often hear the same sort of parents giggling in a proud way “oh yes she’s our little diva / madam” it’s just another way of excusing bratty behaviour in either sex.

Who knows what led this to a 13 year old committing sexual assaults, but what we do know is children who do this sort of thing are likely to be victims of abuse themselves or have witnessed abuse.

I worked with troubled young people in a secure unit over thirty years ago , we had one young man / boy aged thirteen who was six foot plus and hyper sexual ; porn had almost nothing to do with his need to dominate and abuse / rape women , especially older women (fifty plus) , it was terrifying working with him at times . Seething hatred of women and raging hormones mixed in with a long history of abuse and neglect at home created a monster frankly . I suspect he's spent most of his life in prison .

1. 9 year olds being in the ladies changing room or toilet is absolutely no predictor of them becoming a sexual offender ffs!!

It's one of the million ways in which the message gets given to biys that they matter more. That girls are not entitled to space or privacy away from boys though.

All dressed up as "safety"

It's ok for biys to need to escape from otger boys but girls cabt escape from the very boys you are avoiding

Don't underestimate what that tells them.

Giles it tells them that that as an individual child at their own individual rate of development, their parent knows and understands what they are capable of coping with. Nothing more nothing less. It certainly doesn’t tell them they have a right to sexually assault anyone when they are older!

You carry on thinking that... never.mind all the girls it shits all over now forced to get naked in front of class.mates or neighbours.

They will see the girls uncomfortable and they know from mummy that it doesn't matter

there are a very small number of children both boys and to a far lesser extent girls in this country that are involved in sexulised behaviours at very young ages, the reasons behind this behaviour are complex and have a lot to do with developmental trauma in nearly all cases. none of these young people are born like this and they are often born into environments that most of us could never even imagine. the work that is undertaken with them is often lengthy and difficult but can and is very successful. the effect of long term exposure to porn is something that very few people in the general public are aware of but it is becoming a greater and greater problem and is one that needs addressing.

the effect of long term exposure to porn is something that very few people in the general public are aware of but it is becoming a greater and greater problem and is one that needs addressing

As I have said. I am not dismissing the effects of porn.

However males have abused females since the dawn of time.

This pre dates porn mags.
It pre dates internet.

Many parts of the world have extremely long standing abusive traditions that go back way befire play boy.

Women for centuries have been raped or burned at stake or murdered at birth. Sold as property etc

Porn is a symptom of eternal negative amd abusive attitudes towards women and girls Not the cause.

This is why we need to ensure that we do not continue this. Even in ways we didn't realise we were doing so.

Some of you have already touched on this...access to phone use IS a problem.
I had to warn a close friend of mine about 'ElsaGate'. She boasted about how her 2 yr old son was 'so good' at using YouTube and could scroll through the videos and choose what he fancied watching etc.
Some videos on the YouTube Kids app are inappropriate for children, yet are still on there for children to access. Fake Disney cartoons showing characters with needles up bums type stuff, holding characters hostage...the list goes on. Then fast forward to older kids being normalised to this idea of tying girls up and there you have it.
These type of videos can be repeated over and over and over again on tap.
Some Reddit users have been looking into this for ages and even though it is not nice to read, it really does make sense.
I can't link to the Reddit page on my phone, but you can just search for Elsa Gate on Reddit and it should be the first result.
I know it isn't the only cause for sexualised behaviour, but I can see why some children would find these type of videos difficult to process.

Sorry about the paragraphs, it's the first time I've used the app!

Will double space next time

Porn is a symptom of eternal negative amd abusive attitudes towards women and girls Not the cause.

This is why we need to ensure that we do not continue this. Even in ways we didn't realise we were doing so.

I agree with this so much. It's the entitlement to behave in abusive ways that goes uncorrected. The expression in this case is sexual abuse but in the same way that 'lone wolf' terrorists consistently have a background of being domestic abusers, the issue is the entitlement to rage and abuse - in whatever variety that manifests.