Going public

[IBlameJulieBindel]

I read a particularly good tweet by The Bewilderness @tehbewilderness today:
‘If you ever wondered when you read history, or hear your family stories, what you would have done when totalitarianism took hold of a society, now you know. You are doing it now in the war on women that is raging.’

I already knew all the reasons why I’m as anonymous as I can be (hence the incessant name changes). I keyboard warrior like a good’n, I’ve stickered and fliered like it’s 1999, I attend whatever I can, but this tweet made me think, it’s not enough. I do sometimes think about what I’d have done at various points in history, and now I know. I’d fear for my career and my children, and paying the mortgage. These are all very sensible and rational fears. If 90% of the women who have lost jobs/been suspended from their party etc were attacked on the basis of the tweets I’ve seen, I think my twitter feed (like many here) would bring joy to a TRA lawyer’s grubby little heart. Not because a solitary word of it is transphobic, but then, you know the rest.
At what point does this issue become dangerous enough to ‘die on the hill’, as it were? I know different people will have different points that they’ll sit on this (and rightly so).
I have the sort of job that if I lose my registration, I can’t work in my profession (like many other people who far more bravely than me have stuck their neck out. I feel we should give a big shout out at this point to the inestimable Dr Haddock who has done so much to turn so many to the other side ). I really love my job, but then I really love the idea of not rolling women’s rights and protections back a few decades too.
I’d really value people’s thoughts on where they are at themselves, or any thoughts and tips. I know there is the usual ‘test out your friends’ malarkey, but privately I’m well known amongst friends as a ragingly radfem. I feel like going public means using my professional voice to speak up as it’d give me more of a platform (right up until my P45 hits my mat. Brief discussion with HR has heretofore not been encouraging on this issue 😳).
I know I’m being a weasel fretting about my own sweet neck when so many woman (and a few men too) have risked so much. But I’d still appreciate hearing where everyone else is at.

I've been thinking the same thing, OP. When I watched the first series of "Handmaid's Tale' i wondered where I would be in that scenario, how brave would I be? And I now have some answers, and I don't like them. I have little to lose by going public but still I don't really do it: I do post GC stuff on FB but seldom with any comments, not at all sure anyone did the recent consultation because I persuaded them. I did a tiny bit of leafletting in the recent FPFW campaign but feel ashamed not to have done more. Having said that, I don't have any public profile at all so probably nobody would listen to me anyway.

The thing is, not many people are taking this seriously but by the time they realise it IS serious, it'll be too late. The laws will have been passed and we'll be back in our box.

I have daughters who won't talk about it. One works at the BBC and has obviously had plenty of diversity training. On the few occasions we've spoken about it, I'm dismayed at the things she's said and wonder how on earth she issued forth from my body.

I read that tweet too OP and, not for the first time, had similar thoughts about my own response. I'm anonymous here, and on twitter. I've leafleted, shared the GRA stuff on FB & by email, spoken to friends & family & sent emails in support of GC women to relevant organisations. I'm still trying to get to see my MP. And that's it.
Not very brave at all, particularly since I have little to lose (I'm self-employed / semi-retired). I know what's stopping me. It's fear of allowing that flood of hatred and misogyny to pour in to my life. I believe it would simply paralyse me and render me unable to do anything except retreat. So that's where I'm at.
But I am stronger than I was at the start and hopeful that the extraordinary courage of other women will give me the strength to become braver.

I think it’s also the nature of women’s lives and responsibilities (so many of us our mothers and working outside the home for example) that it can be difficult to drop everything to attend meetings and rallies at short notice.

However, we are large in number and we are well informed and share good information quickly. We also crowdfund successfully and get the message out. We are also truly commuted and have a clear, logical, reasonable message that doesn’t have to be justified by creating an entirely new ideology NOT based on reason and science and objective REALITY.

So we are in it for the long haul. As my children are getting older I am also making more and more time for this and it is radicalizing a lot of women (like myself) who were not as aware of how truly misogynistic the world is.

Having watched the fall out from the brexit referendum whereby half my family went for the other half on Facebook and said some pretty nasty stuff. Especially between the generations, and old and new labour. I just know this would open up yet another rift, when we are still trying to heal and get through Brexit.

Most of my social media friends are school mums, and tbh I mainly use it to arrange play dates etc. I steer clear of politics etc as it could have a knock on effect to my kids. This is a right-wing, white van man area. PC thinking is mocked anyway.

I kind of think that if Brexit does end up bringing this country to its knees and we see a return to the days of 1970s Britain then at least people will have less time to navel gaze and having a chance to experience true hardship might give the opportunity for some young adults to mature a bit, and have a dose of reality.

I agree. I am not on Facebook or social media. So my discussions other than here are face to face and not confrontational. Solidarity and friendship are important.

I’m going to speak to my line manager later in the week and find out where the line is re employment for me. It’s going to be hard to work out where ‘registration investigation’ starts and free speech ends, because based on my being female clearly anything I write will be reported as hate speech.

Well done, OP. That's brave. Will be thinking of you with crossed fingers.
I have many thoughts about this. Mainly that I really need to be braver, too. It's so unfair on the women taking the worst of this shit. It really has been a stepwise process. I have to keep checking that the sky won't fall in. I am by nature very shy, with a history of mental health issues, and can't really do any social media even with non-controversial subject material. So that hasn't helped. But I am running out of excuses for not being louder, and getting SO angry about this insanity and abuse.
I fully understand why people need to remain undercover. There are really scary people out there. Severe consequences. Sometimes I feel like people can just smell the wrongthink on me and it makes me upset. It's to the point where I wonder whether we need a code of some sort..
I am telling myself that everything helps. Every conversation, email, meeting, blog, MN post, etc. I sometimes wish that those of us who are wavering could all come out together, maybe.

I also belong to a regulated profession . Trans issues directly relate to the profession and I think it is right and proper for any members of the profession to be held to account if they made inflammatory or derogatory comments about trans people.
I don't find it difficult being gender critical at work because I express measured, balanced, considered views. I am pretty senior, experienced and have a good reputation for the work I do (I am only saying this because I have no doubt that this helps). The regulatory body and/or my employers would look ridiculous if they objected to the comments/concerns I raise. Some TRAs and one very well known trans advocacy organisation have complained to my employers but the complaints haven't been upheld, I was never in any doubt that they would be.
Having said all of that, I don't engage in social media battles. I don't think this is where the solution lays. I also think the 'fight' on social media is toxic and damaging and being part of it could be difficult to defend.

I'm self employed, I am my business. I have toyed with going public but can't see it being well accepted. Some of my clients are international businesses, they have their own fights to fight. I'd be replaced in a trice if they got a single complaint!

So I have an alter ego... and I take good care never to link her to my real name... but still I am unsure of someone could do a bit of digging and make that connection! Scary and absolutely fucking ridiculous!

I feel so ineffectual, belittled and, frankly, about as bullied as I was when I was a newcomer in a small rural school! Not at all good for my self esteem!

Thanks all. msbeaujangles, you made some good points. I may be better prepared by leaving social media and concentrating solely on the RL implications. I’d assumed that social media has more of a reach, and wins for one person makes others feel supported and encouraged. Am a bit on the fence about this part.