Losing friends for being actively feminist

[CrazyToast]

I recently found a very nice group of people, intelligent, kind etc. However I had noticed some of the male members engaging in stereotypical derailing, dismissing and silencing tactics online and so I challenged these, politely and in a friendly manner. Since then they all seem to have gone off me, lack of engagement and avoiding me. I think I may have been blackballed for being one of 'those' feminists! Since then two people have confided in me about experiencing the same thing.

I do worry though- am I now unlikeable because I speak out on feminist stuff? Is that what happens to us?

Naw you jus5 ge5 better friends
Who wants to be friends with idiots

Is it possible you perceive them as friends but the men perceive you as an acolyte or a source of positive affirmation to validate their narcissistic self-regard? (Narcissists can be very warm and charming until it goes off the rails.)

Maybe your manner didn't appear quite so friendly to the other parties.

Life is better once all your friends are people who aren't trying to police your opinions.

Its not you, its them.
Have the 2 people who contacted you made friends with you, or are they more concerned about what the men in the group think of them?

I find it's easy to have friends, particularly male friends, if you smile and agree with everything they say. Stop talking as soon as they interrupt you, never interrupt them (you will soon see that look of irritation if you do!). If they ever say something so blatantly ridiculous that you have no choice but to point it out, make sure you preface your remarks with 'I expect I'm being silly but...' or something similar. For goodness sake, don't express a strong opinion, and if you say anything negative about male behaviour, make sure to balance it with a negative comment about women.

I don't have that many friends any more because I can't be arsed with any of this. Once in a while you may find someone you can actually have a conversation with, even disagree with, and still get on with them. They're the ones to hang onto.

On a different but related note: why are everyone else's holidays similar to mine, but soooo much better....

I've lost friends because of being a feminist.

Or more accurately some people can't cope with me because they're dicks. It makes them feel uncomfortable and so they don't want to have to confront that.

Fuck em.

Yes I have found this. I do a hobby with several males who I am friends with and because I want to keep the group together for the hobby I let a lot of things slide.

Otherwise I don't tend to have many male friends because I don't generally take any prisoners (not just over feminism) and I can't be arsed to do emotional stuff for male friends as they never do it back. (Eg discussing relationships etc.) And that doesn't usually go down well.