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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

I'm so angry, I'm worried for the future

23 replies

fizzthecat1 · 19/10/2018 17:22

So there was a thread of Reddit a while ago, it was a man bragging about flashing his "female penis" to women in the changing room.

Here's the thread

www.removeddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/98o0d4/finally_let_myself_be_completely_naked_in_the/

So the subject of this thread was brought up on another Reddit thread, my comment was pretty blase, I said I don't blame women for feeling uncomfortable around a "female penis", they shouldn't have been acting that creepy, making eye contact with women with their dick out.

Anyway everything kicked off, I was downvoted, called transphobic, had a load of abuse hurled my way. I don't care so much about that, but more what it symbolises. People outside Mumsnet don't really feel the way we do. They think we are transphobic if we don't want a creepy guy and his female penis around us. It doesn't give me much hope for the Law being on our side if this is the general perception.

OP posts:
BettyDuMonde · 19/10/2018 17:24

Reddit users aren’t typical though.

97% of almost 10,000 times readers are unequivocally opposed to male-bodied people in female spaces.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 19/10/2018 17:25

No, you're making the mistake of thinking Internet cesspits represent public opinion.

Talk to the women who have leafleted for Fair Play in the last few weeks. They are talking about ratios of about 50 positive reactions to one negative.

Look at the times reader poll. 97% on our side.

bluetitsaretits · 19/10/2018 17:28

It's very different in the 'offline ' world.
Outside of woke professions like education most people seem to either have no idea this is going on or they see it for the lunacy it is. Take heart!

NowtSalamander · 19/10/2018 17:29

The problem is more with most people being totally uninformed about the whole thing rather than wanting lady dicks around. In general, once they’ve thought it through a bit, you can bet they’ll peak.

Oldstyle · 19/10/2018 17:30

Reddit is even more of an echo-chamber than Twitter OP, with the added irritation of seeing itself as cool and edgy. Lots of Incel-types and lots of testosterone. I saw that thread (yet another peaking moment for me) and panicked for a bit. But then I started leafleting and talking to people IRL. And what do you know! The absolute vast majority a) want people to be able to live lives free from discrimination and harrassment and b) support the rights of women & girls to single-sex spaces, services and opportunities. The law might go either way but public opinion is definitely on our side.

silentcrow · 19/10/2018 17:31

Pretty much everywhere but r/GenderCritical is a hole of dung, tbh. Don't bother.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 19/10/2018 17:32

Not that I'm not also worried. But the question is more how to inform and harness public opinion rather than how to change minds.

bluetitsaretits · 19/10/2018 18:01

Good question countess -it seems like a lot of people just think it's a 'trans issue' and of no interest to them, or a 'feminist issue -also of no interest to them.

ToeToToe · 19/10/2018 18:13

No, reddit's not typical. It's one of the sites my kids are blocked from.

ToeToToe · 19/10/2018 18:13

(By us, their parents, I hasten to add!)

IKeepFlouncing · 19/10/2018 18:15

Agree offline I have had nothing but positive exchanges. Twitter is great also

Gncq · 19/10/2018 18:16

I wonder if the man bragging was jess Bradley.

ToeToToe · 19/10/2018 18:22

But OP, I am also angry, and worried for the future - because some sort of madness seems to have taken hold of our government, the bbc, stonewall, Liberty, Amnesty, various police forces and just about every political party.

But talk to anyone on the street, and they'll see the madness.

We joke about being sent to Gulag - but I think they're trying to "re-educate" the nation right now.

"Repeat after me...there is nothing to fear....Karen White is no big deal..."

R0wantrees · 19/10/2018 18:25

The consultation period has been extended until Monday.

Talk to people in real life.

Most are only starting to be aware.

As others have said, SM is not representative of real life.

It affects everyone so people should not be disenfranchised from having their say.

PersonWithAVulva · 19/10/2018 21:04

Its asktransgender.

Its populated with creepy AGP blokes and groomers ready to pressure kids into buying hormones online and such, not actual transsexual people. Its an absolute pit of shite tbh.

ToeToToe · 19/10/2018 21:20

Ugh. And that's why it's blocked.

iismum · 19/10/2018 22:00

Actually, having just looked at your link, the majority of comments that I can see - even though they mostly accept that this person is a woman and that they should be in the female changing room - are saying that it is out of order to get your penis out in a woman-only space and they should think about rape victims, etc.

So even on reddit, it seems like (at least some) common sense exists ...

HandsOffMyRights · 19/10/2018 22:31

If you talk to normal people on the street, they really get this. One lady said to me "Oh there's so many genders it's nonsense" yesterday. We chatted about her mother (who was in her 80s) and talked about intimate care/hospitals and she left me completely peaked.

If they see Aimee Challenor or Jess Bradley interviewed, they get this. These characters may live on Twitter, but in the real world it's so obvious they're creepy.

The public may not complete the GRA (which is a worry). It hasn't necessarily hit key groups yet - this is why Harrop was freaked when he thought working class people in Moss Side would find out.

I don't want it to get to the stage where the local girls' cross country team is infiltrated by males or the new Guide leader has a beard, but when this shit gets real, really into people's everyday lives, we will see that society won't stand for it.

What I'd like to see is all that uncovered now, before any more victims, like those of White, are claimed.

I do feel a sense of gloom sometimes. It is affecting my well being, but I have kids, mother to look after and women have to get on with it. There's no time to navel gaze like teenage TRAs.

But we can't despair, because MPs and TRAs are in a bubble. People won't be when this touches their individual lives.

IKeepFlouncing · 19/10/2018 22:39

handsoffmyrights my mum told me I’m getting to stressed about this it making me ill. But just getting 1 person aware makes it worth while

Gncq · 19/10/2018 22:41

I was heartened to hear the women who lost to Rachel Mckinnon are working to change the rules. A year or so ago it would have been "we just have to accept it".

ohello · 20/10/2018 00:47

I am pretty sure that 90% of the males on reddit are 12yo little boys who are massively resentful that they have to bathe in order to get a teenage girl to look twice at them.

yes there are exceptions, but the list of adult things they do not understand boggles the mind. Not even related to sexism or women's rights, just... basic adult things.

Coyoacan · 20/10/2018 01:41

Those people on Reddit are mad. When I was young, back in the dark ages, friends and I lived in a house where we didn't worry about nudity. But one thing is nudity and another thing altogether is someone who takes pleasure in showing off their penis, that is truly creepy and abusive.

birdbandit · 20/10/2018 09:37

I'm not convinced that once those Reddit creepers are offline and waving their willies about, everyone is going to be very cool with it.

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