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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

My 13 yr old son understands consent! So proud of him!

3 replies

failingatlife · 09/10/2018 12:19

My ds1 (15) told me last week a girl in his year is pregnant. He told me she is part of the wild crowd drinking doing drugs etc. The implication being she had sex with a random boy under the influence.
Conversation was had between us about alcohol personal safety consent etc. He totally gets it & we talk about this stuff a lot. He is a grounded kid with little interest in partying etc yet.

DS 2 is just 13. Off school today sick. We ended up in a chat about the Brett Kavanaugh scandal. Then he mentioned the pregnant girl from school. He barely knows her but knows the crowd she runs with. He said she probably didn't know what she was doing because it was a random boy at a 'gaff' ( house party). He said 'mum isn't that rape' (paraphrasing).

Made me so proud he just seemed to get it when so many boys and men don't. We have chatted loosely about consent before but football and X box are much more interesting to him than girls 😀Previous chats with him & twin DD have been more around 'nobody touches you if you don't want them to'.
Anyway it's made me feel a bit better about how I'm bringing up my 3 teens. The toddler years were hard but teens are a whole different ballgame😀 It's so important to have these convos with ours sons &. daughters. I think I will broach the subject of online porn again soon...

I have no knowledge of the situation in which this girl got pregnant & this thread is not really about her. She was just the example. And of course if the sex was non consentual my heart goes out to her ( as it does about her pregnancy too).

OP posts:
wopbamboo · 09/10/2018 13:21

thats really great!

noraclavicle · 09/10/2018 13:30

Good stuff, OP. Having a LOT of conversations of similar nature with my DCs right now - girl in DS’s year, even younger than yours also in same boat...

failingatlife · 09/10/2018 15:27

Yeah I will continue to chat with all 3. It's so important. My parents didn't speak about anything related to sex or relationships & have heard similar from friends/colleagues in same age group (40s).
Result was I was pressured into losing my virginity by a boy who then cheated on me within days. Loads of similar stories from friends. My bf was promiscuous from 14 & pregnant at 16 Sad Self esteem issues were definitely at play there.She has since told me it was to keep boyfriends AngrySad Teen pregnancies were so common among my peer group. Many ended up single mums on benefits. None of the dads really had their lives affected by fathering a child so young. And of course it was always the girls own fault for being a slapperAngry

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