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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Women responsible for men’s violence - article

19 replies

CaptainMarvelDanvers · 08/10/2018 13:30

article link

A woman has been jailed after sending her ex-boyfriend a picture of her giving a blow job to her new boyfriend, ex-boyfriend then stabs new boyfriend.

I don’t think her behaviour was great and she’s seems to enjoy drama but she is not reponsible for someone who can’t control themselves, yet looking at the comments of the article you would have thought that she had stabbed him herself. People have forgotten about the perpetrator and focused on her.

OP posts:

Gingerrogered · 08/10/2018 17:16

Revenge porn is illegal. What she did was illegal. Inciting violence is also illegal, again, what she did is illegal.

The reason why it is focused on her is because she was convicted today, the murderer was convicted in December 2017.

Secretsquirrel252 · 08/10/2018 17:36

This was not ‘revenge porn.’ The picture was not of the woman and her new partner, sent to her ex partner as a taunt.

If she had just sent the picture I’d agree that she wasn’t responsible at all but if you read about it there was more than just a picture sent. She deliberately wound up someone she knew was violent (and who had a history of carrying weapons) by sending the picture along with other messages. Then she kicked her new partner out of her house and texted her ex to tell him where the new partner was, telling him “feel free to smack the cunt.”

Secretsquirrel252 · 08/10/2018 17:37

Was of

NothingOnTellyAgain · 08/10/2018 17:39

OK well having read it seems fair enough.

She used her ex as a weapon really.

NothingOnTellyAgain · 08/10/2018 17:40

But caclulated incorrectly.

Why did she want her boyfriend beaten up anyway?

Original poster

CaptainMarvelDanvers · 08/10/2018 17:43

I’m not disputing the verdict of the trial, I think the issue for me is the comments. They act like she is the perpetrator of the murder but she’s not.

I did end up discussing the article with someone offline and their initial thought was that she was to blame for the victims’ death, they changed their mind after thinking about it for a few minutes and recognising that they wouldn’t kill someone over a picture.

OP posts:

Original poster

CaptainMarvelDanvers · 08/10/2018 17:48

It sounds like she is someone who thrives off drama and dysfunction.

OP posts:

NothingOnTellyAgain · 08/10/2018 18:08

Oh yes the comments see what you mean

Usual thing
She is solely responsible for the murder
Man who actually did the murder not mentioned

Is always this way. Yes she is culpable but not entirely and certainly not more than the man who did the stabbing, as is reflected in the prison terms. In public mind though this translates to the man who did the murdering is a sort of mindless brute force weapon that was wielded by the woman. And has nno responsibility whasoever for what he did. So yes in the comment I see what you mean. There are way better examples of women always being to blame than this though when clearly she deliberately set up for violence to happen and she knew that was what would happen just not that he would kill him.

Gingerrogered · 08/10/2018 18:25

It was revenge porn. She transmitted it to get him beaten up. She knew he was violent.

OP Would your heart be bleeding quite so much if the new boyfriend had sent the picture to her ex (knowing he was violent) then the ex had killed her instead?

No, you’d be saying how dare he have humiliated her and deliberately put her in danger. You certainly wouldn’t be patting his hand, saying the poor thing should have been let off.

NothingOnTellyAgain · 08/10/2018 18:33

She was done for incitement and sent to prison.

Not sure why everyone keeps bringing up revenge porn.

NothingOnTellyAgain · 08/10/2018 18:35

OP hasn't said she shouldn't be in prison.

OP has flagged that the people in the comments mainly say what she did was WORSE than the man who committed the murder,
And generally act as if the murderer had no culpability.

Which is clearly nonsense and OP has a point, although there are many much better examples she could have used.

Micaela64 · 08/10/2018 19:18

They both sound vile tbh.

Gingerrogered · 08/10/2018 19:49

Not sure why everyone keeps bringing up revenge porn.

Do you know what revenge porn is? I think you must be a bit confused about what revenge porn is because this is a perfect example of it.

It’s defined as The offence of disclosing private sexual images without consent - known as "revenge porn" - was introduced in 2015 and carries a maximum sentence of two years.

I can’t understand why on Earth you wouldn’t think it was revenge porn.

IfyouseeRitaMoreno · 08/10/2018 20:07

You’re right. The commenters seem to relish in the fact that she is a women in the wrong and that they can legitimately blame her for a heinous crime.

What she did was vile and I would say 4 months is too little. But he killed the poor bloke.

CritEqual · 09/10/2018 00:11

Well I mean technically it was revenge porn, as I very much doubt the man pictured would have consented to having said image distributed, especially not a bloke with violence tendancies and a sense of sexual jealousy. Unless one presumes his consent of course, which I'm not sure why anyone would? Can't ask him now sadly.

NothingOnTellyAgain · 09/10/2018 13:40

So the people going on about revenge porn are unhappy with the prosecution and verdict or what?

She was done for incitement and imprisoned, this is a problem for you?

You could write to the relevant person >> possibly the director of public prosecutions and complain if you feel strongly > it's defintiely an option.

NothingOnTellyAgain · 09/10/2018 13:42

Ginger >

Where have I said it wasn't revenge porn?

I just think it's interesting that some are so heavily focussed on that rather than

The conviction for incitement
The conviction for murder

NothingOnTellyAgain · 09/10/2018 13:51

I do think that this doesn't fit the usual profile of "revenge porn" which is why some are so focussed on it.

Incitement to violence directly leading to murder > meh
Man stabs man to death > meh

OOOHHHHHHHHHH look a woman did something that falls under the definition of revenge porn YES this is exciting now I can PROVE that "women do it too" and are therefore just as bad no actually much much worse than men etc etc

LuggsaysNotaWomen · 09/10/2018 14:05

Whilst I think four months as a sentence is an insult due to the fact that her behaviour was a direct and purposeful ploy to cause harm to her boyfriend and I don’t think it matters that she didn’t think he would stab him, I do agree about the comments.

My ex could send me a million pictures and texts designed to induce jealousy and I still wouldn’t
stab someone. A man, of his own volition, stabbed another man. He could have blocked her number, he could have punched a pillow etc but he didn’t and a man is dead because of his decision alone.

Thankfully the law agrees which is why he got a couple of decades and she got a few months (it should be a few years mind, but the we go) but yes, there are those who love to agrandies the wrong doings of women and infantilise men.

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