My life in sex: ‘I no longer want to make love to a person who wishes they didn’t have a penis’

[hackmum]

Interesting to see this in the Guardian. I know people have been a bit uncomfortable with pieces in this slot in the past, so this makes a bit of a change. I really wanted to go below the line and refer her to the Trans Widows thread, but they'd closed comments by the time I found it on the site.

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/oct/05/my-life-in-sex-woman-whose-husband-is-transitioning

So hes allowed to be his authentic self but she isnt.

Not only that but her capitulation probably is part of the fetish, and if she even questions if this is healthy for her or her children she’s turned upon. Her silence and compliance is required and forced.

Yes, a gratifying vehicle to pour hatred onto a stranger on the Internet who happens to be female. Why not just parade her through the streets with an 'evil woman' sign hanging from her neck and invite passers by to hurl rocks and rotten veg at her.

A power trip bowl.
Sexual sadism.

YY AF

Women married to someone who is doing this are just expected to change their sexuality with a click of the fingers.

The article and comments made me so mad!!!

I feel bad for the son. I don't know if I'm making any sense here but I think there is something cruel about having children, raising them and then suddenly coming out as your "authentic self" and expecting them to forget about the mum or dad they know and never talk about them again because they are now a new person.

I mean at least people who lose a loved one are allowed to remember and talk about the deceased person.

Me too.

The irony of this comment and their "correction"

ShotFired

That just demonstrates how the commenter doesn't believe what they are saying, but are quite happy to psychologically abuse the poor woman.

That just demonstrates how the commenter doesn't believe what they are saying, but are quite happy to psychologically abuse the poor woman.

Indeed.

She 'has a problem being seen as a lesbian' because she's not a lesbian.

The comments are a total shitshow, as expected. Why can't you turn yourself into a pretzel to make you husband happy, woman? What is this nonsense about your feelings mattering too?

They appear to think that "wife" means "slave".

Also I bet the Guardian has deleted any remotely supportive comments for transphobia.

[SnuggyBuggy]

[I feel bad for the son.]

Yep me too. I think there comes a time in a boys life when he really needs a male role model (preferably a decent man known by him personally and not a “sports star” but that’s a whole other discussion.)

^^ This is not anyway dismissing single mums. I was raised by one. My Uncle was awesome. But there are multiple reasons a woman becomes a single parent (some are lucky enough to still have a civil relationship with their ex’s). The majority that don’t have male family or friends that try and fulfill that role.

I was only this week discussing with my husband about how as much as I’m happy that he and our boys have such a bond now. I can’t help feeling sad that at this point (to me) my closeness is not the same.
Much wine and tears involved. But I know it’s just part of the natural progression of growing up.

I think the father in this story is selfish.

Oooh, I'm sitting up and taking notice now. Someone not a many miles away from here took their normally mild and gentle dad, in his 50s, into Superdrug and he came over all weird and asked an assistant where the display of sex toys were and then propositioned her and had to be dragged out before they called the police. Afterwards he denied any of it. My friend has turned it into a fantastic dinner-party anecdote but perhaps we shouldn't be laughing.

To be honest I hate the whole concept of deadnaming. Those years happened, the person was born and named X and grew up and lived with others who have real memories of X. It's incredibly narcissistic to expect people who have memories of you to suddenly pretend not to.

If the sexes were reversed and Mrs Smith decides that she is Mr Smith would the numpties still be on side? I suspect not.

ShotsFired

Yes. That comment is what's happening; in a nutshell. Very revealing

Amazing isn't it, that many woke Graun readers think of the Mail as a misogynist rag.

While they are the belisha beacons of sexist arseholery. Exactly what I was thinking.

The guardian is a rag and banned in our house.

It used to stand for something and have depth. It's just shire these days.

Very sad and a dreadful shock for the wife and the children

She married a man who presented as a man
It is outrageous to criticise her for not pretending that he has suddenly turned into a woman

What if he was one of those transwomen - like the paedophile Green Party activist - who claim to be a baby in nappies ?
Is she supposed to pretend he is her baby ?

Women do not have to comply with a man's every wish
Those Guardian readers are clinging to old misogynist ideas, which have been woken from the dead by the TRAs

If such men were hiding their real preferences when they married, they were deceitful and cruel.
If they suddenly decided in much later life, why ?

Shire (like the horse?) SHITE!

Like the land in which the hobbits live, which is fitting given how much of its current content is fantasy.

Morning all, popped over from my usual perch on the Transwidows thread.

The comments were horrible. Really made me question WTF is wrong with people.

And yes, the removing penis thing is very rare. Understandable given how grim the surgery is. (Fine for kids though?)

In my experience, it is about presenting of a female stereotype, because the belief in the sexing of behaviour and sexual preferences into defined Male/Female categories is so firm, that my STBXH can only do "female" things if they look like a woman.

Also, his sexuality is introspective. He's aroused by himself "being" or rather sexualised as a woman. And he masterbates to that. The other party (if there is one) is a prop to validate this, tell him he's pretty and to him to be submissive to.

The frontal lobe thing, I REALLY think this could be the case for my STBXH. Poor idiot.