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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Vive la Revolution! Harnessing the economic power of women concerned about self-id - call to action capitalist comrades!

52 replies

MrsFogi · 05/10/2018 09:22

Since the Ocado boycott I have been mulling over this. There are clearly many, many people concerned about self-id and the way that public debate about an issue with huge ramifications for women's and children's rights being stifled. To date there has been a sense of fear about speaking out in our own names but many have stuck their head above their parapet with Ocado and, generally, the issues are getting a bit more coverage in some areas of the press. We are still at the point where some groups may label discussion as "hate speech" but this is not yet enshrined in law. "Yet" is the operative word here and it is not inconceivable that at some point in the foreseeable future it will become very difficult to discuss the issue for fear of being open to prosecution. So now is the time for action.

I spend a lot of money each year and from today I am going to spend a short amount of time every evening emailing companies I use (I am going to work through my old credit card statements to identify them). Those who have taken a stand (such as Ocado) I will boycott and will let them know why. Those who need to have a view on the issues I will email to ask their stance and then boycott if I am not comfortable with their response (e.g. I am still awaiting a response from my gym). Those who I spend money with/donate to I will email to let them know that I feel strongly about the issue and that I hope they take into account the potential concerns of women when/if they take a company view on the issues or if they are ever approached by TRAs to influence the debate through their contracts (e.g. Ocado and Primesight).

I have absolutely no problem doing this in my own name, I am a customer of these companies and have every right to ensure that I only spend my money with companies who are not complicit in the erosion of women's rights.

I sincerely hope that other MNers will consider doing the same - having seen Ocado I think that if companies start hearing from their customers they may be forced to think about the issues and realise that there is not just one side to the issue. They may also think twice before using their economic clout to undermine or pressure companies that are supporting women. Even if they do not, at the very least, the person reading the email may have their eyes opened and, on an individual basis, become interested in the issue.

I genuinely think this is one of the most powerful tools we have as a (very large) group. The trans movement is relying on us spending most of our time talking to each other which whilst annoying (and being "literal violence") will not stop the juggernaut.

Whenever I find the time I will post the wording of some emails here in case it is of assistance to others in doing theirs (and feel free to do so too) in all these emails I will be suggesting that the company takes a look at the Fair Play for Women website.

I will also start to try to list companies that already seem to have taken a stance so that anyone joining me can factor this in to our communications and buying decisions (again feel free to add to the list on this thread). It is of course of fundamental importance that every time we take a decision not to use a company because of their stance we let them know.

Got to work now to earn the money that gives me some clout in this world despite my sex but in the meanwhile anyone who wants to join my Gender Critical Economic Revolution - welcome capitalist comrades!

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Ereshkigal · 05/10/2018 10:56

Jam Jar in Bristol that hosted under great pressure WNTT with all the protestors blocking the stairs.

PerfPower · 05/10/2018 10:56

This is a brilliant idea for a thread op, thank you. I've been voting with my wallet for a few months but I often have to research companies so it'd be great to have somewhere for reference.

Ereshkigal · 05/10/2018 10:57

Sorry that was for the goody list if not clear!

BiologyIsReal · 05/10/2018 11:01

Lots of press reports that Manchester United are considering installing gender neutral toilets at their grounds. Note they say they have taken advice from Stonewall among others.

Popchyk · 05/10/2018 11:07

The Government Equalities Office give Stonewall money to lobby them in support of removing women's sex-based rights?

Another comment to be added to the consultation.

MrsSnippyPants · 05/10/2018 11:09

Brilliant, brilliant thread MrsFogi. Going to keep me busy for a while Smile

MrsFogi · 05/10/2018 11:22

In case it is of assistance to anyone (I know that sometimes it is the starting with a blank sheet of paper that sometimes leads to the best intentions not being followed through) below is the outline of the message I have emailed my gym. If anyone else sends messages to companies and is willing to share template wording please do so to help others who may be put off by not having the time to start from scratch (also anyone who wants to improve on any of my wording feel free to post updated and improved templates too). If we can have templates for a number of types of company it will hopefully mean we can use our time as efficiently as possible and have the most impact.

Initial enquiry message to gym:
I should be grateful if you could let me know what your policy is in relation to gender self-identification. In particular could you let me know if a pre-operative man who self-identifies as a woman will be allowed to use the female changing rooms at [insert name of gym]. Many thanks and kind regards

I will post the response once I have the reply from my gym Smile
Expecting my weekly £120-160 shopping delivery this evening so that will prompt me to contact that supermarket - will post that message too. I will then recycle this for Waitrose who get about £60 from me each Saturday. The only downside to this activity is that I may realise how much I spend.......

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Belonger · 05/10/2018 12:15

I've just written to the Guardian and explained why I've cancelled my supporter's donation which I have paid every month for a while now. I do want the paper to survive, but I won't be giving it money until it provides balanced coverage of this issue.

Have also got an appointment with my MP next week to discuss it

pennydrew · 05/10/2018 12:38

Yes, I already do this, stopped my ocado shop last week... sent Topshop a message at the time and my teen is not permitted to shop there... did not know about Co-Op and was about to set up an ISA for my teen so shall no longer do that.... Santander is harder, it is such a pain to shift banks and our business is with them as well.... urgh, what to do.

As a side topic..... this is why i tend to like going with small companies and being quite frugal generally ( I haven't purchased clothes this year as a personal challenge, except from charity shops )

MrsIcandothis · 05/10/2018 14:31

Letter sent to MP

Feel free to use it as a template to your MP. We need to get politicians across the board publicly engaging in the debate to eliminate the current silencing tactics that the TRAs employ.

I am writing to request a meeting to discuss some on my concerns regarding the rather topical issue of Self ID and the government’s consultation on the GRA.

While this is a highly emotive matter, I want an objective conversation to address the following:

  1. Why has there been a failure to constructively debate the matter publicly and why have MPs been relatively coy about the extent of proposed changes and their opinions?
  2. How do we ensure that the any changes safeguard women and girls only spaces, and their sex based rights?
  3. How can we safeguard the rights or trans people without compromising those of women and girls?
  4. Do we need an alternative to self ID and how can we foster open and generative dialogue?
  5. Why the haste to rush along with Self ID?

I also observe that measured reason seem to be falling to the wayside and disproportionate actions by high status institutional players like the Girls Guides will only serve to pre-emptively legitimise self ID and further minimise women’s rights.

Look forward to hearing from you. etc.

newmumwithquestions · 05/10/2018 14:42

Urgh I do all my banking with Santander. Going to be a pain to swap. I have a business account though so it might hurt them a little more so worth doing! Anyone know if there are any ‘good’ banks?

newmumwithquestions · 05/10/2018 14:43

Oh and I can’t easily swap mortgage... damn

Belonger · 05/10/2018 15:32

Thanks for the MP letter, nice and concise

theOtherPamAyres · 05/10/2018 15:41

The Times

The Spectator

MrsFogi · 05/10/2018 15:42

newmumwithquestions you can't easily swap mortgages that is for sure but that doesn't preclude you from pointing out, as a customer, how you feel about their stance and pointing out that it will factor into any decision making about remortgaging in the future.

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MrsFogi · 05/10/2018 15:55

Looks like Top Shop should definitely be on the list of misogynistic companies and Penguin Books on the list of companies who haven't drunk the Kool Aid (can anyone think of a better category name than that?) I won't be spending in TopShop but am happy to buy Penguin books

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SirVixofVixHall · 05/10/2018 15:56

I need to contact M&S as I spend a lot with them over a year. Children in need is a big pain as my daughter is doing a school scheme where they fundraise for Children in Need and have no choice in the matter.

MrsFogi · 10/10/2018 23:57

So gyms are an important one. For a start PureGym let's members use the changing room that they feel most comfortable with. Tough luck if the women in there don't feel so comfortable showering with a bloke.

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MrsFogi · 10/10/2018 23:57

Lets not let's obviously!!!

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MrsFogi · 11/10/2018 00:20

I don't have any confidence in Trust Pilot since they removed reviews about Ocado that were less than flattering.

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HandlebarTash81 · 11/10/2018 00:37

Fantastic thread, OP. I’m making my list.

MrsFogi · 15/10/2018 19:50

A few more:
Girlguiding
Caledonian Sleeper
Hampstead Swimming Ponds
TopShop
PlanetFitness
British Gymnastics

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GatheringHerBrows · 15/10/2018 20:13

HandsOffMyRights, can you link to the list of Stonewall's donors? Thanks!

Mumfun · 15/10/2018 20:39

Brilliant I was thinking along these lines too. Coming up to Christmas charities that definitely support Adult Human Females are

FairPlayforWomen
AWomansPlace
Standing for Women - Posie Parkers fund raising organisation. Dont know if she has charity status
Freedom Programme www.freedomprogramme.co.uk
Wearside Women in Need via Jean Hatchets Ride for Murdered Women: www.gofundme.com/ride-for-murdered-women

Rumbledore · 15/10/2018 20:43

As a Santander shareholder I shall be writing to share my views on their support for Sronewall.

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