Self-ID

[DayMay]

Delurking.

I have been approaching the public and most understand.

I have noticed people who have a strong self identity as being a nice kind and intelligent person are the people who dismiss you, get angry with a puffed up chest and nose in the air.

Has anyone else noticed anything like this? I don't want to waste me time on these people, so want to work out who to avoid.

Nope, don't avoid anyone. We had a bit of joke about avoiding young people with blue hair when I was leafletting the other week, but in all seriousness, don't assume that anyone isn't an ally based on how they present. People don't know. They need to.

No one I have spoken to has had that reaction.

Recalling this one woman, she started with "Yes my dear" all sweet, then she got authoritarian announced her professional qualifications to try to intimidate me, took a huge step back announced TWAW and TMAM, then demanded to know what group I belong to, I said I am a concerned parent, she announced her parental status. Eventually she became irate walked off with nose in the air and puffed up chest after saying, "You are telling me any man can say he is a woman", I said "yes that's self-ID".

Its just one person, and on this one really you never know. I'm finding most people get it and are open to thinking about it, and in fact most people get it really fast.

I've had one run in with someone I'm close to who has labeled me a bigot, but we are still talking and I think she has maybe started to think about some stuff I said.

I am going to bring up Bunce and Karen White the next time I see her, but I don't push it with people. They are entitled to their own opinion as am I.

I am wondering if that woman has strong identity issues. I don't identity with a sports team, a nationality, I am simply myself. This woman seemed to need to be seen as having various respected qualities and I get the impression I annoyed her - not just on behalf of others - I wounded her identity too.

You never know, having brought this issue to their attention, how it might affect their thinking afterwards though. They might never have been asked to consider it before. If this is the their first real challenge to their thinking, then that's a good thing. One step at a time. Many of us have been in the same position of taking those painful first steps into doubt and questioning through to the scales finally falling.
Thank you for doing this.

DayMay, interesting thought re wounding the listener's identity. I think that is very cogent.

I recall posting on here from my old account years ago. I queried why a third space wasn't a solution. I didn't take it personally as the scales fell.

I am guessing from the reaction of that woman, people that defend this ideology are as narcissistic as the Emperor, so you are dealing with their narcissistic rage too.

Sometimes I think face to face things get people more het up than a gradual drip drip from behind a screen.

You are ready to defend your ideas and ideas to a stranger on the street or even a friend (probably not a close friend) whereas individual reading or watching is less confrontational (if that make sense!)

There does seem to be a superiority complex amongst the woke, so you have a point about questioning her identity. I haven't experienced that myself though - everyone I have spoken with about this gets it immediately after the initial disbelief.

Ideals and ideas that is!

The demand to know what group I was with too. I was in my everyday clothing. As if people can't have opinions and raise awareness on their own, it all seems tribal and cult like to me.

Well there's strength in numbers, so being part of a group that's campaigning for women's rights is safer for you as an individual, it's more fun doing it with others, you could say it's more effective as you're part of a strategy, and you benefit from the collective wisdom of other women.

There are lots of different groups to join, so have a look and see which one appeals most. Everyone brings different skills, perspectives, and experience.

If you do prefer to work alone then maybe stickering or leaving leaflets in different locations would be better than approaching strangers in the street?

Many years ago I used to flyer for events, and loads of people are rude or not interested in being approached. Don't take it personally.