explaining gender/sex to my children

[donneanddusted]

hello

i have been lurking, but now want your wisdom and advice as i am trying to explain the difference between sex and gender to my children (8 and 9), and wonder if this stands up:-

sex is the body you're born into and gender is what you choose dress it up in. for both, i can alter them to varying degrees until i'm happier with them but whatever i do, it doesn't change the essential substance they were made from in the first place.

does that work?

Almost.

Sex is your body and gender is how people expect you to behave because of your body.

How you choose to dress; your hobbies; your interests and anything else is just a reflection of your personality.

Gender is externally imposed by society.

You can choose to comply with it or not. Based on your personality.

I could have put all that in one post but I'm ill and my brain isn't working properly...

Yep. Probably doesn’t need to be said but saying it anyway...anatomically correct terms for body parts.

It’s a tricky conversation but good to have, those explainers sound really good. They’re also bound to have examples of how they’ve been affected by this already.

Sex= biology which stays the same
Gender=how society views the differences between men and women

Sex is your biology - your body, brain and mind.
You can't change your biology. You can dye your hair or paint your fingernails, but it doesnt change the colour that they grow when you have a hair cut or manicure.

Gender is how society expects you to dress and behave according to your sex.
Gender is a set of made up rules; we know they are made up because they are different for each society and they change throughout time. If they were based in biology they'd be consistent.

Mine are 4 and 6 so a bit younger and I haven't used those words yet but I do say "some people think boys shouldn't do X and girls shouldn't do Y" and also explain that just because DS has a pink top it doesn't make him a girl, and also it means that pink isn't just for girls.
Not quite what you asked but that's where we are right now.

all very helpful. thank you.