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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Sad and alone

25 replies

Mecca125 · 01/10/2018 00:24

Hi. I’m scared and alone. I have a 3yr old and an 8month old, and my husband is making my life hell. He is verbally abusive - calling me every nasty name you can think of, mocking my appearance, telling me I’m a terrible mum, just basically trying to bring me down all the time. He says he only gets angry because of the way I am, and it’s my fault he is the way he is. I’m scared of him. I can’t tell anyone about this as I’m ashamed. He’s been physically abusive once before but I know it could and probably will happen again. I need to leave but I don’t know how. My husband works for my Dads company and we have a lovely house, and I know once I take that first step to leave, that will all be lost. I’m trapped.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 01/10/2018 00:31

Do you think you could call Women's Aid, or tell someone? A friend, your Dad?

Ningnang2000 · 01/10/2018 00:33

Do you have a friend who can help you?

Could you confide in your dad?

Ineedacupofteadesperately · 01/10/2018 00:39

Mecca, I'm so sorry you find yourself in this situation. It's not your fault. A good step to take I think would be to call Women's Aid for advice 0808 2000 247. You also might get a few more people responding on the Relationships board: there are loads of women there who know all about how to safely leave an abusive relationship. You mention your Dad and his company. How would he feel if he read what you have written tonight? Would he really want you to stay with someone who has been so abusive? Why, if it's your Dad's company, couldn't you and the children stay in the house even if you split up from your husband? Would your Dad help to support you? Wishing you well and to feel less scared and alone soon...

Knowmydisrespect · 01/10/2018 00:48

This isn't your fault. Your husband is using classic abuser tactics of telling you that it's your fault that he abuses you.

You are right - you need to leave. Posting here means that you have taken the first step. Now that you've taken that first step, you can keep going.

As others have already suggested - contact Women's Aid, and think about speaking to your Dad. Will your Dad support you and have your back?

If you haven't already, have a look at the Relationships Board here on MN. You'll see that you are not alone, and that others in similar situations have been able to get out of abusive marriages, and are so glad that they did so.

Please don't be ashamed. I understand that feeling and shame kept me in an abusive marriage for far too long. Start telling people about what is going on, and you will find support, I promise you.

Mecca125 · 01/10/2018 00:57

Thank you everyone for your kind messages. I’ve never posted on here before, but I’m so glad I have. I hit rock bottom tonight, I’ve never felt so alone. I really do appreciate your advice.
My dad would be so supportive, my whole family would. I know it sounds silly but I feel ashamed to admit that I’ve chosen the wrong man to marry and have a family with. I know I shouldn’t but I feel like a failure. My parents have been married for 35 years, their parents for 65 years, my sister has an amazing husband, how did I get it so wrong.
My husband is a good dad, but he hates me and is too cowardly to leave so instead he bullies me. I know I need to be the strong one now for my children.
Thanks again for the messages, you’ve given me a little bit of light on a very dark day for me.

OP posts:
CharlieParley · 01/10/2018 01:11

You are not a failure. Not every relationship works out. I used to feel like you because I thought my parents had the perfect marriage and then my mum set me straight.

You are strong, you know this is wrong and you have taken that all important first step. Tell your parents, please, and give them the chance to help you that they would want. And really, do phone Women's Aid, they are trained to help. Much love Flowers

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/10/2018 02:09

Good dads are kind to their children's mother.

Just tell. You'll feel better.

Estellesylvia · 01/10/2018 06:44

Well done for posting OP. You’ve done the right thing and will get lots of support.

Please do cal Women’s Aid, they will help you. Your DH is abusing you and you deserve much better.

Keep talking to us, we are here to listen.

OVAgroundWOMBlingfree · 01/10/2018 06:47

Oh OP you’re going through such a lot.
Just know, you are better than this abuser, you can make a bid for freedom for you and your children.

He isn’t a good dad. Any man who abuses his children’s mother is abusing the children too.

ChrysanthemumsAreMums · 01/10/2018 06:53

Oh my lovely; you do not deserve this. He is an inadequate person to bully, frighten, hit and make the person he is meant to love feel so unsure of herself. I can only endorse what others have said here. You've made the first step in telling us. It's really hard admitting to anyone how wrong it's gone. But you've made it real now and you can take other steps when you are ready to.

ChrysanthemumsAreMums · 01/10/2018 06:56

And yes. It happens to so many women. Women you'd never guess it was happening to. I know a few. They feel they are stuck because this makes you feel alone - but you are not alone. There are too many of you to feel alone. It sounds as if you have a good family too

enrichedatthegulags · 01/10/2018 07:44

Others have given good advice already. So sorry you are going through this's

Badstyley · 01/10/2018 07:48

OP, you are not a failure. The problem with abusers is that they don’t announce themselves and you don’t find out untill it’s already too late. I understand that you don’t want people to know that you’ve made a mistake, but believe me, staying and putting up with it is worse, because he won’t ever change. You need to do the right thing by your kids and get them away. My DS still remembers his father screaming in my face and threatening me, and that thought really haunts me, and I don’t know what damage it’s done to him. It scares me to think about what would’ve happened if I’d hung around to find out.

OP, ring Womens aid, talk to your family. Don’t wait till things get worse. If you Blame yourself now then just imagine how you’ll feel if things escalate, which they surely will.

Good luck and remember, there are many many women who’ve found themselves in similar situations and made it out. Have a look at the relationship boards, there’s lots of helpful advice and support there, it’s one of the things MN is very good for.

Stay strong OP and do the best thing for you and your children.

Ineedacupofteadesperately · 01/10/2018 11:44

How are you today?. I am so glad your Dad would be supportive - he sounds great as do your whole family. Please, tell him. Get the help you need to leave. Call Women's Aid. You can do it. You don't deserve to feel like this, no-one does.

NoodleEatingPoodle · 01/10/2018 11:49

You are not a failure, OP. The difference between you and your mum, sister and grandmother is that you were unlucky enough to be targeted by an abuser. You didn't choose abuse, you chose to trust a man to be fair and kind and supportive, and he has failed to be a decent human being and chosen to be abusive instead. It's not your failure nor your choice.

Please tell your parents, contact Womens Aid, and allow yourself the support of people who care.

pennydrew · 01/10/2018 12:15

I’m so sorry this is happening to you, and that you feel alone. Talking to someone close to you, may help you feel less alone. I know it can make you feel ashamed when you make a choice and something doesn’t work out, but this is very different. You are never to blame when someone else abuses you in any way. It’s not your fault. You can’t control his behaviour, but you can control your own. However ashamed you feel now, and I so wish you didn’t, it won’t go away the longer you remain in this relationship. Call someone, talk it through, find a safe alternative and do it now. I really don’t like giving advice that seems like I’m telling another woman what to do, but I do so more as encouragement and strength. My mother didn’t leave. She stayed out of shame, poverty and hope, he provided for us and sometimes was very loving to his children. Until he started hitting us too and I had to leave on my own when I was only 16. Then I was alone. Please don’t stay. I know it’s scary, but sometimes we have to find that courage and do what is best for ourselves and in these cases, for the children. Men like this don’t stop, and it doesn’t end with you. Please call someone and find help, as suggested to you already. You are not a failure, far from it, and you don’t deserve another moment of this life.

peaktrans · 01/10/2018 12:23

You are not a failure & this is not your fault. Well done on recognising that this is not okay, either for you or your children.

As PPs have said contact Women's Aid & also contact a solicitor. There's been amazing posts on MN from women who have been through what you have, survived & built better lives afterwards. Some of them had no real life support so thank goodness you are saying you still have that. I hope your DD (Dear Dad) etc supports you.

Get your docks in a row. Set up a new email address that he doesn't know about & hide traces of this post & the new email address on your electronic devices. On that email address take pictures and send email attachments of ID for you & the kids - passports, birth certificates etc. Also do the same for financial aspects - copies of bank statements in his/joint names. Pension information for you both etc or his wage slips.

Do you have bank accounts in your name only? If not this is something you will need

Look into a solicitor, again ensure the contact information they have for yours the new email address.

You are stronger than you know. Well done on reaching out, you & your children deserve better. Your children deserve to see you role model good relationships Thanks

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 01/10/2018 12:41

Mecca125, from what I've learned on the Relationships board of Mumsnet, abusers attract you by being lovely at first then gradually become worse and worse. You would never have married him if he'd been like this, would you?

I bet your husband became abusive after you got married, then worse after your first baby and even worse now you have two young children. It's a pattern among abusers. The more they think they have "trapped" a woman the worse they get.

You say: He says he only gets angry because of the way I am, and it’s my fault he is the way he is.

That's what they all say: that if you were better they wouldn't have to abuse you. Well, it's a lie. And it's part of the abusers script.

You are lucky in that you have close family who will support you. I totally understand your feelings of shame. You feel you have made a bad choice.

But think about it from your parents' angle. They would feel awful if they knew you were suffering this but were too scared to tell them. If you were your parents, how would you feel?

Then there's your children. It's very damaging for children to see their mother insulted and scared. You are a good mother and want the best for them.

Men like him do not stop or change. You need to get yourself and your children out of this situation.

I recommend you ask Mumsnet to move this thread to Relationships. You will get support here, but there are even more women who are experts in this situation over there.

Keep posting. We're here for you. Flowers

Serfisafleur · 01/10/2018 13:29

While you are trying to get your head together, and coming round to understanding none of this is your fault at all, you have been lead into an abusive relationship and now have two children to protect, I would suggest posting on the relationships board. Regular users of that board will be of significant help.

ScrimshawTheSecond · 01/10/2018 13:47

Mecca, I'm so sorry.

It's not your fault. Don't feel ashamed. I've been in an abusive relationship - it drains all joy and confidence from you.

It's good that you've got to the point that you know you need to leave him - that alone can take many years. The first step to freedom is often the hardest. There are lots of organisations and people who can and will help - womensaid is a great start. It's good you have a supportive family.

Lots of good advice on here already, I just wanted to send solidarity and hugs.

Take care, and all the best.

KatVonGulag · 01/10/2018 15:47

Lots of good advice here, and a big hug from me Flowers

paigestudent · 01/10/2018 15:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Bowlofbabelfish · 01/10/2018 16:17

paige this isn’t really the place to ask for a survey. There is a dedicated board for such things.

People will also be wary of clicking such links without more info on who you are, why you’re doing the research, at which institution, funded by whom etc

DJLippy · 01/10/2018 20:04

I cannot offer any advice I am afraid but just wanted to offer some kind words. Your husband sounds like a total prat. We've all been there (I have anyway - too many times!) The important thing is that you can see this and are looking for support. I think the advice here is much better than anything I can say. Here is my favourite break up song ever I hope you like it

ChrysanthemumsAreMums · 01/10/2018 20:06

How are you doing, Mecca?

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