Mecca125, from what I've learned on the Relationships board of Mumsnet, abusers attract you by being lovely at first then gradually become worse and worse. You would never have married him if he'd been like this, would you?
I bet your husband became abusive after you got married, then worse after your first baby and even worse now you have two young children. It's a pattern among abusers. The more they think they have "trapped" a woman the worse they get.
You say: He says he only gets angry because of the way I am, and it’s my fault he is the way he is.
That's what they all say: that if you were better they wouldn't have to abuse you. Well, it's a lie. And it's part of the abusers script.
You are lucky in that you have close family who will support you. I totally understand your feelings of shame. You feel you have made a bad choice.
But think about it from your parents' angle. They would feel awful if they knew you were suffering this but were too scared to tell them. If you were your parents, how would you feel?
Then there's your children. It's very damaging for children to see their mother insulted and scared. You are a good mother and want the best for them.
Men like him do not stop or change. You need to get yourself and your children out of this situation.
I recommend you ask Mumsnet to move this thread to Relationships. You will get support here, but there are even more women who are experts in this situation over there.
Keep posting. We're here for you. 