I’ve just been chucked off a feminist group on fb

[Blackoutblinds]

For saying that I am entitled to sleep with whoever I want and that I don’t have to sleep with anyone I don’t want to. And that at my age, I’m entitled to be attracted to whoever I’m attracted to and my attraction to certain types of people is not a threat to anyone else.

I didn’t mention anything else. I said exactly what I said there but apparently that isn’t inclusive and they are inclusive.

What the fuck? Seriously what the fuck.

This isn't even rape apologism. This is rape incitement.

If the people saying that weren't so very rock solid confident of their moral barometer, that's the sort of entitled claim to women's bodies I'd expect an Incel to make.

Sadly, I'm not at all surprised. Until recent years I had no idea I was a radical feminist, because radical feminism aka the second wave was the only type of feminism I knew growing up.

The new type isn't feminism at all, whatever they call themselves. It has no underlying theory, it can't explain itself in any intellectual sense. You get meaningless claims - that anything a woman does is feminist because it's a woman's choice. It's also devoted to pleasing men. Any movement which prioritizes men, however those men identify, is not feminism.

In a "feminist" group like that, anything that might inconvenience men is a grave sin. Not being prepared to have sex with men will get you kicked out.

Personally, I would have given them both barrels before I left.

Sorry for not coming back sooner was out last night.

Basically their position was that because I wasn’t prepared to say I’d sleep with a trans person then I was a bigot.

I’m heterosexual. I am attracted to men who look like men present as men have all the male stuff going on.

It’s no more bigoted than me saying I’m not attracted to women because I’m heterosexual not a lesbian. That isn’t lesophobic. Lesbians can sleep with whoever they choose to. Anyone can. No matter what you call yourself as a sexuality you still - one still- has the right to say I sleep with who I choose and chooses me.

I don’t sleep with every single man just because he’s a man. I still get to choose.

I said in a pm to the leader of the group that I felt they were denying me my agency and right to choose and how was I a bigot when I said anyone can sleep whoever they choose and chooses them but I personally was attracted to adult human males and wouldn’t be interested in anyone else.

They didn’t say bigoted. They said “not inclusive”. Bigoted was my word.

Surely “not inclusive” means you have the right to say no to whoever or whatever you please? Isn't that a good thing? You know, consent-wise.

Honestly, get out the tinfoil because I'm starting to think this entire thing is all a false flag operation run by people who want to roll back women's & all LGBT rights altogether.

I mean, how else to explain a bunch of people choosing to interpret the meaning of "inclusive" from "letting everyone get a chance to join in," to "sexual orientations are transphobic?" It's batshit.

I can’t get my head around it. At all. It is completely outside my understanding.

Surely anyone of any orientation is entitled to say they don’t wan to sleep with anyone else, regardless of the orientation of that other person?

OP, it sounds as though the group has drunk the 'Rapey' Riley kool-aid.

Oh and apparently expressions of heterosexuality are a threat to trans people.

So. I like to fuck men not women. Adult males who present as males. I don’t like to fuck adult women who present as women. And I dont like to fuck anyone who presents as anything other than adult human male and was born adult human male. I’m not making anyone else shag anyone else. So. How is me saying that a threat?

Women have a right to set their own boundaries and exude people for any reason you don't need to justify yourself.

You've dodged a bullet with that FB group. Sexual boundaries is basic feminism. It's basic for anybody on any side of the political spectrum. The only people who don't understand this have either been groomed or are actual rapists.

It's rape culture, pure & simple. Sorry you've had to deal with this, OP - the world has gone slightly mad.

A FB group I belong to for women in universities is feminist and supportive, unless you are open about being gender critical to the point that you cavil at "Transwomen are women #nodebate" Then the group is ferocious & there is no quarter and no glimmer or whisper of sisterhood. Radical feminists are traduced openly.

Because - although it's supposedly a support group - radical feminists are just the worst, aren't they?

The mental gymnastics for some people must be painful - lots of pulled muscles there.

It's certainly not feminism. In a real feminist group you have the right to choose.

This is what happens when 'be kind' becomes a totalitarian mantra.

Consent is as 'exclusive' as it gets.

I get to say who I fuck, noone else. If I choose to or not fuck someone, for any reason, that's still right.

I'm getting really pissed of with this shit now

Good riddance! This is rape incitement at its finest.

Surely being 'inclusive' is accepting that any consenting adult can have sex with whichever other consenting adults they wish, in whatever way they wish?

Anything other than that is a negation of sexuality and consent.

I just can’t get my head around it at all. Trying to work out what they’re thinking is giving me a headache.

I'm starting to think this entire thing is all a false flag operation run by people who want to roll back women's & all LGBT rights altogether

Not all of it. But some of it certainly is.

But you aren’t ‘entitled to sleep’ with whoever you like - not unless they also want to. Did I misread your first line, or could that be part of the objection to your statement?

Are they thinking, or have they just swallowed some BS without really thinking about what it actually means?

No what I said was I could sleep with anyone I choose to and who chooses to sleep with me.

There is a lot of feminism that thinks it's feminism but it's actually just neo-liberal politics disguised as liberation. See Magdalen

Honestly Blackoutblinds, don't spend anymore time trying to get your head round it. It is all bonkers. You can't argue with a tinfoil hat.

Get out, you've had a lucky escape. I know that's hard when it is a friendship group and so on, but honestly, if they can't see the reality of what they are telling you they are not sane.

The mantra I find most helpful is 'when people show you what they are believe them'.

I bet all of them have very clear sexual preferences! Just like the woke beardy lefty men who believe men can be women and lesbians but have a total meltdown if you suggest they have sex with one.

I got totally piled on on another discussion forum for saying that it isn't transphobic to refuse to have sex with someone. These were people who considered themselves to be very intelligent.

I'm lost - surely most people base their decision about who to have sex with on being attracted to that "mate"?

Thought I must have misread it, that makes more sense!

Surely the gotcha there is "but if I can't say I don't want to sleep with someone I'm not attracted to, doesn't that the mean this group is excluding asexuals, who dont want to sleep with anyone at all?"

Let them eat alphabet soup.