The comment was in the context of #metoo, and the impossibility of men understanding how women feel about sexual harassment and male violence.
But it is true - men no more understand how it is to be a woman, than women feel how it is to be a man. I think imagination and empathy will take us only so far. The reality of living with a female (or male body), is so intrinsic that it is beyond explanation, particularly when that body enacts the functions of its biology.
In some ways I think “transgenderism” as a term gets it exactly right - exchanging (or transitioning) from one set of stereotypes to another. Of course, that’s a profoundly conservative act; instead of challenging gender stereotypes, the performance of transition internalises problematic categories and promotes them.
Gender transition is socially retrograde, not challenging or innovative. It reinforces sexist categories and power structures. Girls want to be boys because our society offers boys so much more agency than girls. Men want to be women because they desire the trappings of “femininity”, whether for sexual gratification or despair at the toxic nature of masculinity.
It’s clear from the behaviour of TRAs and allies, that Fran Lebowitz is absolutely right - men cannot understand what it is to be a woman. I’m not even sure, in the face of male violence and exercise of male power to the detriment of the world (Trump, Assad and too many to name without giving up), that men even understand what it is to be a man.
“You’ve expressed surprise that women are no longer tolerating this behavior from men. To clarify—I assume you think this is a good thing.”
“It’s a great thing! I can’t believe this good thing happened! I don’t ordinarily say things like this, ‘cause I don’t really think them: men do not understand this. You cannot explain to men what it is like to be a woman. You simply can’t. Because you’re not just explainingwhat it’s like to be a woman, you’re explainingwhat it’s like to be agirl. You’re explainingwhat it’s like to be a baby girl.
Listen to the way people talk to babies. The tone of voice that people use to a baby girl is different than to a baby boy. So that is from the second you are born. You absolutely cannot convey this to even the most brilliant, well-meaning man on the planet. Some of whom I know. But I have been unable, ever, to explain this to men.”
www.realclearlife.com/books/fran-lebowitz-really-think/