Parents and childcare.

[MitchDash]

I am really struggling with this of topic. I've seen it so many times on mumsnet.

Why is childcare 100% the mums responsibility? ie, husband changes job/hours and mum has to sort out childcare changes. ex husband does the same and it's still mums job even though they share custody. Mum gets job and dad makes literally no adjustments to working life to particpate in the managing of childcare. Or any other change to anyones employment. Don't even get me started on 'helping' with housework.

Is it 2018 or not?

Personally it can sometimes feel like a power struggle. By not doing things but doing just enough so you don't throw them out, they control the pace of maintainance of the home or the type of employment you can get.

My husband was abusive but I still got to the point where I painted in large navy blue paint all down the hall and around the kitchen 'If I don't do it then no-one does'. Working full time with 4 children meant I couldn't possibly cover all the bases by myself. My mother died youngish at 54 and that meant I had to give up work because I couldn't rely on him to have his children whilst working and she no longer could.

But I am 53 and it's frustrating that younger women are still living this shittyness with men. Women my age promised you all different.