Using mixed changing facilities after assault

[bitworriedaboutthisnow]

Please can I ask for positive experiences of mixed changing villages and some "get over it" advice? Or any type of advice?

My workplace is building a new big sports gym which will have entirely gender neutral facilities, lots of private cubicles in larger communal areas with joint showers. I only found out about this when others were talking about it in the changing rooms.

When it opens I'm fairly certain I won't be able to use it anymore (to do with an assault I went through), and neither will the young Muslim students or the friendly older local women, that's what they were talking about.

I'm guessing the gym has done their research and worked out that they don't mind losing some memberships, so I'm thinking that it's safer to stay quiet and never go again - but would it be worth saying something?

On a related note, if you've ever been badly assaulted (being vague in case this somehow ever gets connected to me), have you ever got to the point where you're completely confident without any flashbacks or fear at all in these situations? Would you use these without a worry and am I worrying over nothing here?

After years of therapy and CBT I'm a lot stronger than I used to be but yes, I admit that men in some situations still scare the hell out of me, especially the loud swaggering sort.

I feel like such a worthless nobody sometimes and all this makes me feel more so.

But such a changing room would contravene the Equalities Act, I think, if a gym member couldn't use it because of her religion and/or sex
Exactly but then again that nothing is important as a man who feelz like a woman and therefore they must be protected even if it discriminates against every other person on the planet.

I was raped 15 years back now, and I still have a deep distrust of unknown men today. Sometimes I even find myself getting scared of men I DO know, when they haven't even done anything wrong towards me or anything. Its something I have been repeatedly told I need to work on, however I have had various kinds of therapy and have never been able to 'work through my issues'. I would love to be able to tell you that it goes away, that I would be confident in a mixed sex changing room, but I would not be, at all. I dont think the changing would bother me as much if everyone had individual lockable rooms, but I absolutely could not do mixed sex showering..

I am unsure if I would put myself in the firing line and complain and make a fuss about this, or if I would just stop using the gym. Probably the second in all honesty. I would probably be a coward, and hope other people complained and it got sorted, whilst doing nothing myself except for withdrawing. Its one thing getting threats and such on twitter, it would be quite another to be called a bigot to my face and possibly if word got out, become a target for a bunch of narcissistic blokes, in real life rather than on twitter/MN where I am anonymous.