Don't drop the soap!

[lizzzyyliveson]

'Don't drop the soap' is an old punchline but it keeps coming back to me each time I read Zinnia Jones' tweet about it being fine for women to see a dick in the changing room. If it's so acceptable and men don't worry when they see a stray penis, why is this old joke even funny? Men KNOW that they are concerned about other men's penises when they are naked in communal spaces like showers.

I'm not sure if this makes sense outside my own head - I know I have seen lots of comic sketches on TV where the punchline is that an ordinary man is suddenly confronted by a larger male who is acting in an unusual and sexual way. I'm thinking Carry On movies and that genre.

We know that they know. Why is this so bloody infuriating?

They would be gutted if female single sex spaces were removed and replaced with single secure cubicles, because then there would be nothing they could do to convince themselves that they were a) a real woman and b) passed for a real woman.

and let's be honest about this, it will include men who will be gutted because c) there's no sexual buzz and d) no opportunity to control and intimidate women.

They do get it. They know the score. They know they are lying and they know we know they are lying.

Hey, OP, this phrase has been going through my mind a lot wrt changing rooms. I've always associated the phrase with prison showers, so it has seemed especially pertinent this weekend.

The medical student was also a former green party candidate who lives in Coventry. I think it's like one of those spooky villages in B movies; where everyone is controlled by a sinister cult or aliens. Let's hope that at some point George Sanders will turn up and save them...

M. Night Shyamalan should make a film about it. Maybe it can be called The Perving.

if "there's no issue with women seeing the dick of a TW in a women's locker room" surely there's no issue with a TW seeing the dick of a man in the men's locker room.

Excellent riposte.

And as far as the idiotic comment by jasminemaya. Words fail.

AAK

You've made me snort my wine!

let's hope that at some point George Sanders will turn up and save them...

George Sanders :) My mother had quite a for him whether in All About Eve, voicing Shere Khan in Jungle Book, or saving us from the Midwich Cuckoos in Village of the Damned.

Guess it is a bit ironic that terf blocker is written by people who have been sent to Coventry. Rather than not speaking to vthem they are ensuring that GC people can't speak to them.

"The Perving"

It should be funny, but really it's not. This is getting so awful - it's grooming of women to let men into intimate spaces with them.

And we've seen the results of that all too clearly with a few high profile news stories recently.

Women must not allow themselves to be groomed in this way - the absolute best safeguarding (NO, I do NOT want to just call the police if I see a male acting inappropriately in a woman's toilet or changing room) - is to have sex-segregation. And that means no penises. Take your MALE penis into the MALE facilities.

Yes, that is the absolute truth we must hold to, ToeToToe. It is inappropriate to be male in a female space. They know it and now we know it.

Whats the issue with 'transwomen' seeing other male peoples dicks in a locker room? Its a locker room.

A lot of men don’t get it. A medicine student, tweeted yesterday that he didn’t understand the relevance of genitalia when discussing rape.

Post-Butler "feminism" really downplays the use of rape as a patriarchal enforcement tool from which all men benefit and recasts it as a sexless violation of some people's bodies by other people, with no class analysis of who the perpetrator class and victim class are. This shit is incredibly popular with universities because it means that men don't have to feel bad.

They do get it. Everyone knows that there's a reason why men and women get changed separately. Why are we all supposed to pretend that there's no difference between the body of a woman and the body of a man who says "I am a woman"?

A space that has just biological women has a relaxed vibe that is not about men’s sexuality. I am a member of a huge gym in the US with a very large changing that opens to a spa with whirlpools, steam rooms showers etc. and in all the time I have been a member I have never seen a male body in that space, and that is the point. There is a reason we want single sex spaces. Why do we have to lose that for a small cohort of men who claim to be women and yet don’t care if they make women uncomfortable and unhappy? I feel a need to ask the club what their policy is on transwomen to make sure I knew what to expect. There are private men spaces where they don’t want women either and I don’t see transmen throwing tantrums and threatening people trying to force their way in.

"Don't drop the soap" isn't about seeing a stray dick in a changing room. Its based in homophobia.

I agree that they do 'get it' - they just want to override it. They override it by shouting that TWAW.

AGPs find it sexually arousing to enter female spaces - and it's time people started recognising that.

I think that the "don't drop the soap" thing is about homophobia and the threat of male violence - simply because a lot of homophobia has its roots in the threat of male violence. Women grow up with the overt threat of male sexual violence and (if straight) somehow have to develop some level of cognitive dissonance to allow themselves to form relationships with the NAMALT part of the male population while feeling (quite rightly) frightened of the rapist part of the male population (the cognitive dissonance is required because of Schrodinger's rapist - you can't tell by looking which is which, so actually, on a gut level, it makes sense to be frightened of all men, but of course you couldn't live your life that way).

However, despite the level of male-on-male sexual violence (if I remember correctly somewhere round about 20 to 25% of rape victims are male), men tend not to face up to the threat as explicitly as women. So for a lot of men, the subconsciously felt threat manifests itself as homophobia, homophobia they don't have to find a coping mechanism to deal with, because they're not trying to form relationships with other men. (There is of course another motivation for some homophobia, which is repressed homosexuality in societies where being gay isn't tolerated). And people laugh about what they're scared of, hence the "don't pick the soap up" jokes.

Incidentally I think a lot of men do get why women are frightened of male violence. I find you can tell a lot about a man by whether he is open about the fact that a substantial minority of his own sex are absolute shits towards women, or whether his knee-jerk response is "NAMALT" (by which he usually means "a vanishingly small number of aberrations and probably women are as bad...").

I've never actually encountered NAMALT irl, only online. Dunno if that's me automatically filtering out the sort of misogynist assholes who'd say that or if they've simply realised that saying it to me would lead to an argument.

I've come across NAMALT a lot in my current workplace, when people talked about metoo, gender pay gap etc
There are a couple of blokes in particular.
I never these subjects btw just some male colleagues just like to try and start arguments about them with me. It's v trying.

When I get NAMALT, I respond with, “yes, unfortunately you’re right. Not all men ARE NOT rapists, violent, etc*. You can see their tiny minds trying to work out an answer.

"I literally do not get the supposed issue with ..."

What? All women get it. It is inherent from a young age. They are socialised into it.
If you don't get it then perhaps you are proving that Transwomen aren't women.

I always thought the "don't drop the soap" and "careful in the showers" type jokes refer to men being sent to prison and the hilarity of the idea of them being raped by other men.
Which is why I'm not convinced men single women out for rape jokes - they joke about men being raped all the time!
I think they enjoy the thought of the most serious being raped as extra punishment for their crimes.