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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Lisa M: The point where she leaves is the most dangerous

17 replies

pombear · 03/09/2018 20:39

I've mentioned this before in other posts, that we're witnessing the point where things become more dangerous, but Lisa sums it up so much better than I could ever do:

Venice, Posie, Maria, Miranda (fucking Yardley!), Debbie, Kristina - and you, Lisa. You, you awesome woman.

This is not a joke.

Many of us on Mumsnet, particularly on relationship board for years, have grown to learn this:

The point in time which a woman leaves abuse is more dangerous than any time. The year after is the most dangerous of her life. The point that narcissistic males realise they do not have control - they cannot control their rage, they cannot control their thought processes

The same dynamics are in place here.

Women are learning and 'leaving'.

And the result:
Abusive males who thought they had won - and are rapidly realising they did not.

We can see this by the ramping up of the lashing out.

Hopefully through Lisa shining a light on those most at risk, it can lower the risk for them.

And hopefully they know that so many more of us supporting them (and yes, I realise Mumsnet is a largely anonymous forum, for good reasons, but many of us are doing stuff elsewhere).

OP posts:
carceralfeminist · 03/09/2018 21:13

Yes, this video and everything Lisa is saying is absolutely right...
Terrifying.
Stay safe, especially those who are so bravely in the public eye.
Flowers

arranfan · 03/09/2018 21:48

I was a little surprised that Linda B isn't on LM's list but, in a way, hoping that is a good thing.

drradfem · 03/09/2018 22:00

EEEK!

FermatsTheorem · 03/09/2018 22:07

Flowers drradfem.

I don't think I've ever said this before, but for once, for your sake, I hope Lisa is wrong. Stay safe.

LangCleg · 03/09/2018 22:18

Flowers for all brave, public women.

drradfem · 03/09/2018 22:22

Tbh I don't think they want to make a martyr out of any of us. And all the really scary ones live in Canada, don't they?! Gin

loveyouradvice · 03/09/2018 22:41

Watch this.... but feel strong first... So powerful and sadly I am sure so true....truly shocking.... just 3 minutes which will really make you think

LesbianNotQueer · 03/09/2018 22:48

Terrifying, what can we do to help protect?

loveyouradvice · 03/09/2018 22:50

I think knowing and publicising that they are at risk feels an important first step....

pombear · 03/09/2018 23:05

Exactly love, and sorry DrRadFem didn't mean to alarm you - I think Lisa naming the issue is powerful in itself. It's not hyperbole, nor alarmism, just recognising a potential issue and speaking about it.

And, by speaking about it, as love says, it's an important first step. Many of us see it, gather round and say 'no'. We're all leaving, don't target them individually, we're all leaving. We're all DrRadFem, we're all Miranda fooking Yardley.

OP posts:
pombear · 04/09/2018 00:09

Shamelessy bumping this before I go to bed.

OP posts:
Procrastinator1 · 04/09/2018 07:45

I do hope that no one makes this a self fulfilling prophesy. There are some nutters around who would not necessarily know who to target unless pointed in that direction.

Abouttoblow · 04/09/2018 07:54

Powerful from Lisa, as always.

Ekphrasis · 04/09/2018 08:10

Hopefully naming the problem will help mean this doesn't happen.

Thanks
hellandhairnets · 04/09/2018 08:28

Is putting a list of potential targets out there and repeating it a helpful move? How does naming the problem in this case mean it won't happen? I don't quite see that magic special protective powers are now somehow at work as a result of doing so.

I have a lot of time for Lisa's analyses and completely agree with her about the stage this is at. But I also have concerns about the self-fulfilling prophesy in this case.

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 04/09/2018 12:44

Any lunatic could already have made a dossier and researched where these people might be found via social media et cetera. The speakers at WPUK and WNTT meetings have never been a secret, for instance.

I honestly don't believe naming anyone has increased any physical risk. If there are risks they are more likely to be cyber ones.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 04/09/2018 12:58

There is a man (TRA) who I have to interact with from time-to-time who seriously terrifies me. I stalk him on the internet and he is seriously 'in with' antifa and an advocate of bearing arms. He hates women and he loathes me because I have crossed him. I'm careful that no one knows where I live. I'm not public about my GC views (much) - but even I worry because there are some seriously unhinged types who have taken up the TRA cause.

I'm not sure about that video though. It seems a bit like it is stirring the pot.

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