Sleeping with the enemy. HRT saved my sex life.

[placemats]

The woman is 72 years old and is obviously in an abusive relationship.

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/aug/31/hrt-has-give-me-a-new-found-joy-of-sex

Gruesome placemats The Guardian is one creepy 'newspaper'/propaganda organ now. Personally, I wouldn't touch hrt with a barge pole. Same with contraceptive pills.

Men aren't 'socialised' to take this stuff. It's obvious why.

Starting HRT in one’s 70s is surely contraindicated?

Women losing their libido is not a problem for women, it's only a problem for men.

That’s horrific.

That shows just how anti-women the Graun has become, regardless of the whole TWA(N)W issue.

The Guardian now sees women only as things for men to stick their dicks into.

Great, so even at 72 we're still expected to be up for it as often as a man would like us to be.

A better solution would have been to take away the husband's Viagra.

As I’ve posted here and on other similar threads, in a monogamous marriage neither partner has the right to unilaterally withdraw the physical part of the relationship without accepting that it could (not necessarily would) impact the rest of the relationship. No one should ever be coerced into sex, but within the confines of a typical monogamous relationship it’s not reasonable to simply expect your partner to sacrifice that part of their lives because you do. There’s obviously a continuum between - “I just don’t want to” and “I physically can’t” that one would hope would significantly impact the behavior of the other partner, and communication is essential. I also cannot personally condone the deceit - if the solution is extra marital sex people should be willing to own it and the consequences.
I have to say, I agree with this Guardian poster. The husband should have been honest and told her he wanted to leave (and then actually left), then I guess if she wanted him back so badly she could choose to take HRT with the risks involved.
She seems to have been used and he's not had to change anything (and is almost certainly meeting women and possibly men for sex online still). I do know how horrible it can be to be in a sexless relationship, especially the way it leaves you feeling like a monster for not being able to kill off your own desires no matter what the reason your partner no longer has sex are. That said, when I could put a partner's lack of desire down to illness it was easier for me to cope with, and I was more understanding.

The husband sounds like an untrained dog, humping around. Yeuk.

Jesus Christ!

The husband sounds like an untrained dog, humping around. Yeuk.
Yeah and it doesn't sound like she was happy with his libido pre menopause either. He sounds like an arsehole. I was just commenting how difficult a mismatch can be for both parties. The husband in this scenario doesn't engender much sympathy.

I liked the Guardian comment that said "Instead of giving her HRT, the doctors should have given her husband bromide."

It is one thing to feel upset (as I did) by the loss of libido which happens to some women after menopause (I felt like something important had died inside me) and to want it back for your own sake. I take HRT and am very glad to have my sex drive back. It is quite another thing to be coerced into it through emotional manipulation.

There is also a huge difference between on the one hand feeling, reasonably enough, that a marriage without sex is a marriage in name only and you want out, and on the other hand keeping all the social and domestic benefits of marriage while screwing around like a randy terrier.

This man isn't a poor, put-upon soul who felt emotionally bereft by a sexless marriage, he's a serial shagger with no redeeming features.

(Also, as an aside, sometimes people do decide to live in a sexless marriage due to physical changes - and it's not always the woman who can't have sex. Impotence is a very common after-effect of treatment for enlarged prostate/ prostate cancer. As an elderly relative of mine confided, yes, she missed sex enormously, but after a long and loving marriage, most of which had been very sexually satisfying, but this was just in the "for worse, in sickness..." bit of the vows.)

I took HRT for a while but then stopped as it really didn't return the libido. However, after a while libido did return.

I just couldn't be bothered living with someone in a relationship where all that matters is are you up for it, if not why not endless interrogation.

Reading this just gave me the shivers.

is one thing to feel upset (as I did) by the loss of libido which happens to some women after menopause (I felt like something important had died inside me) and to want it back for your own sake. I take HRT and am very glad to have my sex drive back. It is quite another thing to be coerced into it through emotional manipulation.

There is also a huge difference between on the one hand feeling, reasonably enough, that a marriage without sex is a marriage in name only and you want out, and on the other hand keeping all the social and domestic benefits of marriage while screwing around like a randy terrier.

Much better put than I could manage, thank you

I'm sure I've read a few threads on here in which posters' GPs have refused to prescribe HRT for menopause symptoms. But it can be prescribed so that someone's rutting pig of a husband gets his fucking orgasm. How lovely.

Yes, I'm surprised she was prescribed HRT in her 70s. As you say, Name, GPs can be very reluctant to prescribe it, even for severe menopausal symptoms such as night sweats and hot flushes. If she wasn't prescribed HRT while going through the actual menopause (say 15-20 years ago), how on earth did she persuade the GP that she needed HRT now? All very bizarre.

Oh, it will be because men's wants always come first. Even when it comes to getting the benefits of healthcare designed for women. Just like hysterectomies for men who want to be women when the rest of us are not allowed to have our uteruses removed however much physical pain or discomfort we're in.

women who want to become men Sorry, in my irritation, that got crucially muddled!

I’m extremely surprised someone started her on HRT in her 70s. Medically, a somewhat eyebrow raising move.

Her husband sounds like a prince among men ... or not.

It doesn't say what hrt it is - in all likelihood, it is probably topical oestrogen eg vagifem or ovestin/estriol. This is a cream or tablet that contains a tiny amount of oestrogen that can give relief from vaginal atrophy (Genitourinary symptoms of menopause). You can start it at 90 if you want. Some women call it hrt and get in a panic about the information leaflet which gives the same list of symptoms/contraindications as full blown hrt.

I know women who have been driven to saying their OH is missing their sex life to get hrt .

She should have LTB - he has probably been having affairs for 45 years.