Use of 'they' as third person singular

[Gentlygently]

I use 'they' as a third person singular in a number of situations. I know it is grammatically incorrect, but in a situation where a real or hypothetical group of people contains men and women, and you want to talk about one identified person out of that group, it is sometimes better than 'he or she', I think.

Eg if I head up a team which contains both men and women. I am talking to someone about how my team works. I would say 'I will give this to one of my team and ask them to check it'. If I say 'him' then it assumes I have chosen a male person (when in reality I haven't yet chosen anyone) or it assumes all my team is male (which isn't true). If I say 'ask him or her to check it' it sounds clumsy and makes it obvious I don't have anyone in mind.

What do other people do?

(Question prompted by the pronouns thread where someone said they [she?] disliked using the they as a singular).

Do as you think best as long as you are prepared for the followers of Genderism to go into a rage if you disobey them.

I think them sounds correct in your example. Him or her sounds clumsy. But I'm not a grammar expert. I can't get too worked up about the use of they/them for singular.

In your example them sounds fine to me. Im also comfortable with “they said x y z”
I often have to write about anonymous people’s opinions. I say “they said that they felt blah blah”. Sounds ok to me, I guess I’m used to it.

But there are sentences that sound wrong. I think it’s when you use a name, so “ Alex said that they felt...” it’s clearly not anonymous so I expect he or she not they.

I tend to use they/them quite a lot.

As far as I'm concerned it's a neutral pronoun and if anyone gets in a mood about how I'm not respecting their sense of self, personhood, gender identity or whatever then their sense of self can't be all that strong.

Nothing to be offended by.

Well, I reckon if it was good enough for Shakespeare as a 3rd person singular pronoun, it's good enough for me.

(Seriously - it was the Victorians who got their knickers in a twist about this - prior to that it was considered perfectly okay to use they as an alternative to he or she if you didn't know the sex of the person being talked about.)

It is grammatically correct

"used with a singular indefinite pronoun or singular noun antecedent in place of the definite masculine he or the definite feminine she"

www.dictionary.com/browse/they?s=t

I had a conversation about this with my 10 year old DS earlier. There is a transgender girl at playscheme, who looks like a boy, but they got all stroppy with DS for using he. DS was very confused, and a bit upset, and he said he found it difficult to remember to use she/her because he could only see them as a boy and he kept forgetting. I told him that it might be a good idea to use they instead, because it’s a neutral pronoun, and should avoid any awkwardness.
Honestly, I never expected to have such a ludicrous conversation with my child.
Sorry if this is off topic by the way, I haven’t read the other posts because I’m making packed lunches.

They as a singular pronoun is not grammatically incorrect. It is when people say things like "how am I supposd to use it, should I ask 'they' if they want to stay for dinner, what does 'they' eat"

We have been using they/them to refer to a person whose gender (sex if you prefer) is unknown for decades. If you've not met someone before, or someone is talking about their friend and you don't know the friend's gender/sex you say 'they'.

Use “they said” but only when the person isn’t there. If the person is there I’d use “you said” or “Sally said”.
In the opening example I’d use the persons name or if the person hadn’t been accounced use the job title or team responsible for the work.

Lass was right that we should all start using one as the all purpose pronoun.

As PPs have said, singular they is perfectly correct and always has been in situations where the person's sex is unknown or irrelevant. See www.google.com/amp/s/motivatedgrammar.wordpress.com/2009/09/10/singular-they-and-the-many-reasons-why-its-correct/amp. People who get wound up about this tend to be your self-identified 'grammar nazis' who actually don't understand language very well.

There is little precedent, however, for it as a pronoun to refer to a named person whose sex is known. In such cases many people understandably find it jarring. I don't really mind it myself, in all honesty.

I think we should get rid of he and she and just have one. I do think we need something different for single and plural though, as I find that in day to day life the number of people is more important than what sexual organs they have.

Sorry, posted too soon. Fat fingers.

Your example sentence sounds fine to me and is the sort of thing I say quite often and have never had anyone tell me it's wrong.