Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

This irrationally pissed me off last night.

68 replies

Optimusprimesmother · 22/08/2018 13:12

www.clarks.co.uk/c/Crown-Wish/p/26132786

I just get visions of this proud mum gagging to show her new transitioned ‘daughter’ off at school.

Why would you even need to write that? Why wouldn’t you just write ‘bought this for my child, they love them’ ?

Make sure me really worried that some parents are so eager to appear cool and liberal they are backing their kids in to corner with it.

This irrationally pissed me off last night.
OP posts:
Rebecca36 · 22/08/2018 14:21

Why the heck people don't keep family stuff private I do not know. Mother probably wants to show how 'trendy' she is. I would never make public anything at all about my children (& sincerely hope they would grant me the same courtesy). If they want to do it at a later date it's up to them.

KittyPerry77 · 22/08/2018 14:21

Jeez give the parent a break. If I was trying to navigate parenting a boy who insisted he was a girl maybe I would try to find the positive moments where I could, like where there had been one day without any aggro as the child was just so pleased with the shoes.

I hope posters wouldn't think it ok to criticise a parent of an autistic child where instead of saying simply that the child loved the toy they'd say something like "So delighted to find this toy as it's hard to find something suitable for my dd who has autism".

AsAProfessionalFekko · 22/08/2018 14:24

The sex of the wearers is irrelevant. Do they fit, are they tight, do they run the heels or squish the toes? Do they fall apart after the first wear? Are they comfortable and waterproof?

Social media encourages people to over share. Reviews are supposed to be helpful.

TransplantsArePlants · 22/08/2018 14:27

Kitty

Maybe you are right. Maybe she's just feeling the need to unburden in a way that is anonymous. It is completely irrelevant to the review so it is a bit odd

Gileswithachainsaw · 22/08/2018 14:28

kitty the she's go up to a size 12 which means the kid must be very young.

There's no such thing as a trans child just parents who are ashamed of effeminate boys and jumping on the woke wagon...

AsAProfessionalFekko · 22/08/2018 14:29

12 - so that is very small then isn't it?

HollyGibney · 22/08/2018 14:31

You'd be called transphobic for making that analogy kitty. Being Trans is NOT an additional need, that child was assigned the wrong gender at birth and has in fact always been female...careful there!

TransplantsArePlants · 22/08/2018 14:32

Would a parent who is comfortable with it refer to their child as "he"? ('misgender' them)

Genuinely not sure about that

It could be a troll

FanWithoutAGuard · 22/08/2018 14:32

I desperately wanted patent shoes when I was a kid.. they were never on sale though, so I could never have them.

I bloody hated t-bars though - those big holes either side of the T, the water got in and made my feet cold and left these big arched dirty bits on my socks. I remember the hail hitting my feet in them once and genuinely hurting.. Proper, full cover shoes all the way for me.

TransplantsArePlants · 22/08/2018 14:34

I bet there are a lot of boys who'd like a bit of patent

My dream shoes were red patent ankle straps (lawks!) from Ravel.

Haworthia · 22/08/2018 14:37

If those shoes only go up to a size 12 then the child would be aged 6 at the most. Makes me feel quite ill Confused

FloralBunting · 22/08/2018 14:37

It would be a useful thing for a reviewer to say they bought something that was appropriate for their child with autism.

This is not a useful review, because what information does it add to the browser who is deciding whether or not to buy the shoes?

"Hmm, these shoes were approved by a parent of a confused young child who appears to have been unduly influenced by gender stereotypes. I have been looking for a pair that will be suitably girlish for my own children. I'll buy them!"

TransplantsArePlants · 22/08/2018 14:41

Yes Floral

It's either confessional, or boastful, or trollery. It's certainly not helpful to anyone else. It's pure Social Media

KittyPerry77 · 22/08/2018 14:45

True FloralBunting if it's something that specifically is suited to autistic kids but it could just be something that that person's autistic kid happened to like. Ppl often put in those bits of additional info just because it makes them feel better and so why not.

No, HollyGibney I don't believe my post would be declared transphobic. Being trans would be thought of as an additional need as the child needs more support, much like a Gifted and Talented child.

HollyGibney · 22/08/2018 14:51

I think comparisons of having autism to being trans would be considered very much transphobic by many involved in trans activism but happy to agree to disagree.

FloralBunting · 22/08/2018 14:53

KittyPerry77, oh I'm quite sure the information was put in to make the poster feel better. My first post on this thread went into some of the possible motivations for this kind of posting, so yes, I think it's entirely likely to be self-soothing thing to write.

We've seen quite clearly the lengths to which parents who believe their children are trans and go down the affirming route are willing to go to, to make themselves feel good about their own choices. A small pointless review of Clark's shoes is just a very trivial example of the behaviour.

Original poster
Optimusprimesmother · 22/08/2018 15:23

that child was assigned the wrong gender at birth and has in fact always been female...careful there

No the child was assigned a Male at birth because of the penis and chromosomes. Child like to wear clothes that girls traditionally wear. Fuck all wrong with that

OP posts:
AsAProfessionalFekko · 22/08/2018 15:25

The sex od a baby is observed not assigned.

Stickerladiesoftheworldunite · 22/08/2018 15:29

But the shoes only go up.to 12, that means somebody is transing a very young child, so no, I won't give the parent a break.

Gncq · 22/08/2018 15:35

Transing a child is child abuse. The whole ideology condones abuse of women and children.

JuneOsbourne · 22/08/2018 15:40

I don't actually believe this. It doesn't ring true Or not in the way it's presented. Size 12 is very young primary school. I know that there are stories about mermaids etc supporting transition in very young children but I don't think it's that common is it? Especially as the poster buggered up their pronouns. I think it's more likely that young Jimmy just liked those shoes so woke mum bought them. Or it's bollocks.

NothingOnTellyAgain · 22/08/2018 15:43

Meh the comment doesn't bother me.

The intense gendering of childrens clothes / toys (and that leads through to activities and whatnot later on) is awful though.

There is no reason for shoes for children under 6 (or indeed anyone but that's another conversation) to be wildly different if designed for boys or girls. How are their feet different? How are their needs different? And yet we have shoes which are designed to be comfy, durable, keep out the elements etc on one hand, and shoes which are designed primarily for how they look, less comfy,less durable, and that let the elements in far more on the other hand. Why? I mean just why? What is the purpose? What message does it send? Why are societies so keen to highlight differences between the sexes (formal wear being a good example) or invent things that designate difference, and then enforce it so heavily?

I simply don't get it.

I know a woman who's just had a baby and every snap she sends it is done up in massive dresses and with all sort of bows and things all over its head. It's up to her and it makes her happy I guess but I just think wow that baby must be uncomfy done up like that. And why the need? Why the need to get babies which all look the same really and mark them to show boy or girl through their clothes or accessories?

I find it so odd. And it's not a political statement - I literally don't get it.

And I think this is why the backlash against the more regressive elements of trans activism and ideas started with feminists - so many of us are gender non conforming. We could have been allies. We WERE allies. We've been saying for years that saying "this is for boys" and "girls are like that" is rubbish and now we have this movement that absolutely props up those ideas and with a veneer of progressiveness that does not stand up for 2 secs when you examine it.

So this child is MTF trans and wanted some shoes. Why these shoes? What does it mean for girls who do not like these sorts of shoes? Has the option of "boys can wear these shoes" been offered? The idea that the child has literally been born into the "wrong body" rather than any more straightforward explanations (gendering of childrens stuff is bollocks) is bizarre.

Stickerladiesoftheworldunite · 22/08/2018 15:56

Now thinking about the Hannah Gadsby joke in Nanette about the bald babies with pink headbands.

TransplantsArePlants · 22/08/2018 16:02

Optimus/Kitty

Holly is pointing out that TRA ideology would have it that that child has always been female. She's stating it to shine a light on how ridic. it is

CardsforKittens · 22/08/2018 16:05

I know that men's shoes are a different shape from women's shoes: the heel is wider which means I can't wear them and I love men's shoes. Is the same thing true of children's feet? Would it damage a boy's feet to put him in shoes made to fit girls?

Swipe left for the next trending thread