My husband just accidentally explained male privilege.

[SimonBridges]

Please enjoy this analogy. He’s a lovely chap really but didn’t get my point.

DH is very tall. I am very short.
When we walk anywhere he strides on ahead. I am trotting along trying to keep up. Because he is in front of me he moves to the middle of the pavement meaning that I have to walk behind him going at the very limit of my walking speed just to keep up.

Today he said to me ‘why are you always three paces behind me?’
To which I replied ‘no, the question is why are you three paces in front’.

He didn’t understand.

Poor man. he'll never be a top show jumper, horse trainer, or be able to show dogs. All of those activities require you to be able to judge and adjust length of stride.

I am 5'4
Dh is 6'4
He complains I walk too fast and he can't keep up!!

I don't like it.
It makes it seem like men are naturally better than women.

Probably missed the point but...

My husband is taller than me (by 10ins) and I walk faster than him. He usually tells me (asks? Probably) to slow down. I don't usually because I'm impatient and I find it funny. Our youngest 2 children also walk fast (my fault) so find it hilarious too.

Nice one op

DH often asks me the same, why do I always keep walking behind him. We're the same height and build but he's a very fast walker, freakishly strong legs. I keep telling him he should just slow down a bit if he doesn't want me walking behind him.

I like it. I'mean a vital worried by how many people don't get it though...

The analogy doesn't quite work because male privilege occurs even when women are just as capable as men.

A better analogy would be if you both had the same usual walking speed but you were lagging behind because you were carrying all the shopping or herding the children while he just walked on.

DH does something similar. A 'lighthearted' patronising chuckle if I ask him to reach stuff for me from shelves. Really irritating. He's a foot taller than me. Whenever we go to gigs these days, I make him crouch down to my eye level before he decides that where we're standing is just perfect. It really surprises him how much less you can see if you're a foot shorter.

My dh also does this. Im petite so when its especially crowded where we are walking I get jossled alot and end up miles behind him. Sometimes when im really cross I stop- just to see how long it takes him to notice Im not behind him. < wonders if dh is actually trying to lose me on purpose>

Some folk will argue with anything

If it's a case of "When we walk anywhere he strides on ahead...Today he said to me ‘why are you always three paces behind me?’ " then it seems as if the situation isn't being fully explained.

I mean, if he really walks faster, wouldn't he always be getting farther ahead? Yet we're told that the distance is fixed, three paces. So it must be that this couple actually does walk at the same speed, but the man is always in the lead. So he must be slowing his normal pace or she's increasing hers, or perhaps both. So why can't they walk at whatever that compromise speed is, but do it side by side?

My Dh does this. I tell him he’s no gentleman.

Maybe OP could walk faster if they identified as being taller.

As another short arse, I have observed the way it happens is bloke gets ahead, moves to the middle, then the woman is behind, as the op said, 'trotting to keep up'. Woman walks as fast as she can but drops gradually back a bit, then puts in a bit of trotting to catch most of the way up.

As a fast-walking, tall woman I’m not too sure about this thread

Stop. And sit down if you can. Or deliberately get lost. Fuck 'em.

Oddly enough I am a fast walker and somehow have never left the person I was walking with behind, whether it was an adult or a child. Your husband is enjoying being a jerk at your expense.

Not even my mum who would walk slower and slower as you slowed down to match pace until you were both stopped still and she was embarrassed that she let her control issues spoil her day. Again.

MrGHardy:
Maybe OP could walk faster if they identified as being taller.

Not a perfect analogy because of the implication of men being incorrectly identified as being intrinsically better at stuff than women - but the hogging of the centre of the pavement such that it is impossible to walk next to him coupled with the irritation that you aren't next to him is a valuable illustration.

My problem, and I'm not sure if it can fit this analogy, is tall fast movers who may stop for me, going my fastest on short legs, to catch up. The second I'm level they stride off again, without a chance for me to catch my breath and speak. To them all is fine, they have conceded speed to wait and arrive at the same time as me plodding along. To me, all is far from fine, they have had regular rests and I haven't stopped moving at my top speed for the journey. Does that make sense? I'm bad at explaining.

The key word here folks is ANALOGY

@ thebewilderness

Yes I am making the assumption she is a white middle class woman because her analogy would have been much stronger has she belonged to a maginalised group.

Ffs! I think a few posters need to get over themselves. I’m just waiting for NAMALT!

My DH isn't that much faster a walker than me so walking around was generally fine, but once we had DC we would decide to leave a restaurant/playground/home and he would just start walking, while I gathered all the stuff, put a coat on the child/ren, did up pushchair straps. In the end I would just get ready then sit back down and wait for him to come back. He did eventually get the message and stop doing it but not before telling me why I was too slow.

OP is not using this as an example of male privilege,she's using it as an analogy.