Dealing with adversity against women's rights

[MaverickSnoopy]

I suppose it's more than that just women's rights really. It's about the proposed changes to the GRA and trans rights in general.

I very strongly support women's rights. I also support trans rights and want more to be done to support trans people, but in the right way and not at the expense of women's rights and strongly feel that all proposed changes are eradicating women's rights. For that reason I am very much on the feminist side of the argument. Generally speaking I haven't been public about my feelings for fear of repercussions. DH and DM know and agree and also feel strongly. I have also linked to a few, but not many, articles on social media. No one has responded in any capacity which leads me to believe that they either disagree with me or don't want to speak up.

My sister is a keen feminist and is a strong voice in her community. So I decided to discuss with her a while ago. She doesn't agree. She is 100% pro trans at the expense of women's rights. She doesn't understand the impact to women's rights and says that I am wrong and counter argues everything. She is more astute than me and whilst I understand the threat and everything I read, I am hopeless at counter arguments, although I try.

I haven't mentioned anything to her for a while as it only leads to conflict but I recently sent her the link to an article, which was bloody excellent and argued it all very well. I really thought she would get it, but instead I just got more of the same. I genuinely feel like it's effecting our relationship. I know the answer is to not raise it (never discuss religion or politics right!) but I can't help but feel that she has such a strong voice and she's fighting for the other side and that she doesn't know what she is doing. I feel almost desperate to stop her from the damage she is doing.

Anyone else going through similar with friends or family? What's the answer here? Shut up and put up for our relationship or to keep trying to peak trans her? Every time we discuss it I come away feeling sick and angry and makes me stressed out for the rest of the day. My head it saying to leave it now (and for good) but my moral compass says otherwise. I do realise that one voice is only one voice...but it's still one voice and all of those voices add up.

The funny thing is she calls herself a feminist, whilst I never thought of myself as one....

How does she tell the difference between the following:

A man who is totally safe to be around
A man who has issues around their body
A man who is a potential to abuse, assault or rape her.

Because if she knows this - please do share.

Women have evolved to tell the difference between men and women because sometimes their life depends on it.

How does she do it?

If she is in the toilets, and a man walks in behind her, how will she tell which sort of man it is from the top three to allow her to take preventative measures if they are needed?

Thanks @Agastache. Good response.

Her argument is mainly "but transpeople need more rights". Mine is "what about women's rights". So I asked her, why do you think it's OK to eradicate women's rights? She said that she doesn't think they are being eradicated at all. So it took me a while to write but I sent her some facts demonstrating how they are. It was quite long and I've not had a reply yet. Not sure if I will tbh as we can get quite heated.

I really like your response but I'm holding fire for now. She was actually raped a few years ago and is only just coming to terms with it now, so I just don't know if I want to go there. She is my sister and I love her. I don't want to hurt her but I do want her to snap out of this position that is destroying women's rights.

It's soooo bloody hard when you have someone you love who believes something so opposing to you. From her responses I genuinely think she is missing the points and just doesn't get it. That's the frustrating thing. If I could just get the point across....!

Point out that with self ID, any predatory male - rapist, voyeur, flasher or paedophile, will be able to march into a women’s toilet or changing room and she will not be able to challenge his right to be there. If she calls the police SHE will be charged with transphobic hate crime. NOW does she understand women’s rights are being destroyed?

@Badboc I pointed this out long ago. She thinks it's fine and doesn't have any concerns about it. She doesn't understand why other people would.

I hadn't thought of that. It well be and like I said I don't want to upset her. Hence not sending the earlier suggested message. I've just had a reply from her.

I sent her facts. She is asking for evidence as she says she has scoured the internet and come up with nothing, so says my examples are not facts but fear mongering used by those looking to peak trans people. These are the examples I gave (for which I have read much about in news articles and links given on here):

• That women are not allowed to be called women anymore
• That we can't call expectant mothers, expectant mothers
• That some political parties in certain areas use gender instead of sex in the equalities act (recent labour MP stepped down because of this) and why this is a bad thing (she thinks it's fine to replace sex with gender)
• Teachers not being allowed to say it's impossible not to change sex
• That trans women crimes are recorded as male
• That women are being raped by trans women in prison

I'm going to look for links but would be grateful for some help if anyone has any? Got full on summer holiday "fun" with the kids the next few days and so my researching time is limited and I want to send her some good links!

I also said that the examples I gave her were just some examples of some things and that there is so much more going on.